Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Cookin out with Beck

Hi Kids,

I hope you all had a great holiday weekend..

I did as I was invited to Beck's apartment for a rooftop soiree. Yes, the singer Beck.. Kids don't forget that MargOH! moves in many circles..

It was a fun night and there were may celebs there as well but we had to sign a confidentiality agreement to get in so I can't divulge much...

I was surprised at the number of chubby girls there though but somone told me Beck loves a lady with a little meat on her. It must be he's so thin that he craves fat!!

The food was okay seeing most of it was vegan... I did create a bit of a stir when i walked in with a tray of Lobster salad... Edward furlong almost tackled me and fell right off the roof. Thank goodness Marty Tyler Moore wasn't there or I would have been skinned alive.. its just that Lobster gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling of home, I am a fighmongers daughter afterall!!! I still remember Sully slicing into those live lobsters... Oh! now I realize why people get upset... killed alive..but its so tasty.. anyway

There is nothing like a rooftop cook out in NYC, it's very chic and a bit dangerous. I tripped over a dice that Jack black was shooting craps with and nearly broke my heel. I ended up spending most of the evening talking with Will Wikle.. He's a gay from a show on Logo. He's really inter.. well actually a real bore but he just wouldn't shut up and he kept saying "Hi, I'm Will Wikle" as people passed by looking confused.. He did have the only bottle of Kettle one so I didn't want to stray too far...

Oh crap i gotta go. Berna has set me up with a dance class to practice my high kicks..

I'll have to continue later, Oh honestly, it wasn't that fun of a party, sorry Kids.
Becks a little cute thing but he needs a little party planner!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Play it again Hugh

Hey Kids,

Does anyone else think it's best that Hugh Hefner go into exile, never to be seen again.

Kisses, MargOH!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

When I'm Searched Top 5

Hey Kids,

Since Berna's been tracking my blog she has come to the conclusion that most that read my blog are perverts, drunks and gays. This little hobby of Berna's keeps her occupied all hours of the day.. no wonder I had to step over my pooch Kim Fungs crap in the hall yesterday. Berna is so lazy.

Anyway Berna has come up with the top 5 list of what people search for... then find
Margarita's, Mojito's and Martini's... My life story

1. Thongs (I much prefer them as a slingshot so I can pelt Berna with peanuts)
2. Mojito's (My favorite Drink)
3. Nellie McKay (My darling Nellie)
4. Glenda the Super (Now this one baffles me)
5. Old Drunk (They must be looking for Dame Edna)

And last but not least I have a hit just today by "The Melbourne City Council".

The last time I saw Dame Edna Everage she said she was going to recommend me for the city council. I had no idea what she was talking about. Talk about an old Drunk!!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Tinkling for Me

Hey Kids,

Now I am not getting into water sports... you all have filthy minds...

I actually have a new Piano player for my upcoming show. I know, I know, "The Show"
it seems it's all I talk about and do lately.... It's just that when MargOH! does something she throws her whole body into it.. If i'm drinking a Martini I have to look perfect drinking it. If i get hired to do an extra role i make sure I am seen and annoy everyone... I am a pro and this show is important to little old MargOH!...
So bite it!!!!!... LOL Just kidding

Anyway my original Piano gal Jessie was called away on a covert secret operation having to do with global warming... mmmmm I wonder if she may be warming up to Al Gore... Anyway my darling Jessie had to drop out so I had to find a replacement which is hard to do because she is wonderful.

Berna and I held auditions and we fell right into a trance with our Choice Jarad Astin. He is a Hep Kat kind of guy with a blues and Jazz style. I like him!!!

He's not bad on the eyes if ya know what I mean!!!!

I am very excited to have him on board and he has already bonded with berna. i won't go into any more detail on that... I do think he lends a bit of Edge to my show and latley I'm feeling Edgy.....

I put a little link so you can check out Jarad's CueZone records.

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Show promo

Hey Kids,

Working on my show Promo. Berna threw this one together and I think it's edgy.

Edgy for a 58 year old gal... Yes, I turned 58... I'm sick over it but ya know I look damn good for 58.. My tits are still firmly sagging... I only have had to have minor cosmetic procedures... No Joan Rivers moments for me yet... I still do my heavy lifting..... Martini Glasses are heavy these days ya know...and I still am quite active in every sense of the word...

I met this lovely 20 something on Saturday on my way to the bathroom at my birthday dinner and we had a little encounter over the sink, just lovely... well anyway i'm getting off track.

Here's the Promo...Berna's gotta work on the font, its a bit small...

