Wednesday, March 28, 2007

MargOH! Performs

Hey Kids,

No, not oral sex....A bit from my show....

I'll be posting the news from Nicky Knockers. She's back and has cracked the case of
Stoli and Stumpy Jones. It was a big surprise....

Enjoy the clip..

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Vintage footage of MargOH! as Fembot # 6

Hey Kids,

I was surfing You tube this morning and found this vintage footage of my work
in The Bionic Woman/ Six Million Dollar man. This was the Vegas episode.

I was gorgeous wasn't I....Well the face they put on me. They made a mold of my face so it looks almost like me. All those wires cut up my actual face though...

I also did that stunt jumping from the catwalk...I did all my own stunts in those days. It was a lot of fun. I loved kicking Lindsey's ass...


Kisses, MargOH!


Now you can see why I am the most decorated extra in the history of Motion Pictures and television. My ability to create emotion without saying a word is fantastic.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Cuchie's On her way out

Hey kids,

I was just getting over my Wiggles audition....I thought I was going to have to be put in traction. My back hurt so bad, I guess I did one to many high kicks. I spent the day at my chiro Dr. Wing Wong...he did nothing. I decided to take a couples days rest at "The Mandarin Oriental" in Lincoln square for some R&R. I thought it funny that my masseur's were named Robbie and Raul....mmmmm I am very relaxed.

I was relaxed til I got home after my late dinner with Shecky (Working on some new extra roles..)I couldn't believe it...the place was filled with South Americans...not that i don't love my Latin heat but really it was wall to wall chaos. Cuchie said she was having a Miss USA Party and doing dance numbers during commercial breaks... The place was a mess and so was that pageant, really they should just can that...

Listen, I love a party but when I realize that Cuchie has taken out every costume I own and is sweating all over them I take offence. She even did this Island voodoo number in the costume I wore for "The island of Dr Moreau"...It's ruined now, not to mention stretched out....horrible.

When Nicky Knockers gets back and tells me of Stoli's identity and if Berna is Innocent I'm taking her back. She is a handful but luckily can't fit into my clothes like Cuchie can.

She's outta here!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

MargOH!'s got "The Wiggles"

Hey Kids,

My agent Shecky Burns called me last week after over 2 months of silence. He was a bit upset with me about cutting "The Jitterbug" tour short...his fee was a bit less than he planned. I can understand his frustration but really he represents Kirsty Alley as well and she's like a cash cow at the moment. Oh! I forgot he only gets her TV or movie I guess she's not pulling anything in for him either...I wonder who's getting the Jenny Craig money???

Anyway, he calls and says that he got me an audition to be part of the dance ensemble for "The Wiggles" American tour. He seemed excited about it and I jotted down the date and time of the audition. he told me to prepare a tap and jazz #. I asked him the date again and it was for March yesterday. This gave me only 5 days to prepare plus i was meeting Tippi for drinks.

I said fine and started to prepare a number. I put on my jazz shoes and my vintage Danskin...had a bit of dust on it...Dustbuster time.

I put on some music..."Boogie woogie Bugle boy" of course. Then I thought as I poured myself a glass of champagne...Who in the hell are "The Wiggles". I asked Cuchie and she said she thought they were a girl group like "The Pussycat Dolls"....
Tap and Jazz for a girl group... not sure about that. I then called Linda and she told me they were a group from Australia...she said it was a male group like Il Divo. Well that sounded more sensible so I put together my little number..I was hot, step ball change to whirly birds...just grand.

Well yesterday I get up to Ripley Grier and the line was long. I noticed there were a lot of kids running around dragging their mothers screaming "I want to be a Wiggle". One brat ran by me and rubbed her Hershey bar right across my Danskin making me look like I had a skid mark. So I tripped her and she fell to the floor. Her mother said "Well I never, how dare you". I said I doubt anyone will ever dare to"...very old school but fuck her Mama needs some cash.

About an hour goes by and some wreck screams out..."We'll see the over 50's now". Talk about a kennel club...I was the only one that looked younger than 50, yikes. I was sure I was a shoe in.

