Friday, December 30, 2005

Happy New Year

Hey Kids,

Knowing that I will be off to Connecticut for a soiree at Kathy Lee Gifford's I wanted to say Happy New Year.

I actually was worried about what I was going to do for New Years because I had not received any invitations. Last year I spent the evening with Mickey and Jan Rooney and lost my shirt and Bra in a hot and heavy Poker game. I was determined not to have that happen again so I didn't even open their Xmas card.

Luckily I got a call from my gal pal Joy Beyhar from "The View" and she told me that Kathy Lee was beside herself because her maid Dinah Maria Conchita Suarez Alonso had flipped out. She told Kathy that she was sick of cleaning up after Cody and that other little brat they have. She said that Cody has a problem with getting shit all over the toilet when he takes a crap, aargh, a little to much info. kathy Lee was frantic since this happened yesterday and she had 100 people coming to the New Years Party, yikes.

Well Joy told her about my Berna and what a wiz she was and how she was use to cleaning up all sorts of messes. I don't know what she meant by that but of course I offered Berna's services for a pretty penny. I am always willing to help out when I can.

Kathy Lee and I have crossed paths before. When she was in the midst of her clothing scandal I let her perform at my Cabaret in Thailand to gain local support and to prove she would never knowingly let children make her clothes for a dime and hour. She did a brilliant version of "Second Hand Rose" while she tossed 100 dollar bills to the crowd. I thought it an odd choice but somehow it worked for her.

Anyway Kathy Lee called me and thanked me for letting her borrow Berna and of course asked me to come along and told me that my invite must have gotten lost in the mail. I actually would much rather be spending my evening with Mariah or Nellie but those girls are working. Instead I have to mix it up with Cindy Adams and Barbara Walters, how droll.

Before I got off the phone with kathy Lee I had her promise me two things to seal the deal to come and offer Berna's services. They were for us to do a duet of "Class" from Chicago and for her to make sure that filthy husband of hers keeps his hands off of me.

Well Kids once again please have a Happy and Healthy New Year.

I know I will!!!!

Kisses, Margoh!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Holiday Update

Hey Kids,

Just got back from a fabulous time in Vermont. The chalet was just lovely though it wasn't opened for the season yet, it had no heat or hot water. We made the best of it and Berna gathered wood for the fireplace and boiled water for my bathing.

Berna gave me the DVD box set of "Wonder Woman". It was thoughtful and wonderful to see myself again. I played Greek goddess # 6 in a couple of the episodes. Though you can barely see me because of Lynda Carter's boobs, she was such a camera hog that one. I gave Berna the gift of Love for the holiday and she really appreciated it. That is a step up from last year when I gave her a hickory farms sausage.

We also ran over to Ben & Jerry's on Xmas eve and they were just wonderful but they both need a shave. I had hair running all through my egg nog. Luckily i brought a flask of rum to add, it was weak with the booze. They had Berna Churning that Ice cream crank like crazy because Cameran Manheim and Marissa Jaret Winokur were the guests of honor and can those to shove down the rocky road. It was gross really but who am I to judge.....

Well if I thought that was bad, it got worse when we got back home. I found my mother Sully sitting in the hallway waiting for me to arrive. She had been told that the "Fishmongers Retirement home" was being demolished to make way for the oil drilling in Alaska.

She didn't realize that I had contacted my Baby Teddy kennedy and he pulled some strings and the drilling was blocked by Carl Levin and some other senators. So for now the home is safe. Thank goodness because Sully can be a handful and I just couldn't handle looking after her with my busy schedule. I immediatly called amtrak to get her on the next train out but she insisted on hopping the freight train again. Well you can't tell that woman anything so I stocked her up with cans of Tuna and a loaf of bread and she was on her way.

Thanks Teddy baby. I really dodged a bullet on this one.

I'll be back with more updates!!!

Kisses Kids,


Friday, December 23, 2005

Merry Xmas Kids

Hey Kids,

I wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Xmas before I run off to Vermont.

I was suppose to be spending my xmas with Shirley Bassey at her Chalet in the Swiss Alps but after she read my blog that disclosed that she had botox injections she went balistic. She slammed the door in my face and said that she would never forgive me.... Yeah right, after she cools down she'll be back....She know's I always have a full Liquor cabinet!!!!

Anyway we decided to go to Berna's 2nd cousin's twice removed Ski Chalet in Stowe, Vermont. We are going to hit the trails and the fabulous country inn's to enjoy mulled wine and popcorn balls.... very festive. I am just hoping that I remember how to pick a lock with a bobby pin, mmmm yeah there we go... I just did it with my Master lock. We'll be all set!!

Again Kids, Have a Merry Xmas

Kisses, MargOH!

Berna get your ass in gear, we gotta go...

Monday, December 19, 2005

Party, Party, Party, Botox

Hey Kids,

I have been so busy going to Holiday soirees that I have slipped on my posts.

Now I must tell you that I went to a party at Polly Holiday's apartment this weekend and it was Fabulous. Polly played Flo on the sitcom "Alice" and had a spin-off called "Flo". Since then Polly has continued to work and is just a very kind and wonderful woman.

When I arrived I could not believe it, it was like an 80's sitcom reunion. The guest list included Linda Lavin, Beth Howland and many others from the show Alice but to my surprise there was many others including Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges. Charlotte Ray was doing jello shots with Danny Pintauro, she's a wild one. Of course I spent the night talking with Gary Coleman and he chewed my ear off about how he was planning a lawsuit against the producers of "Ave Q". He said he at least deserves the right to play himself. I did explain to him though that he would be playing a woman playing himself so it might give the wrong impression. The whole conversation became very confusing that I bailed into the bathroom. I had to kick Lisa Welchel out of the toilet because she started preaching to me and trying to give me Home schooling brochures, very annoying she is.. She obviously didn't learn manners from her stint on "Facts of Life".

After all of this turmoil I looked in the mirror and noticed I had my first worry lines on my forehead, actually not bad for a 57 year old but I quickly adjusted my bangs and called Shirley bassey knowing she has a long list of Plastic surgeons on her speed dial. Shirley recommended a Dr. for Botox and I made an appointment.

I woke up early the next morning and feeling very puffy. It was most likely from the Lay's potato chips and sour cream and onion dip from Polly's party. Polly is a dear but her food spread was very generic and trailer park.. maybe Flo is floating around in her head all the time. Any way I got to the doctors office that was on a small street in Chinatown. I thought it odd that there was a password I had to say before they let me in but for 75 bucks it was worth it. I had my injections and now can worry all I want with no lines, it's very exciting. I do have some odd red spots all over my face but the doctor said it may go away. I hope so or that Shirley Bassey is gonna get it. I'll keep you updated.



Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tatum and me

Hey Kids,

I attended the "Gypsy of Chelsea" premiere hosted by Angelica Houston at Studio 54. Luckily, I ran into Tatum O'Neal McEnroe O'Neal at Jagged nails on 38th Street and she asked me to go with her. Tatum is so cute and still calls me Auntie MargOH!, I was in the film "Bad News Bears" and sometime gal pal of Walter Matthau, he was hung like a bear let me tell you. Anyway, tatum always called me even when she was having her troubles with drugs. I always told her "tatum stick with the weed and never inject yourself with anything other than collagen"(at the time mind you Botox wasn't available). Unfortunately she didn't listen and dabbed into everything but she is doing just fine now and looks absolutely gorgeous.

We had a grand time though the one woman show was a little hard for tatum to get through being it is about a girls vision of what her mother was like as a cocaine addict. It was a wonderful piece and I was happy I went with Tatum to help her through those rough moments. I hope she didn't notice I slipped a bit of Apricot Brandy in her Ginger ale.... (though when we got back to her apartment she danced around the room with her Oscar laughing like mad). A no no by AA Standards but a Staple for Miss MargOH!'s guide to letting loose. After she danced she told me she was going to be on "Dancing with the Stars". Everything is looking up for Tatum and I'm glad!!!!

It was a wonderful evening and Tatum has promised to keep in touch. I'm so happy that another one of Auntie MargOH!'s girls made it through her troubles. Now if I could just get through to Whitney, life would be grand......

Monday, December 12, 2005

Top 5 Christmas Songs

Hey Kids,

I have soooooooo many lists now that I don't know what to do..

I made the mistake of going to the King Kong Premiere with Penny Marshall. I love Penny and she is quite a gal but understanding her takes a bit of extra effort.
I spent so much time bending over the table at dinner that I almost through my back out. Even with that all I really heard was, yeah, sex with strangers and Tommy Lee.
God i hope she didn't have sex with Tommy Lee....

Anway I was able to do 10 top 5 lists during King Kong, it is like 3 hours long and I must say.... Why, Why, Why.... Give me Fay Raye anyday. It went on forever and Jack Black has got to be my pick for the most annoying man alive.... Argh.

MargOH! list have been testy so i decided to do a list of my favorite christmas songs of all time... Tis the season.

#5- "Please Daddy Don't get drunk this Christmas" by John Denver

#4- "Christmas at our House" by Barbara Mandrell

#3- "Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt

#2- "Have yourself a merry little Christmas" by Judy Garland

#1- "The Christmas Song" by The Carpenters

So suck on that Candycane for a while, oops sorry getting testy again. Let me know if you have a favorite!!!

I'll be back with my top 5 most annoying straight people in my next post kids.



Thursday, December 08, 2005

2005's Most Annoying Gays

Hey Kids,

I've been pondering my lists and of course checking them twice...

You all know that I am a friend of the Gays. I love them! I've even danced under the sheets with a few of them in my day. Lately though the Media has been pushing the same Gay and Lesbian's in my face this year. They make it seem that there are only 10 Gay's that can make us happy. They are dead wrong!!!

I have now decided to compile my list of the 5 most Annoying gays of the Year.

My # 5 Most Annoying Gay is this person called ANT. I am not sure exactly who he is but he is popping up everywhere. He is on virtually every show on VH1 including the dreadful "Celebrity Fit Club". They even tried to butch him up this year and that failed miserably. If anyone know's who and what has made ANT a player for anything else but being gay please let me know. I am sure ANT is a lovely gay but I don't want to see him crowing all the damn time

MY # 4 Most Annoying Gay is Judy Gold. Judy has been around for years doing writing, comedy, and guest spots on such sitcom's as "All American Girl" and "Roseanne". Lately though she is called upon to give commentary on everything from what dance Ellen will do next to contemplating what Tampon Ellen is using and everything in between and everything in between ain't much!! Isn't there any other Lesbian comics that have something to say.... Guess Not

My # 3 Most Annoying Gay's are "The Fab Five". It is straight and simple with this gang of gays.... Over exposed is the only phrase I can think of to describe them. It is just all too much and who in the hell cares what they have to say any more. It's all been done before........Christopher Lowell is all 5 wrapped in one , Hello people!!!

My # 2 Most Annoying Gay is Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick. Now I know what you are thinking, please if Matthew hasn't sucked on something more than a lolipop then I will eat..... well anyway.... This team has been in our faces for far too long and we still have the producers movie to deal with. Can't we find another gay couple to act in every broadway show calling for a slapstick duo . Oh yeah Harvey and Rosie..They'll be on the list next year.....

My # 1 Most Annoying Gay is actually annoying for acting like she is not gay to keep her mid-western suburban fan base happy...... It is Ellen . Now you all know that I consulted with Ellen for years and was on her payroll via her Mom Betty. To my suprise earlier this year I was let go for being too gay friendly. I heard she is now taking advice from Mary Cheney, daughter of Dick. I mean really she went from comin all the way out on TV to Running back in and slamming the door shut. She has turned down and shyed away from having Gay people on her morning show, even poor Ru Paul was scorned. She's actually taken the fun out of being Gay..... Shame on you Ellen!!!!

Kisses Kids,

I'll be working on my next list


Monday, December 05, 2005

My Big in "05"

Hey Kids,

Well I am back from the "Fishmongers' Retirement Home" finally. Due to the Midwest weather and detours to vegas and a brief visit to my sister Rita in San Diego I am back.

Back just in time to see the "Big in 05" awards. You know, one of the endless award show's that let even D list celebs know that they are important. Please, the last thing we need is another awards show but I thought what the hell, my Opinion Counts.

Tis why I have decided over the next few posts to share my thoughts and provide a debt of gratitude to those celebs that keep me talking or even employed throughout the year. I am starting with my "Big in 05" list. The stories that I feel are the most worthy of our admiration or disgust!!!!

My Big # 5 in 05 has to go to Kirsty Alley for her ability to turn Lemons into Lemonade or should I say fat into motor oil. She really proved that you can be a fat ass and still attract attention no matter what the cause is. Even though the actual show "Fat Actress" stunk she was able to even help me lose weight, not by using Jenny Craig but by getting so sick of seeing her mug on TV that I became too sick to eat!! Bitch...

My Big # 4 in 05 goes to the end of the Show "Everybody Loves Raymond". I never watched the show but must have been asked over 8,000 times if i saw "Everybody Loves Raymond" this week and 8,000 times I said No. Now I have nothing against Ray Ramono, it is that bitch Doris Roberts who works my last nerve. She is the reason I lost the role of Angie to Donna whatever her name was because I didn't have red hair. Thankfully we will not have to listen to another one of her Emmy Speeches where she tells everyone what a wonder she is. In the end the show left me wondering.... there must have been some reason why I didn't watch it so I am thrilled they pulled the plug. I have heard through the grapevine that Brad Garrett is the "Big" man on campus for some upcoming projects so i'll have to suck on that.....

