Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Kim Fung. Is she a Miracle Dog?

Hey Kids,

It's a very exciting day. Kim Fung, my pooch is 24 years old. She's been with me so long I sometimes forget about how old she actually is.

She has been a handful but I love her and she is a constant source of companionship. I saved that dog from the streets of Bangkok in 1983. She was just about the size of my hand at the time. I was doing a bit of shopping with Berna when I saw her wondering the streets. I scooped her up and put her in my handbag. I am sure someone would have made her into a stew if i hadn't grabbed her or maybe even a muff..who knows.

It is really a miracle she is still around since Berna has sat on her so many times but she's like a gumby. The vets are amazed at her flexibility. I think it's because I do at least one dance number with her every day. She can also handle her booze. She drinks every time I do at home. She loves Champers and a vodka and tonic.

Now don't get me wrong it's not all fun and games. Kim Fung is always trying to pick up the neighborhood dogs and she has a thing for Great Danes....mmmm just like Mama, she likes em big.

Its a joy to have a dog live for so long and I think Kim Fung is a miracle dog and I love her. She is the best!!

Happy Birthday Kim Fung

Monday, January 29, 2007

Thin as a Pussycat

Hey Kids,

I want to be as thin as a Pussycat....doll that is. I'm a fat girl and that's a fact but I am so wanting to be thin in 2007. I have all these vintage Halston's hanging in my closet that I can't get on anymore...without a shoe horn and some fish oil. Not the best smelling vintage.

I know its tuff so I have Cuchie preparing me only vegetables and green tea for 2 meals and 3 martini's at night with hoodia in it. I also took out the 5 olives I usually have in them. That's a start kids...Dontcha think?

I have moved up to the new pad and already have plans for an apartment warming party. I decided to take a small trip to get away and let Cuchie set everything up this weekend. Kim Fung and I are headed for a ski jaunt in Vermont with my new neighbor Linda Hunt. I was a bit shocked when Linda asked me but I said..What the hell! So I am off on Thursday!!

I'll be back kids!!



Thursday, January 25, 2007

Cartoon MargOH!

Hey Kids,

I just landed a role as a naked mole rat in an upcoming animated feature...It's a small role but my first speaking part in almost 20 years...very exciting. I wonder if they will make this mole rat look anything like me...mmmm that would be impossible.

Anyway, I must say I think I've got the winter blues...I haven't felt much like writing lately.

I think its because I do miss Mickey and dancin to the "Jitterbug" song.

I have to remember not to sleep with every man I meet but its hard...

I love when bodies get all hot and steamy and naked and sweaty and lipstick smeared on a _____. Oh jeez I lost it there for a minute.

Cuchie please get me a cool beverage and my body mist....Berna get the hell out of the way, she's sleeping on the floor now even though I put another bed in Cuchie's quarters.

Stoli is at her girlfriend Rachets apartment...yes i found out Stoli found out at Betty Ford that she likes the ladies...I don't blame her, I too like a nice set of knockers in my face once in a while. It's harmless fun for a couple of gals to get naked and have a little fun. Have we learned nothing from Melissa Ethridge.

Anywho, one of my readers sent me a little animated pic of MargOH! It's cute but I didn't realize how much I look like Demi Moore...

I'll be back kids and hopefully the blues will float away soon!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Happy Birthday Miss Kitt

Hey Kids,

My darlin and one of my favorite performers celebrated her 80th birthday last week.
The legendary Eartha Kitt.

I have had the pleasure to knock a few back with Eartha over the years and when I say there is no one better than she I mean it.

To see Eartha perform live is an out of body experience for MargOH! I have been lucky to see her perform in very intimate cabaret settings and there is nothing like it in the world.

She is 80 and looks, sounds and is gorgeous...

Miss Kitt will be playing Carnegie Hall in June and I'll be there... Get your tickets kids...

Here's to you Eartha!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, January 22, 2007

Bad Girl

Hey Kids,

I've been sorry for the lack of posts. I am moving from the 5th floor to the 6th floor in my current building. I have had it with Shirley Bassey playing "Goldfinger" 24/7 when she is in town...drives me nuts.

Now you won't believe who I'll be living next door to on the 6th floor....It almost like a dream come true. Linda Hunt, the academy award winner, moved in a few months ago. We've never met but I'm sure we will very soon...she's very petite but someone told me she's got a taste for Johnny Walker...How fun!!

Now I still have the whole party to fill you in on....I'll just say that Cuchie, berna and Stoli have been doing all the heavy lifting in this move...those bitches!!!