We get in the room and I see these 4 guys and 2 gals at a table. The guys were in all different color sweatshirts and they jumped up and said.."Okay kids were gonna show you "The Wiggle Dance". I quickly realized these 4 were the biggest queens I'd ever seen , I mean like as gay as Paul Lynde. Then I realized this bunch a queens were doing this for a kiddie show. MargOH! in a Kiddy show....I'm not sure but I figured what the hell.

We were instructed to follow them so my number was not needed. I dipped into my bag a took a swig of my nip of Southern Comfort(still nursing that cold). I got in position and busted a move. I was fabulous, high kicks, a couple of spins and a very gay electric slide...It was perfection.

Then all of a sudden one of "The Wiggles" yells out. "You there, this isn't a solo piece"...It's a "Wiggles" piece old gal.

I said.."Who you calling an old gal you silly queen". He then snapped at me "I'm married" and he throws his hand in my face then they all chimed in "We're all Married".

I said listen, it's okay boys I wont tell and I love gays...They make the world go round...

Then one of the broads in the back says. "You know I think we decided to get rid of the oldsters act" . They then dismissed us all and one of the over 50's kicked me in the ankle and told me I ruined it by bringing up the gay card. They're very touchy about it...

Another job lost. I didn't mean anything but honestly MargoH! in a kids show could have been fun.

Then I thought how come all these parents are flocking around these obviously queeny guys to make money .Then there it was a woman with a pin on her bag saying "Marriage= Man + Woman".

How pathetic....

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, March 19, 2007

MargoH!'s New Show dates

Hey kids,

Cuchie just booked my new show dates....She did a quick promo...She's so much more savvy than Berna on the computer...Not the final one but a good first try.

I of course planned them in the very gay month of June for all of my gays to celebrate pride....another reason to drink...

I am meeting with my new fashion guru for the costumes...they'll be hot!

Kisses, MargOH!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

The St. Patricks Day Massacre

Hey Kids,

I've been under the weather, sore throat and stuffed up nose..even my apricot Brandy is no help whatsoever....

Ya know when you say things couldn't get worse, well they can....

On St Patty's day I was suppose to meet Tippi Hedren out at Molly's for some old fashion's. I sometimes donate to her wild animal retreat, a few bucks. She was in town with Melanie because she's trying to land a part in "Spring Awakening". They told her that she was too old for any of the parts but she's not taking no for an answer...I guess she had another face lift and is trying to pass for 20 again....she wasn't even 20 when she did "Working girl".

Anyway, I was getting my stuff together when I get a call from Nicky Knockers who says she has unraveled the mystery of Stumpy and Stoli Jones. I was shocked she was back so soon but couldn't wait to hear what she found out. Then Nicky said Berna is completely innocent . I told her to keep it to herself until I saw her, Berna Innocent...I couldn't believe it!!.. She has denied any wrong doing but I don't buy it!

Nicky said she'd be back in a day or so. She was still interviewing Stumpy's sister in Missouri.

Crap, I thought she was in NY...

Anyway, I hung up with her and ran out the door to meet Tippi. It was cold as hell but I noticed that there were a lot of birds overhead, all sorts of birds...pigeons, crows, chickadee's and hawks... I wasn't sure what the hell was going on...I turned the corner to Molly's and There's Tippi looking horrified. She grabbed me and pushed passed the crowd to get inside.

She then says...Did you see all those's happening again!

I said yes, I saw them but there was a hunk of corned beef on the sidewalk....

No, no it's happening again, the birds...they're following me again because I'm old.

No, Tippi calm down...Bar keep "Old Fashion for Tippi"..

She grasped the glass and swug it down...That's better. "Oh God, look there pounding on the glass"

I looked over and the crowd outside were being attacked by birds at every angle. Trying to get in but Tippi barricaded the door...."Not the Birds she screamed".

I said get the hell out of the way...It was a movie for god sake...I ran out and dropped to the ground as to not get pecked in the face. There it was a full corned beef on the sidewalk so I grabbed it and chucked it into the street and with it went the birds...

When I got up there was bloody Irish folk all over the place. It was awful.....Irish people can be so sloppy especially on St. Patty's day...

I went back inside and Tippi was singing "It's a great day for the Irish" at the piano. I guess that "Old Fashion" hit her quick...