My Big # 3 in 05 has to be that my "Lord and empress goddess" Madonna has made it to the Dance floor once again with her new CD. The heaven's have answered my prayers and I am forever thankful for the chance to shake my booty to some retro fabulous music. If I had to turn out for one more sad "Mariah remix" I might have had another earache. It is my Madonna who sets the trends and I am on my way right now to get my farrah Fawcett flips Aqua netted up as we speak.... Farrah almost actually made this list in at a cool # 6 for her reality turn. Anyway I am forever thankful to Madonna except for "Shanghai Suprise" and "Body of Evidence" but the new CD is the tops, Kisses Maddy Baby

My Big # 2 in 05 is the slow crumbling of our jackass president George W. I knew it would not take much time for the wheels to come off after the sad and misguided mid west states voted that moron in for a second term. Now my Big in 05 is not meant to be a political statement however when you have a leader who has made this country into an absolute mess there needs to be at least a lambasting by MargOH!

I think New Orleans alone is enough to send him and his sorry ass down the river with no life jacket. His handling of the glorious protest of Cindy Sheehan is also a nail in his coffin. Not even having the dignity to speak to a grieving mother, what a bastard....... His demise as leader and his being viewed as a jackass even by the jackasses that voted for him is Big enough to make my list. Down with george........

My big # 1 in 05 was tough to pick but I could look no further than one of the most famous dogs to ever touch this earth besides my pooch Kim Fung. It is "Sam, the worlds ugliest dog" that passed away at age 14. Yes that's right... the biggest and my most loved story of the year is that Ugly dog.... talk about overcoming obstacles and being admired even though you are hideous, much like Lynn Chaney must feel about her husband Dick...
Sam was a much beloved dog of it's owner Susie Lockheed who said that Sam was one of a kind and could never be matched. This is so true though have you seen Britney and kevin's baby, could be a dead ringer.... but I digress. The thing about Sam is that he gives us all hope in a world so focused on bueaty. I know every time I look in the Mirror and am not looking my best I will dust myself off and throw on a little more powder and get on with it because I know Sam didn't have that luxury. Sam is my hero and should be the example we should all live by.... "ugly aint so bad" kids....Live on forever Sam....

Kisses, MargOH!

I'll be workin on my next list

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Everything is coming up Carrot Top

Hey Kids,

You are not gonna believe this. After we left the airport in Minnesota, yikes, we were detoured to Vegas. Well I guess if you're gonna be detoured vegas is the place.Berna and I got a room at Luxor on American Airlines of course.

I quickly left a message for Wayne to see if we could do dinner but Mr. Newton had back to back shows so Berna and I headed for the Buffet. I ate like a quen for 7.99, gotta love vegas. It was early and I'm not much of a gambler so berna and I headed for the bar and kicked back a few spritzers and pondered our next move. Then all of a sudden we were approached by my old friend carrot top, I screamed and Berna started to lunge at him. I quickly apologized but i explained i thought it was Ronald mcDonald coming at me. Carrot said " No problems Marge, I get that all the time" he also said he is sometimes mistaken for Sharon Gless sporting her "Queer as FolK" wig. I can see that as well.

Carrot whisked us off to his show and we had front row seats. It was well what should i say interesting. I am not sure the route Carrot has taken with his comedy is the right one not to mention his riddler plastic surgery. I warned him the knife can be addicting and honey he is addicted. The evening took a wild turn when he asked for Berna's panties as part of his act, very scary... Luckily she had on that special pair i had made for her.... skid proof and all.....

I must say Carrot still has that special something, I'm not sure what it is but he has something...... If you get a chance check out carrot's act, he is much better than Gallagher and if he has the guts to touch Berna's panties than it's worth a few bucks....

After Carrot we headed off to the Ranch for a few cocktails and some chat wit the girls..... That's all I'll say about that but we had a knockers of fun!!!!

Kids I'll talk to ya when we are back in NY.... This trip to Alaska has turned into a criss cross journey of fun!!!

Kisses Kids

Monday, November 28, 2005

Visiting Mama

Hey Kids,

I can't believe it! I am stuck in the airport somewhere in the Midwest. Excuse me where am I, Minneapolis, I don't even know how to spell that... It's snowing like a bitch here. I am so glad Berna is with me, she's keeping all of the rif raff away and there seems to be a lot of it.

This is the last time I go see Sully, that's my mother. She is so annoying and the hotel Fisherman is only a 1 star at best. You know you are trouble when you get poked in the eye by fish bones sticking out of your pillow.

The Fishmongers retirement home is lovely though. It always smells of smoked salmon and depends.... It is dirt cheap as well and they put together the most lovely Thanksgiving day spread that included a Turkey molded out of catfish, very chic. My mother is the life of the place, she sings old shanty songs and dances the fisherman's polka to entertain everyone. She's a feisty old bugger, she has a boyfriend named Captain Jack and they are just inseparable.

Everything was going fine until I realized captain jack was a bit off his rocker. He decided to show me his pet eel which he flopped out of his pants. I think we know where I'm going with this, his eel was huge, no wonder why my mother was walking like she just rode in on a whale... What a Thanksgiving!!!!

Oops, gotta go, my flight is finally being called, be home soon kids.

Berna get your ass in gear

Kisses. MargOH!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Gods Love we deliver

Hey Kids,

I hate to say it but MargOH!'s old bones are sore today. I ran a 5k on Sunday "Race to deliver" which is a fundraiser for a great charity "God's love we deliver". They supply meals to people who are stricken with HIV and aids and others in need.

Today I am in need of a rub down after that run. Charity can be painful as much as rewarding when you are as out of shape as I am. The pole dancing lessons really did not go as well as I had hoped, mainly I got pole burn in the thigh area. Not that I will stop going because I am determined to give Shelley Winters a run for her Pole Money. She was absolutely born to Pole dance, it actually makes the rest of us Dizzy to watch her rotate on the pole, amazing!!!

Anyway, back to the race. It was a gorgeous day in central park. Berna and I got up early to prepare by having a glass of 3 raw eggs, a la "Rocky" with a chaser of "Mumms". It was rough but we managed to choke it down and hopped a cab to 72nd street where we were greeted by Matthew Modine. He was surprised to see me but fondly remembered when we worked together on "Vision Quest" ages ago. I can't even remember what role I had in it but I remember giving Matthew oral support when he was having problems remembering his lines.. Oh dear I meant Moral support I think, mmm he's a cutie anyway. He brought us to the starting line where Berna and I started our warm up by drinking a fab new Cider toddy I made.