Also, I'll be doing a new photo shoot for my upcoming shows!!! They'll be hot

Kisses, MargOH!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Hot in the City

Hey Kids,

I'm back in old NY. The "Jitterbug" tour has come to an end and I'm glad. Honestly, being stuck on a bus with Mickey for another 2 months would have been torture.

I couldn't believe it but our Bus driver/Massage Therapist was also a "Jitterbug" spy. He was to make sure that Mickey and I were behaving in a Moral fashion to promote there big button cell phone.... Too funny but Garcia was the one who lowered my panties and massaged my unmentionables. he then went back to the "Jitterbug" people and said I had made sexual advances...bastard!!!

All water under the bridge kids and i got work lined up already. My agent Shecky got me a part in Nip/Tuck and then as a spokes model stint at an Antique car show. The latter is a bit suspect but hell Mama needs the cash!!

I'll be back with the details about the party that happened while I was away. I'll just say that Berna and Cuchie are still cleaning up the mess.

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Miss Piggy Replaces MargOH!

Hi Kids,

That's right!!!! I've been replaced by a pig..... Usually this would bother me
but since its the ultimate Pig Miss Piggy I'll let it slide.

I asked to be removed from the "Jitterbug" Tour though the rumor will be I was fired for having sex with Garcia the bus driver/Massage therapist...He did do happy endings, it's not my fault. I'll let you know about that asap.

We did have a great time in Miami and our JitterConga was fabulous...We sold almost 3, 000 "Jitterbugs"....yawza.

I did ask to be let go because of the goings on at my apartment, parties every night and Stoli is back from her stint at Betty ford but has already emptied out my Liquor cabinet. I will post about the big party this past weekend but I decided to take one more day in Miami to meet with Gloria Estefan for a sight seeing fun.

I was paid for my services thus far but it is far short of my six figure I need to get back to some serious extra work....I need to call Sally Field to see if she can get me something on that show she's ya Sally, cry for me Sally.

Anyway , I'll let you know when I get back if my apartment is still there, god only knows what happened...Gary Busey was back in the mix and so was Brigitte Neilson...oH Crap!!!

Here's a pic of Kim fung and Piggy before we left the "Jitterbug Bus".

Mickey isn't sure how he's gonna dance with that pig, I said put her on his shoulder and swing her around!!!

Who Knows...

Kisses, MargOH!

Friday, January 12, 2007

"The MargOH! Channing Show" Vintage clip w/Linda Simpson

Hey kids,

The "Jitterbug" tour is a bit slow so I've had all this time to edit and upload clips of my TV show. Many more to come!! This clip was with the only Drag Queen I could get to come one the show.

Her name is Linda Simpson and she is a true comedian and smart as a whip. Linda was
promoting her magazine "My Comrade". This clip is after the interview. We didn't realize Berna had kept the camera on...she's very sneaky, that Berna but sometimes these things make for good comedy.....

On a side note...I have been propositioned by at least 25 men over 60 for sex since I've been down here...They all wave their little blue pill bottles at me and offer me drinks....It's disgusting.....

Kisses, MargOH!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Only in Miami

Hey Kids,

Mickey and I arrived in Miami....I love palm tree's....they make me horny.

I had the most fabulous breakfast burrito this morning, just divine!! I love the vibe down here, like everything is on Latin heat.

I guess the Latin heat has gotten to the seniors in Florida though. I was looking up the East Ridge retirement village for the show and found this disturbing article from 2006.

STDs Running Rampant In Retirement Community

Seniors are bringing sexy back. Maybe I should have sponsored "Trojans". I'll have to call that condom company and see what they think.

It is true my mother Sully has more sex at the "Fish mongers" retirement home than she's had in her whole life, they don't use the little blue pill up in Alaska, just lots of cod liver oil...its good for the mojo...

Anyway, Garcia is about to give me my rub down before our rehearsal. It was really smart that "Jitterbug" hired a bus driver/massage therapist for the trip. I wonder if he will do a happy ending.....I'll let you know but I say he's only 26 so I'm sure he'll be game.

We got a hotel suite since we'll be in Miami for about a week. We have to go to the airport later because Jan Rooney is coming to stay for the Miami leg. Jan's nice but she can be a bit Pesky...I'll make sue i fill her up with rum and cokes...she's much nicer when she's drunk..

I'll be back...