I joined in and we made like 75 bucks in tips...It was fun....

Well except for the 10 or so maimed people outside waiting to get in...for them it was a St. Patrick's day massacre....

I'll let you know what Nicky Knockers says...

Oh, yeah Tippi is getting me a role on "Fashion House"....very exciting!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Frustration Nation

Hey Kids,

It's hard to keep your head above water at times. It's not easy to get your
vision out there. I sometimes wonder "where" there is....

MargOH! is not the type of girl to give up and I won't but lately I've grown frustrated by frustration. I do or never will profess that I'm a genius in anything I do but I do sometimes think my work deserves a shot....

I knew 2007 was going to be my time to get out a part of whatever there is to be had. This comes off a year where I had 3 successful cabaret shows with little to no advertisement. Not that I didn't kits to HX, Next, Time Out and Edge...Thanks Edge for listing my shows... I appreciate it!

Don't get me wrong I do not think I deserve any special treatment. My issue about being in NY is that though it claims to be a flourishing scene....It's really churning the same performers doing the same thing 10 different ways...The one or two promoters who can't see out of the scene that they are in to take a look around. Troublesome I say...

It's March kids an I've gotten out...I've shot emails to see about popping into a show with not even a reply....mmm even though they say "we are looking for unique performers for spoken word, dance....etc. etc." It's all a mystery to me????

I don't give a shit in the long run and will do my shows quietly if I must...Cuchie already booked my June cabaret's..I'll update you on that kids......

MargOH!'s frustrated, not sexually....I can get any man I want and do....It's more of an artistic frustration....

Like Liza's says "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere".... right now anywhere is looking a lot better than here...

Kisses, MargOH!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

American Idol Tragedy

Hey Kids,

Yes, from time to time Berna, myself and Cuchie huddle around the TV to watch American Idol. Even Linda Hunt and Polly Holiday joined us last night. It was a real booze fest. It was all in anticipation of Diana Ross being an Idol mentor. I couldn't believe a star of her magnitude was going to do this show.

I had 2 cases of Champers delivered and some snacks. I was dying to hear Miss Ross
tear into those kids but to my surprise she was quite kind and loving....Could have knocked me over...

Anyway, that was the only good thing about the show. I've never seen songs butchered like that before. "Love Hangover" gave me one..."Endless love" was an endless bore and "You can't hurry love" couldn't get a note.

Now, MargOH! loves a good singer and admires them to the fullest and that one girl who sang "Home" from The Wiz was great. Cheers to her but I'm sorry but that version of "God Bless the Child" was a mess....Billie's flower must have wilted during that.

By contestant # 4 we were all tanked and really just laughing at Paula...I think she had a few before they went live....Atta girl!

Well we got through the two hours but discussed it two hours after and decided that American Idol is an American Tragedy. It fills the mind with mediocrity that leads to nothing learned. I'm sure these kids all mean well and are lovely but they are caught up in this machine called capitalism....and they'll never be the same...'

Instant fame is not the way to go.

Hard work and trials are the only way to go. I hope Miss Ross told them that...Oh yeah...I forgot she's schilling her New CD...

After last night...I'll never be the same...I'll drink even more.

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, March 12, 2007

Sick and Twisted, I love it.

Hey kids,

Since I've been doing my blog I get all sorts of emails and requests etc.

I do, like most blogs, track my site for traffic and see how many people are reading etc. Yes, it's a bit of an ego booster when things are going well but can be hell when you know that your readership has fallen off.

I have ebbs and flows....Like July of last year was gang busters but February 07 was a low point at a 50% drop....yawza!!!

I try not to look at the tracking too often but usually check in once or twice a month. The one nifty addition to the tracking I have is that you can see how individual hits find me in a search.

The other day I had the funniest and most wonderful hit from this search. racket handle used as impromptu dildo.

Now, I'm not sure what I've written in the past pertaining to a Tennis Handle dildo? I've never actually tried this but I guess if your in a pinch....I would neglect using a wooden racket though....ya think. Ouch Splinters!!

Well any who i thought you'd all get a kick out of that one!!!

And please fess up you UK person who's looking for nifty ways to have an orgasm...I think you should ask Virginia Wade if she ever had any luck with her racket!