The gun went off and so were we. Berna kept up for about 5 minutes but crumbled under the pressure, I can't wait till she gets that gastric bypass so she can be more fit or at least fit into something different than a Kaftan and sweats. I on the other hand kept up with the pack for at least 10 minutes into my 80 minute run. I thought that was great but some bitch told me that the winners run more like a 4.5 minute mile, yikes I guess I suck and Matthew agreed, he only took 30 minutes. I reminded him that he was much faster when it came to other things so he should back off. I waited until 4:30 for berna but there was still no sign of her, mind you the race started at 10 sharp. She eventually made it home at around 8.

God Bless that Berna, all 380 pounds of her and God Bless "God's Love we deliver" for the good work they do....

Kisses, MargOH!

PS. I'm off to visit my mother Sully at the Fishmonger's retirement home in Alaska. I decided to see her on thanksgiving and bail on Christmas this year. The prices of canned salmon are outrageous this year so she is gonna have to settle for Sardines.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Taking the Country out of the CMA's

Hey Kids,

Well I thought I was going to have a nice quiet evening and just relax in front of the boob tube and eat a bag of lays..... Unfortunately I got a frantic call from Lee Ann Womack telling me she had a big fight with her sister and since I was the only other person she knew in the big apple (Lee Ann performed at my cabaret in Bangkok before she hit it big)that she wanted me to come with her for protection. I of course can't turn anyone down especially when I may get the chance to see Dolly. I hurried myself to get dressed(the problem is what does one where to the CMA's that doesn't make you look like you just got banged by a bunch of cowboys in your trailer). I found the perfect thing a black Asian inspired top with a cute pair of boot cut Levis boy jeans and my Dingo's. I looked just like an urban cowgirl!!!

I jumped into the stretch and Lee Ann looked well how should I put it, mmm crazy. Between you and me I think she is about to go over the deep end. You would think someone who is having so much success would be happier but she looked annoyed by it all. She was thrilled to see me but told me that her sister wouldn't forego her ticket and that I would have to either sit in the rafters or hang out by the bar. Well you all know where I wanted to be so I asked her a few hundred dollars and saddled up to the bar. I asked what the fight was about and she told me that her sis told her that she looked like a lipstick lesbian going to the rodeo in the outfit she chose. I must say that she did look a little Anna Nicole without the pretty if ya know what I mean...

We got there and I was out on the red carpet and dashed into the bar area only to find that Big and Rich had already got there party crazy hands on most of the liquor. They had an entourage of about 20 people including silver spray painted vixens and a little person named two foot brad. You know I had to check that out, I just love little people. They are party animals. Two foot and I had a blast, he is a bit frisky but you know I love the attention so I let him cop a couple of feels.

Lee Ann ended up winning an award but that didn't seem to cheer her up. She came by looking for me when Elton John and I were doing Fireball shots with Glenn Campbell. She grabbed my arm and asked why I hadn't watched her perform And get her award with a wild eyed look, very scary. I told Lee Ann that I didn't even want to come but I felt obligated.. I much prefer the old school country gals like Loretta, Dolly and Barbara Mandrell, though I must say Gretchen Wilson is keeping things real with her latest CD. Well That sent Lee Ann over the edge and she stormed out and left me there. Thank goodness Two Foot let me hitch a ride on his scooter, though that cost me a few more favors it was worth walking home from the Hell's Kitchen area, yikes

Well all in all the CMA's were a big bore, though I do like that austrailian hunk Keith Urban and Big and Rich are crazy...It was fun to see Elton, Olivia Newton- John, Cliff Richard and Larry King. If that's not a list of country heavyweights i don't know what is..... Somehow I think Country music doesn't have much country left, i think it's just pop right now.

Country kisses, MargOH!

Monday, November 14, 2005

I want my Harry Potter

Hey Kids,

It was a hot weekend in old NYC. I went to the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire premiere and the movie is just fantastic.

You see I was planning on going with my next door neighbor dame Shirley bassey who was in town.

Well come to find out she is good friends with Daniel Radcliffe's mother Trudy and they were stopping by to chat with the dame before heading out to the gala. I went next door and Shirley was waiting in full Diva regalia, a full sequin gown for a movie premiere is a bit much and made me feel a bit underdressed in my goucho/poncho ensemble but that is dame Shirley, full of piss and vinegar.

She explained to me that Daniel and Trudy were coming over and I was thrilled since I had never met the actor that plays the darling little Harry Character, just so cute but I never was able to infiltrate, oh I mean visit the stars trailers. You may not know this but I played ragged Lady # 458 in the first film and muggle # 85 in the second. They were all group scene's but I got my 500 bucks a day, thank you JK!!!

Shirley and I were well into our third bottle of champagne when they arrived and we hit it off wonderfully. I was shocked however to see that poor Daniel was stricken with acne and I could tell he was a bit self conscious about it.

Shirley also was conscious or should I say unconscious and sloppy drunk so we had to get her out of her gown and into her jammies. I can't tell you how many times Shirley and I make plans but never leave her apartment for various reasons, some I can't talk about!!!!

Daniel was a dear about the whole thing so I offered to help him cover up some of those blemishes and he was more than willing. I sat him at Shirley's make -up table and started putting on his face. He loved it and it made him feel wonderful, so wonderful that he slipped into Shirley's sequin gown and flew into a fabulous rendition of "Big spender" for his mom and I, we cheered like mad. However, I think I may have went to heavy on the rouge!!!!

Kisses Kids and go see the movie, it was fun, fun, fun


Thursday, November 10, 2005

Kids, I'm working on a show

Hey Kids,

Guess what! I'm working on a show, a live one. I have written it, gotten the costumes now Berna, my wardrobe mistress, is spanning the globe for venue's. It's very exciting to work on something new, it makes me wet!! I think it is going to be bigger than Elaine Stritch's "At Liberty". Well at least I'll be a bit drunker....

I know you are getting wet as well and that really makes me hot! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm getting a bit sexual. It's because I saw that new show on BBC America Mile High last night and all of those men are just so damn sexy. Why can't I be on that plane, a very captive audience it would be for me.

I have been trying to get my Agent Shecky to get me a role on Lost or Desperate Housewives and I almost scored on the latter but they opted for that Damn Linda Dano. Look I love Linda but this is strictly a sympathy casting due to the fact that she went over the edge after her husband died. I really do wish Linda all the best and really me playing a mother is a stretch, I'm in my 50's but still look like 37. It's all that cod liver oil my mother cooked with... Please my mother is 88 and looks 58 but she is tucked away at the Fish Mongers retirement home in Anchorage Alaska. That reminds me I have to send her a can of Salmon for Thanksgiving.

