Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Mariah is all wet but "Shaking it off"

Hey Kids,

As all of you know I consult for many celebrities including but not limited to Ellen Degenerous, Doris Roberts, R. Kelley(if you think he came up with that "Closet" song idea,think twice), and my darling "Mimi" (that's Mariah Carey). This brings me to what today's blog is about... Taking my advice and overusing it.

The first example of this is that I told Ellen to do a little dancing at the beginning of her show and we all know how that got out of control.

However,I must tell you about the biggest abuser of my ideas and that is "Mimi"(that's Mariah carey).

Many years ago I was hired to consult on "Mimi's" video "Honey" where she was to be held captive and escapes on a 3 wheeler in spiked heels. Thanks to me that changed to Mariah breaking free and jumping off the balcony into the pool and then onto a Jet ski, the only thing that didn't change was the heels. I told Mariah that she should try to emulate a butterfly with dew on its wings. That girl has been wet ever since!!!

First there was the latest video "Shake it Off" where I had recommended that she lay upon a bed of roses with a cascade of butterflies flapping on her bosoms with a mega blast of wind for effect. Well, when I got there "Mimi" had ordered a tub and was filling it with water for her to splash around in. Now , again I love that girl but after I complained that she never takes my suggestions to heart she took a plunge into the tub for the shoot.

She was so eager to get into the tub that she created a cannonball effect and splashed water all over me and the crew. I at least made her go with the roses idea and threw a bunch of pedals all over her and they ended up sticking to her like glue(Okay so all of my idea's aren't perfect but I still get paid).

If you have seen the video you know it was as uncomfortable to shoot as it was to watch but what "Mimi" says goes. She filled the tub too much and at one point had to be rescued from a near drowning( I got wet again).

Secondly was my experience at the VMA's when I was drenched by Kelly Clarkson's performance but again this was all flamed by Mariah's eagerness to take a plunge in a pool. Mariah felt that if she should be wet that Kelly should be to and so on and so on. "Mimi" some of us who have to wear heavy make-up can't be wet all the time!!! Poor Kelly should think about Pro-active....

The thing is that she doesn't understand that no one wants to see her wet. We love a dry wind blown "Mimi" walking through a field of wheat.... Ah the "Vision of Love" days, how I long for the simpler and dry Mariah of yore.

Hopefully Mariah will take my word for it and really "Shake it off" for a dry 2006.



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