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

MargOH! Channing Show w/Penny Arcade

Hey Kids,

I have lots of downtime on the "Jitterbug" bus so I've had time to upload some vintage MargOH! Channing Shows. This was my second show featuring the fabulous and
lovely legend Penny Arcade. I will post more soon!! Oh, god Mickey farted again, open the damn window....he's eating chili dogs now..Uggh

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Jitterbug Madness

Hey kids,

The "Jitterbug" tour made its second stop at the Ford Village in Rocky Mount North Carolina. Yes, that's right the Ford Family are in the community development game. I just can't seem to get away from the Ford Fever.

Anyway, we got to the clubhouse and this time it was "Jitterbug" Mayhem. There were about 2, 000 seniors waiting for Mickey and I. This time we did Mickey's number "Me and my Shadow"....I thought it was stupid but micks thought it was cute because he's so much shorter than me....its kind of obvious don't ya think....

Garcia, our bus driver is helping us with the next number, its in Miami. We're gonna do "Conga" by Gloria Estefan but replace "Jitter" for Conga. Garcia is helping us with our Latin beat. He says my hips move with the grace of a Carmen Miranda. I think I may get me some stuff....

It was a blast today and we sold 1,400 "Jitterbugs".. It was amazing. I'm really earning my 6 figures. That usually doesn't happen.

I am a bit sad because I am missing out on some fabulous extra roles. I got offers for 2 films with Paul Rudd and one for Charlize Theron but I had to pass. I did also get one stand in voice over for the "Geiko Gecko" but my Aussie accent sucks so I had to turn that down too....

I'll be home mid February...It's "Jitterbug" madness

I'll be back with hopefully more interesting posts

Kisses, MargOH!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Its "Jitterbug" Mayhem

Hey Kids,

Sorry its been a bit but the "Jitterbug Bus" has been having a few problems. The Internet keeps crapping out, 2 flat tires and a busted water hose. This is all very "Priscilla Queen of the desert" without the nice view. We're in a truck stop outside of Pigeon Forge Tennessee. Even my Jitterbug Phone isn't working.

We did hit the first retirement home but I'm wondering if this marketing blitz for the "Jitterbug" phone is hitting the right venue's. These people can't even pee for themselves. They're expecting them to use a cell phone. One lady who was 98 asked me to call President Roosevelt for her... I just told her he was busy and snapped into our "Wake me up before you go go" number with Mickey. He was a little stiff but his jig soon caught up to mine. We got a standing O but didn't sell any phones.

Now all the bus's crazy. Our next stop is a retirement village, not a home so hopefully they'll be an under 90 set.

Oh, Mickey just farted...he keeps eating pork and beans. I think he thinks we're camping...or something. Okay Micks, I'll tell everyone you said hi...Mickey says hi to you all.

Okay gotta run, the mechanic thinks he's got the bus going...One good thing our bus driver is a hottie. His name is Garcia....very hot!!

I'll be back kids

Kisses, MargOH!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Ford Fever

hey Kids,

I've been so busy with the "Jitterbug Tour" rehearsals with Mickey and a last minute invite to the hottest ticket in the country. I've been swamped!!

Yes, I was sent a last minute invite to Gerry Fords funeral by Betty. I am one of "The Betty Ford Clinic's" longest running customers. If I need a little tune up i just go and they admit me right away. I don't even pay anymore....I guess they feel that I paid so much in the past from my recurring addiction to booze that I'm exempt now! What they fail to understand is that I just like to drink and have no plans on stopping. The clinic is more of a place to see old friends and play Chinese checkers. The last time I went I hung out with Tatum O'Neal and Margot Kidder. It was like the "Bad news Bears" meets "Superman". Hey I guess it was!!! LOL.

Any who, I sat right next to Joan Collins at the funeral(also a secret Betty Ford Clinic Devotee). Her hair was bigger than I have ever seen....well it was a wig. Joan is as Bald as an eagle. I told her that she had some lint in her hair and I tugged on it just to make sure, yep it was horsehair alright!

It was a who's who of Washington's finest and Nancy Reagan. Nancy of course was trying to steal the spotlight from poor Betty....with her woe is me sunglasses...I miss Ronnie attitude....I heard she was dating her pool boy...she was always such a slut.

I got to meet Nancy Pelosi which was fun. I swear she bares a striking resemblance to a woman who co-starred in "Muff divers" with my sister Rita. She swore she's never done films but looked very nervous when I mentioned it. I am sure she will do a great job and she was very kind!!!

It was a long day and that speech Bush gave made me slump over asleep on Joan's shoulder.

After it was all said and done I thought to myself...

I wonder when I die if people will see me in a different light?

I boarded the Jitterbug bus and went to pick up Mickey at the airport and we're off to Dollywood land. I'll keep you updated.

Kisses, MargOH!