Oh Dear, I've gotten off track. My show, yes, I am going to be singing and dancing and telling funny stories about my fabulous past, present and future. There will be fabulous guests to help me out like my darling TV show director Jeff catlow and my darling Jessie on Piano. I can't wait and I will keep you updated on the upcoming dates!!!

Kisses MargOH!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Help Save public access TV

Hey Kids,

As you all know I made a huge comeback with my Public access TV Show "The MargOH! Channing Show" and I just love doing it and want the opportunity to continue.

Right now there are several Bills floating around to cut funding and channel space for public access TV. This is part of the Republican Agenda and must be stopped.

Please read below and send a note to your Representatives to stop this nonsense.

Public access television has a place in this country and no one should be able to take that away!!!!

Please help MargOH! and the countless others who depend on Public access to express themselves and spread a well needed dose of diversity.

All of my love and Kisses,




There is New Anti-Access Legislation in Washington to be discussed this week Wednesday, Nov. 9th, WITHOUT input from Access Community!

On Wednesday 11/9/05 the House Commerce Subcommittee will meet to discuss legislation that could seriously impact Public, Educational, and Governmental (PEG) Access TV - including Manhattan Neighborhood Network and the nation’s other access stations.

This new legislation is known as the "BITS Bill" or the "Commerce Committee Staff Draft". The Subcommittee will finalize their draft of the “BITS Bill” and move it out by the week of November 15th. This draft will not represent the interest of the PEG Access TV Community. We must Act Now! We must ensure that the BITS Bill protects the future of PEG Access TV!

The Alliance for Community Media (ACM) - which Represents PEG Access TV in Washington - says that although they met with the Commerce Committee during the drafting of this Bill - NONE OF THEIR RECOMMENDATIONS HAVE BEEN INCLUDED IN THE DRAFT and THE ACM HAS NOT BEEN INVITED TO PARTICIPATE IN FURTHER DISCUSSIONS!


Call or Email House Commerce Committee Members tonight Monday Nov. 7th, Tuesday Nov. 8th, or Wednesday Nov. 9th. At the bottom of this email is a list of the New York Subcommittee members of the Commerce Committee. You can also call them at (202) 225-2927.

Tell Commerce Committee members:
1) The public interest must be strongly represented at all hearings and in all legislation.
2) The Alliance for Community Media and municipal organizations represent the needs of tens of thousands of communities and millions of voters and should have input into this legislation.

Sample email:
Here is a sample email to send to the Commerce Committee members
(you can just copy & paste the following message):

Dear House Commerce Committee Member,

I wish to express my opposition to the “BITS” Bill now being discussed by the House Commerce Subcommittee. This Bill does not protect the public interest. It will strip local communities of the ability to operate local franchises and to control their own ‘rights of way’. And it will seriously impact the operation of public, educational, and governmental TV in my community. I strongly urge you to protect the public interest, and to include input from the Alliance for Community Media in the writing of any legislation related to the introduction of broadband services in my community.

Your Name

Please send your comments to the following 3 House Commerce Committee members from New York:

1) Eliot L. Engel, New York

2) Vito Fossella, New York

3) Edolphus Towns, New York

You can also go to the following link to get the contact information for the full Commerce Committee. We encourage you to voice your concerns and send them the same comments:

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Hubba, Hubba Hulaween

Hey Kids,

last night I hit the town with Berna and my other gang of ghouls including my fab new friend, fellow Celiac and piano player Jessie. She is actually the illegitimate daughter of Liberace and can really tickle those ivories much like her father. We were also accompanied by my new gal pal and designer Sue Wong and of course my super Glenda who said she was in a female bear costume but honestly she just forgot to shave.

First we headed out to the parade but the masses of freaks was just too much so we decided to take up Bette's that's Bette Midler's personal invite to her annual Hulaween Gala at The Waldorf. Luckily Glenda had to go back to the building due to a hair raising back up in Shirley Bassey's Tub. I like Glenda but taking her to a Gala is just not in anyone's best interest, on the other hand she does bare a striking resemblance to Bruce Vilanch and they let him out in public. Anyway, the party was very Bette and many stars were on hand. My darling friend Eartha Kitt was there and looking fabulous, she said she started using "Signature Club A" from QVC and it's turned back the clock for her again, that woman looks fabulous... When will she get her one woman show on Broadway.....Hopefully soon. Chevy Chase was there and of course he was all hands as usual, he is such a perv. Mimi was there (that's Mariah Carey) and she lambasted me for my "Shaking if off" blog but after all was said and done we made up over the shrimp cocktail bowl and she promised to stay dry for a while. Martha was there obviously in disguise due to her failed version of the "Apprentice" but I'm not quite sure what in the hell she was "Jessica simpson with a monkey". That scarey John Lithgow was there playing a poor man's Andy Warhol, he scares me.

Well after hanging with Bette we decided to grab Yoko and go down the LES Haunted House. It was suppose to be very scarey and Yoko said she needed to be frightened to get some inspiration for her upcoming studio album. I was frightened to hear she was in the studio, not again.

We hopped the 6 train at Grand central and made our way top the fright fest. It was filled with great anticipation that Yoko and I had to have 6 Margarita's while we were waiting in Line(think I found a new drinkin partner).

Well kids I'm sad to announce that the haunted house was not scary at all. In fact it sucked. Jessie, Yoko and I were glued to eachother and were getting very close but after a few seconds we realized it was more like a bad David Lynch Film and relaxed. I much go for people jumping out at you with spooky costumes. Not a girl pulling out her teeth with a wrench, please I could that. It made me mad that I spent 20 bucks on an unfrightful fright fest and all the while could have just had 4 more margarita's and had Glenda jump out of my Closet....

Well all in all it was a Hubba, Hubba Halloween and it was fun dishing it up with Yoko again, she should get out more...

Kisses, MargoH!

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Ann Coulter is Crazy

Hi Kids,

If you see this woman in the street please run the other way, take cover in any bar you can find and have a stiff drink.

Ann Coulter is Crazy. Story to follow....

Kisses, MargOH!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

"I've gotta crush on you" Al Franken

Hey Kids,

My mornings are so much brighter now that I have Al Franken in combo with my Mimosa's.

The thing is I really want to have him. Ever since I have been watching his show on "The Sundance Channel" I've been hot, things have really been boiling over. I was never much for the geeky quiet type but I really wanna take a ride on the Franken.

He is so smart and really fills my senses with joy unlike that other morning show I had been watching. The "other" morning show has seemed to have taken a turn to spouting "Bush Propaganda" and katie's legs are not enough for me to keep watching.