Kisses, MargOH!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

MargOH!'s Global Warming Nightmare

Hey Kids,

Yes, Al Gore has really stuck it to me. He's opened my eyes to the Global Warming nightmare. I have thrown out all of my Aqua Net. This may not seem like much but if you saw my hair before I shaved was sad!!!

Now I read this article that the grapes in Italy are being destroyed....I can't take much more of this. This is an international tragedy of Epic Proportions. I use Chianti to make my Sangria....Yes, sure I can use other reds but my recipe is like gold to me. I can't change now!!!

When good wine is in danger it's time to act...I am going to come up with a MargOH! driven Global Warming group. Keep your eyes open...

Wine makes the world..well at least MargOH! go around!!!

Check out the article Kids.

Kisses, MargOH!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Me and Nicky Knockers

Hey kids,

I've hired an investigator to look into Berna's dealings as far as Stoli(my alleged daughter) goes. I firmly believe that Berna(my former wardrobe mistress) is the birth mother of twins. She is ruthless and if true I'm going to kill her. I knew I couldn't have given birth, tight as a whistle I am and not a stretch mark in sight.

I've hired an old friend of my sister Rita, Nicky Knockers. She is an ex-dancer gone private eye. I met with her at a dark and dreary bar. It was all very "Night Stalker". She even wore a trench coat, a cap and sunglasses. Very Old school.

She gathered the information I had and is on her way to Bangkok to find out more details and also look for the whereabouts of the other child. Hopefully the other child will be nicer than Stoli, what a freaking nightmare. She drinks all my booze then goes to Bungalow 8. The other night she came home with some New Jersey 18 year old..I told her no bridge and tunnel freaks. i gotta get her another job. I think I'll call Rosie again to see if they'll give her a second chance as a PA on "The View"...She did audition for "All my Children" but then they found out she had been a fluffer for some porn films and told her to get lost. Please, how soon they forget about Susan Lucci's past....I could ruin her.

Any who, I feel confident that Nicky Knockers will solve this case. Who can do a better job than an ex porn actress, Stripper and call girl....They Know how to get down and dirty.

I'll keep you updated.

Motherhood is a burden...

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Ann Coulter is a Whore

Hey Kids,

I see the woman I love to hate is at it again.

When I think of Ann the first word that comes to mind is "Whore".

Second is skanky and thirdly Maggot.

So I guess that makes Ann a Skanky Maggot Whore!

How perfect....

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Myspace is your space

Hey Kids,

I don't ever think I mentioned that I have a myspace page...well 2 now. I am currently recording some covers and original songs for upcoming shows that I will
be doing.

If you are on myspace, check out my page kids...I'll be keeping up with those pages as well as my blog.

It's been rough lately keeping up with the blog. I love sharing all of my stories with you.

I've been running a little cold about my work as of late. I think it's the winter blues....

I'm feeling a bit "GLADD" I's the lyrics of Nellie's song that I love

It's been a long time coming
But I know you are the one
Here at home at last the days have ceased

It's been a long time coming
And I know we've just begun
All the pain has passed and there is peace

If the breath was warm and tender
Now the breath becomes a yawn
And I've been returned to sender
And I'm better since I'm gone…

It's been a long time coming
But I know you are the one
Here with time erased I'm at my best

It's been a long time coming
And I know we've just begun
Without a pretty face I can just rest

But the march is still ongoing
I can hear the drummers' roll
And it can't show signs of slowing
It is true, dear, it's my soul…

It's been a long time coming
But I know you are the one
Here at home at last the days have ceased

It's been a long time coming
And I know we've just begun
All the pain has passed and there is peace.

Check out my myspace's a hoot

Kisses, MargOH!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

MargOH! goes Britney

Hey Kids,

I got a little out of control with the buzzers the other night after going to the Glammy's (NYC Drag Awards). It was a fun Party but not being nominated again really made me a bit crazy I think. I figured if it worked for shed her anger it should work for MargOH!...Luckily I hired a photographer to catch all of this...

All it did was make me wish I had my hair back. I'm going to have to bring back the Turbin I guess...

Here's a few before and after pics of "The Glammy" evening.

Kisses, MargOH!

Go Britney Go