I am making it my mission to let Al know how I feel even though he is a married man. Not that I would dream of breaking up a marriage, I learned my lesson with Liz and Richard, the second time around. Oh! Stop judging me! If you had a chance to sleep with Richard Burton you would..... Wouldn't you?

Berna told me that Al was doing a book signing this weekend so I am heading over to say Hi. I hope that his pesky wife Frannie isn't there!!!! I'll let you know what happens



Monday, October 24, 2005

Yuk, Bobby Trendy

Hey Kids,

Oh! Kids I almost forgot to tell you that when I was in LA I ran into that mess Bobby Trendy. You know him as the loser designer from "The Anna Nicole Show". As I explained I attended the Sue Wong show and sat next to Tara Lapinski but I hadn't told you that on the other side of me was none other than Bobby Trendy. He looked as though he had stolen Kim Fung's(my darling pooch)Halloween costume.

I had never set eyes on him other than on the show and let me tell you I was a bit concerned. I thought you were only suppose to get face lifts later in life(luckily I have good gene's and barely have a wrinkle, I think it was the fish oil my mother cooked with)but he obviously has gone under the knife. Tara told me that she was told that he was actually 50 mmmm.... I wonder.

Anyway, the show started and the lights went down and it was fabulous. I just love Sue's use of exotic materials and unconventional patterns. However, half way through I went to for my purse to grab my lip gloss(the LA air is so dry sometimes)and couldn't find it. I looked at Bobby and his lips were dripping with gloss and I could smell root beer(my flavor). I couldn't believe it and was very upset, he looked at me with that pretentious smile. I leaned in and said "Did you steal my root beer lip gloss". He replied "No Kitten I just borrowed it" and he handed it back to me. Well after spotting that unusually large boil like cold sore on his lip I decided to take the high road and let him keep it.

Can you believe it!!!! What a mess.....



Thursday, October 20, 2005

LA Baby

Hey Kids,

It's been a hectic couple of days...well week I should say!!

I just flew back from LA where I attended many events including the Mercedez Benz fashion week show of my darling Sue Wong. Her clothes are really special. She even promised me the icy looking hat for my Christmas party rounds (and rounds and rounds).

I had a wonderful time aside from the fact that I had to sit next to that "terror of the ice" herself Tara Lapinski. She kept asking me for velamints to conceal the smell coming from the flask of gin she was sipping on. In the old days I would join in on that but as you all know I am gin free for over a year now.

I also attended the "Environmental Media Awards" with my gal pal Kathy Najimy. Now I love Kathy and we've been to a couple of things together (I'll never forget my night on the town with her after Lily Tomlin's last Broadway show - yikes!!) but when we were entering on the red carpet she blocked me out making it impossible for me to show off my Sue Wong original. She is so greedy for the spotlight.

I was so excited to get to talk to the darling Alicia Silverstone, I just love her. Also on hand was the very hungry looking Nicole Ritchie. I felt like running to get her an "In and Out" burger right away but decided that probably wouldn't sit well with this crowd.

All in all the event was crunchy with love, right down to the envirofriendly chairs we were able to take home and use for firewood.

The last event was the "Ruby Red Slipper" gala I attended to celebrate the 50th anniversary of "The Wizard Of OZ'. Liza and Lorna asked me to attend due to their busy schedules and lucky thing I did because the only celebs there were myself , Jane Kaczmarek,Adrienne Barbeau and the surviving munchkins.

I must say there is still nothing more lovely than watching Judy in this film though I could have done without getting felt up by that pesky munchkin Meinhardt Raabe (we had a one night stand back in my Russ Meyer days and he still thinks he can climb to second base with me).

It was a wild time in old LA and I know I should get out there more.

I also wanted to send out a special thanks to Kathy Griffin for letting me stay at her lovely but may I say extremely large home(I got lost twice and ended up in bed with her mother and father, I think they were drunk so hopefully they won't remember).



Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Liza and Cher to Sue for Gross and Hideous Representation

Hi Kids,

These pictures say it all. It's a real Drag

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Mariah is all wet but "Shaking it off"

Hey Kids,

As all of you know I consult for many celebrities including but not limited to Ellen Degenerous, Doris Roberts, R. Kelley(if you think he came up with that "Closet" song idea,think twice), and my darling "Mimi" (that's Mariah Carey). This brings me to what today's blog is about... Taking my advice and overusing it.

The first example of this is that I told Ellen to do a little dancing at the beginning of her show and we all know how that got out of control.

However,I must tell you about the biggest abuser of my ideas and that is "Mimi"(that's Mariah carey).

Many years ago I was hired to consult on "Mimi's" video "Honey" where she was to be held captive and escapes on a 3 wheeler in spiked heels. Thanks to me that changed to Mariah breaking free and jumping off the balcony into the pool and then onto a Jet ski, the only thing that didn't change was the heels. I told Mariah that she should try to emulate a butterfly with dew on its wings. That girl has been wet ever since!!!

First there was the latest video "Shake it Off" where I had recommended that she lay upon a bed of roses with a cascade of butterflies flapping on her bosoms with a mega blast of wind for effect. Well, when I got there "Mimi" had ordered a tub and was filling it with water for her to splash around in. Now , again I love that girl but after I complained that she never takes my suggestions to heart she took a plunge into the tub for the shoot.

She was so eager to get into the tub that she created a cannonball effect and splashed water all over me and the crew. I at least made her go with the roses idea and threw a bunch of pedals all over her and they ended up sticking to her like glue(Okay so all of my idea's aren't perfect but I still get paid).

If you have seen the video you know it was as uncomfortable to shoot as it was to watch but what "Mimi" says goes. She filled the tub too much and at one point had to be rescued from a near drowning( I got wet again).

Secondly was my experience at the VMA's when I was drenched by Kelly Clarkson's performance but again this was all flamed by Mariah's eagerness to take a plunge in a pool. Mariah felt that if she should be wet that Kelly should be to and so on and so on. "Mimi" some of us who have to wear heavy make-up can't be wet all the time!!! Poor Kelly should think about Pro-active....

The thing is that she doesn't understand that no one wants to see her wet. We love a dry wind blown "Mimi" walking through a field of wheat.... Ah the "Vision of Love" days, how I long for the simpler and dry Mariah of yore.

Hopefully Mariah will take my word for it and really "Shake it off" for a dry 2006.



Thursday, October 13, 2005

Only Olivia

Hey Kids,

I went to see the fabulous Olivia Newton John on Tuesday night and had a bang up evening. It turns out that I sat right next to one of my old friends Didi Conn, you know Frenchie from "Grease". I played a pivital role in Grease as well as a spastic hand-jiver. I can still give a good hand -jive and so can Didi, we were hand-jiving eachother all throughout the concert.

Olivia looked lovely and sang like the gentle bird she is. Though I know Olivia has a wild side she seemed to be in an Angelic mode even as she tore through the rock medly that included "Rumor", and the ever popular "Twist of Fate" . The crowd went wild.

Speaking of the crowd, Olivia has a strange audience, more like freaks. On one side of me was two men from Texas that were planning to attend her whole tour, mmmm now that is dedication (very Scarey). On the other side of Didi was a man who claimed he was 104 years old and had a woody for Olivia, well a cane that he was determined to get her to sign. It was a crowd of all ages and many of them brought her flowers and gifts to the stage. I think it is her open nature that makes people feel that they can run to her.

After the show Didi and I spent some face time with Olivia and knocked back some champers. We talked about the old days and how we all looked so fabulous for women of our age. Didi and I said our goodbye's and feeling Aussie we went for a T-bone at the Outback.... Olivia "I honestly love you"

Kisses, MargOH!

Friday, September 30, 2005

MargOH! and Liza Pole dancing

Hi Kids,

I ran into Liza at the Broadway Katrina benefit the Sunday before last and she was looking fabulous. I hadn't seen her since the night we went to see "All Shook Up".

She reminded me of my open invitation to start taking dance lessons with her main man Luigi. I've been on the road so much that I haven't had the chance.

I told her that when I was in Miami for the VMA's, Mimi (that's Mariah Carey) gave me a tip about the new pole dancing lessons at Crunch. Mimi (that's Mariah Carey) said she started taking them to strengthen her thighs and ankles to help her walk in heels (despite the fact that I connected her with J. Alexander for proper training, the poor dear STILL has trouble). Honestly I think it was to strengthen something else but I won't go there.

Liza thought it was a fab idea especially for us women of "a certain age"...things tend to get a little loose in the strangest areas. I also thought it would be a good way for old Liza to take some weight off of the new knee's.

I made the reservation and the boys at Crunch are currently greasing up their poles in anticipation.

Marcus at Crunch told us that he put us in the class with Elaine Stritch, Katie Couric,Gary Coleman, Mandy Patinkin, Shelly Winters, Richard Simmons,Marjorie Gubelmann Raein, Angela Lansbury and Moby. Pole dancing obviously has universal appeal and really is something people of any age can enjoy. A girl named Pansey Peckers is going to be our instructor and Moby is bringing the Teany... I can't wait!!

See ya at the gym,

Kisses MargOH!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Another Crazy Night with Mindy Cohn

Hi Kids,

My dear friend Mindy Cohn was in town, you know her as the lovable Natalie from "The Facts of life". I am pleased to tell you that I know her as a boozehound with a penchant for the dark and dangerous, my favorite type of girl.

We started the night out at Bungalow 8, what an absolute boring ass bar. Richard hatch was the most notable person there besides us and he was belly up to the bar trying to figure out how to pay for the drinks, just like his tax troubles, poor thing, please, that fat ass deserves it!!!!

I said hey Mindy lets blow this place and head to Splash and get wet with the boys.

Mindy and I really cut a rug and were being ravaged by gays and loving it. Of course Graham Norton was there and telling Mindy and I filthy jokes until we had to run to the ladies and pee or was it until he passed out stoned drunk, I can't remember. When you are out with Mindy everything is a blur, she has loads of energy.

After Splash we were starved so we headed to that papaya place that has cheap hot dogs, Mindy had about 15.... I of course at mine bunless due to my pesky Gluten issue. Mindy told me she was gearing up to go for next years nathan's famous hot dog eating contest. The way she chomped those dogs down she may be strong competition for the king of the hot dog Kobiachi. This girl is amazing, always trying new things and lovin it.

We said our goodbye's and Mindy planted an unusually long kiss with a bit of tongue on my lips. I was a bit taken back but somewhat turned on. Mindy jumped in the cab and promised to keep in touch and maybe have an overnight on her next visit.

I waved a gentle goodbye and was left missing Nat. Can't wait to see her again.

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Memories of Fidel

Hi Kids,

Yes. I know you can't believe that I , little old MargOH!, has mingled with a ruthless dictator.....

Well it's true. Let me explain

After I filmed the Russ Meyer film "Common Law Cabin" I became, how should I say it, sought after for my knockers. Many of you may not know this but Fidel is a tit man of the highest order. He saw the film and started calling me at all hours of the night begging me to come to Cuba for a performance. I was of course hesitant at first but after an offer I couldn't refuse I took a flight to Mexico and under the dark of night made my way to Cuba.

A man called Enrique was there to welcome me and I was taken by limo to what I would call a nice but dusty palace. I was whisked into the presidential suite and told to put on the gown that was draped on the bed. I of course argued with the butler but he said when Fidel asks you to do something you do it and he slammed the door.

I was terrified and wondered if I had made the right decision to come to Cuba. I undressed and slipped on what was actually a fabulous beaded gown that of course accentuated my perky bosoms. I then noticed on my nightstand a large pitcher of what looked like water with mint in it. Of course I was thirsty and poured a glass and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was booze, my first taste of what i would later find out was a mojito.

Suddenly a knock at the door and in walked Fidel. I don't know if it was the libation but he was actually quite handsome and tall. He extended his hand and thanked me for coming. I said "No problem, I needed the cash". I was young and naive but somehow this seemed to turn him on and he kissed my hand and walked me to the great room where I was to perform. The room was filled with military men and the air reeked of cigar smoke.

I walked to the piano and to my surprise Peter Allen was tinkling away at the keys. Well I almost wet my gown as I leaned in towards him. Do you know "Downtown" . Peter answered "Of course I know Downtown and I also go downtown if you know what I mean toots" as he gazed over to Enrique. I flew into a spastic version of "Downtown" Some of it Peter even played with his toes, just amazing.

After the performance I spent the night smokin stogies and mingling with the boys. Fidel and I talked for hours and have been in touch ever since and believe me Fidel tried to touch...., I always forget that special Mojito recipe and have to leave messages with Enrique to squirrel it out for me.

Now flash to present day kids. I called Fidel after Hurricane Katrina struck and told him it would be a perfect opportunity for him to show some humanity. To shed some of that calloused, rough-handed, dictatorial, macho bravado (that works in the sack honey but it don’t wash when the masses are clothed in rags and fighting each other for an ice cube) and show some of that smooth, rum-lubed lovin’ side he showed to me all those years ago.

He LOVED the idea!!! It reminded him of why he fell for me in the first place (well second place…can’t forget the knockers!). I’m afraid he may start calling me every day again.

Actually Bushy reminds me a lot of Fidel. They’re both very stubborn and not willing to listen to any new ideas or even negotiate with anyone (again back to the sack…Fidel likes a little pussy-boy, butt slappin’ now and then, shows me he might be up for negotiations if the president were Pam Anderson, anyway I’ve digressed…). It’s always “blah, blah, blah…my way or the highway” or “blah, blah, blah…with us or against us”. It all sounds very commie to me!

They are more alike than they’ll ever know. Sad…and so “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” - “Fidel you mean all this time we could have been…friends?”

So anyway Fidel took my advice and made the offer to send doctors and supplies to help the devastated Gulf Coast out. The gesture came and went with the flutter of a headline. At least he tried…that little pussy-boy is learnin’ I tell you.

All of this typing has made me thirsty. I think I’ll have Berna make me one of Fidel's special Mojito's.

The recipe is on the fridge magnet he made for me.

Talk to ya later kids,


Thursday, September 08, 2005

A Poem for the ages

MargOH! with Nellie McKay Posted by Picasa


I was on my way back from Miami and I wrote a poem while I sipped my Sake and chaser of caffeine free Diet coke. It is a litle diddy i wrote about my friend Nellie,

MargOH! and Nellie

Those two girls what a pair
In step walking side by side
Talking in a carefree tune
Thoughts dancing, smiling wide
People staring but they won’t hide
Friends til the end
In step walking side by side

MargOH is a big boned gal
Most everyone looks twice
Covering up with L’Oreal
Sophisticated glamour always nice
Working on an angle, independent and free
Stop staring; she’s who she wants to be

Nellie is a young pioneer, ambitious, no fear
She has a vintage style and talent that’s rare
She’s no pageant gone bad
Her music makes you imagine a world both happy and sad
She sings for human and animal rights
Optimistic we’ll win the fight
Standing tall, independent and free
Stop Staring, she’s who she wants to be

MargOH and Nellie don’t fit the mold
Two works of art bigger than life to behold
Don’t ask don’t tell
They’re not ready to say
What business is it of yours anyway?
These two friends til the end
Working on an angle, independent and free
Stop staring; they’re who they want to be

It’s not a matter of sexual orientation
Small-minded people currently rule this nation
Just so that you’re in the know
MargOH and Nellie are just friends on the go
Two girlfriends til the end
Working on an angle, independent and free
Stop staring; they’re who they want to be
They’re who they want to be

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The MTV Video Music awards

Hey Kids,

I just got back from Miami, what a weekend, wow!!!!

This was a blast, I was hired as a fan, yes a fan. A whole group of us were paid to stand down by the stage and act like we were having fun and loving the performances, what a gig. Diddy's peeps told me that they wanted a woman of my age in the mix to bring the generations of music fans together.... How touching..... That was a fucking nightmare..........

Everything was going just fine, I was mixing it with the kids and rolling with the flow until the very end when the waterworks were turned on for the Kelly Clarkson finale. I was soaked, not to mention my eyeliner made me look like Tammy Faye had volunteered to do my make-up for the evening and my DVF wrap dress started to shrink before the eyes of me teen co-horts. They got an eyeful let me tell you.

If that weren't bad enough that damn American Idol lackey slipped and fell right on top of me and pushed herself back up and felt my breast. I knew she was a lesbian..... Needless to say after that I stormed backstage after brushing by Diddy I demanded an apology.

Little kelly was a bit upset as well, she explained that the water was a last minute request by Mariah because she felt she should not be the only one getting wet, please she barely put her toes in that pool but here stood kelly and I wet as beavers. Kelly did apologize and also wrote me a check for 5K in case I was injured.

After I dried off and retouched I partied all night with Paris, and Diddy's mom... They thought I was Liza on a bender....

Thanks, Kids....

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

It's been too Long

Hey Kids,

I must, I must ,I must increase my bust.Oh,I Meant,blog.

I have been vacationing and enjoying life as long as our dear, dear president. Well my vacation has only been for 4 weeks and our Dear pres has taken 5. I am so happy that he unlike most american's have this luxury.

I did get in touch with Cindy Sheehan and sent her a case of lotion and sunscreen to help protect her from getting more wrinkles. It's not easy standing up for the cause that we all should be screaming for in that dust bowl called Crawford.

I am just amazed by her determination to bring needed attention to the fact that this war was unjust and to get some answers from this fool we call a leader!!!.

she has shown that one person can make a difference or at least bring attention and scare the heck out of the establishment....

Love ya Cindy, fight, fight, fight!!!!!

See ya Kids,

Love MargOH!

Monday, May 09, 2005

Martha's Tribute Crochet Circle

Hey Kids,

I'm very excited!! Wet , almost!!!!!

I have been invited to Rosie O'Donnels for a Knitting circle/party in tribute of our favorite felon Martha Stewart. I heard from Penny Marshall, who's flying in from LA just for the occasion, that Martha will be on Video phone and will supply the inmate chic pattern the very pattern that one of Martha's cell mates made for her that she was seen wearing getting on to her private jet to freedom.

I can't wait to talk to Rosie about her starring role as Vincent d'Onofrio in some movie called "Riding on the bus with my Sister". It was exciting to see Rosie busting her acting chops like that. Now i will tell you all about it when I get back.

Thanks Kids, MargOH!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

I'm back in business

Hey Kids,

Did ya miss me. I was so busy over the holidays that I have been dissin my blog.

My Christmas episode was filled with fun with my darling special guest Nellie Mckay playing her xmas favorite "Santa Baby" and then "What are you doing New Years Eve". Of course she was just lovely, I just adore little Nellie. I have to say she looked Fab in her 50's inspired frock. We also had my new friend and world renowned spokes model Hickory Thicket, we did an inspired dance to "Steam Heat", really shook out these old bones and those dance Lessons with Glenda(my super)really payed off.
The director of our show Jeff catlow also sang and he did a fabulous rendition of "I'll be home for xmas" accompanied by Jessie Kempf on Piano (Grandniece of Liberace), It was a gay affair for sure!!!.
I also sang with my cast "rockin around the xmas Tree" which was later dubbed in editing due to my powerful range.

Another fab happening was my guest appearance on "That's Kentertainment". Ken is a joy and we had a blast even though he seemed unaware that I was scheduled. I made my singing debut as we did a duet of "Baby, it's cold Outside". Though it was very warm, I think Ken and I have a heat between us and not to mention that sexy piano player David and that hunky cameraman. I almost thought it may turn into an outright orgy but somehow I was able to keep my professional wits about me and get the taping done still fully clothed. Thanks Ken, let's do it again......

I am about to go have lunch with Brigitte Nielson to discuss my upcoming show and see if I can get her and that little black man with the gold teeth to come on and tell us about their undying love for eachother. It is a bit scary but my show need just a touch more drama, ya think!!!

See ya Kids,

Love MargOH!