And she can't spell, the poor dear but her gastric bypass makes her a little dizzy sometimes due to the lack of protein. I'm constantly having to prop her up against the shelves at Trader Joes wine shop

Kisses, MargOH!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Maxim for the Minimum

Hey Kids,

I went to the Maxim party the other night and it was... A mess.

I've never seen so many scantily clad babes and Horny D list Men in my Life.

I went with Sally Kirkland... We almost didn't get in but Sally flashed her saggy boob and told security to go fuck themselves as she screamed " I am an academy Award Nominee so get the fuck out of our Way"... Very Scary.

I am running out for a birthday lunch with Mindy Cohn. She is so sweet for taking me out.

This is a long story about Maxim and Mindy is ringing the Bell so I am off. "Berna get my rain gear, it's a pouring out"

Be back with the Maxim report.

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Dinner with Chris Daughtry

Hey Kids,

I was out and about on Sunday and had a nosh at Spice market after I landed from the spa and the place was completely a buzz.

I was with Berna and Kid Rock's niece Pesky Ricketts. Pesky helps me from time to time with my PR but I think I'm dropping her because now she only has 3 teeth left. She did a lot for old Kid but now only has a few Little people and me as clients.

Well anyway, the place was nuts, people bending their necks to look at someone so of course I had to check it out. Pesky said "It's Chris Daughtry from Idol". He must be looking for PR. She started to run to the table so I ran after her and grabbed her by the arm and she tripped right into a waiter and threw me right into his booth. I actually bounced right into his lap.

I of course coped a feel of his crotch in order to get myself up. "Chris I am so sorry", I said. "She was about to bother you about PR matters". He was very gracious but looked at me very strangely, almost like he knew me. "MargOH!", he said. "Yes, doll, I'm MargOH! Channing". I was a bit perplexed.

Chris went on to tell me how He got a whole bunch of naughty cards from me over the past few weeks, fan mail... I was baffled because I had no idea what he was talking about. He said , "Yeah I will never forget the handful of support you let me see". "I really appreciate it", he added.

He asked if I would like to join him for Dinner but we had been called to our table so I politely excused myself and gave him a peck on the cheek. He added " I loved you as Dusty Lady in "Alexander". " You are so nice Chris,thank you, doll", I added

I rushed away and grabbed berna by the boob and said. " What in the hell did you do"?

Of course she replied with, "Well I was a little bored when I was recovering and took some pics of you in the shower and nude in bed. " I decided to send them to Chris for some inspiration Maggie".

"I ought to get rid of you as well as Pesky, He's a married man". Not that that has stopped me before. "You should have told me so I wouldn't have been off guard, he said he liked my tits", I added.

"Berna you're gonna get it"....

Oh Crap, that's right. No reason to watch Idol now with those contestants left, yuk...I guess Elliot is the best one left...

Kisses, MargOH!

Friday, May 12, 2006

It's Happened

Hey Kids,

I did have a bit of a breakdown so I actually flew the coop this morning and headed out to Palm Springs for some R&R.

I as you know am having living arrangement issues and am currently planning to stay at Robin Byrd. Berna is moving as I type but I let her handle that.

I also am having other issues with chakra's. Things are not lining up right now. It seems as if everyone is letting MargoH! down right now. I can't get into specifics but my management of things seems to be spinning out of control. It's not like I ask for much....or is it? mmmm

I figured it must be because my birthday is fast approaching and so is 60. I am following right behind Cher, Liza, Suzanne Somers, its not easy to be gorgeous at 50 something but I do try anyway.

I thought it best to dry out in the Desert rather than go for the Extra dry Gin. I will have champagne though. I ordered a fountain from the spa so i won't have to worry about opening bottles. I decided to take the pooch Kim Fung with me. I hope she can lend some faithful support.

"Please miss can't you see I'm typing", "I'll have a stoli martini-up extra dirty and some cashews".

These stewards are so pesky, unless I want a drink at 30 thousand feet....

Okay, well gotta go. I just saw Leslie Gore. She owes me a few bucks from a poker game at Connie Francis's a few months ago.... She better pay up!!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

MargOH!'s Headed for a Breakdown

Hey Kids,

It's as simple as that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A Breakdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I ruined it for David Blaine

Hey Kids,

Berna and I high tailed it up to Lincoln center to see David Blaine try to hold his breath for nine minutes.

I really just wanted to see his hot body very wet. I mean really would anyone care if he weren't so damn sexy, yawza...

Well when we got up there I started selling dirty martini's outof my portable suitcase bar that was owned by Elvis. Lisa Marie gave it to me many years ago for a favor I did for her, thats another story all together. Anyway I was only charging 5 bucks a drink so they were selling like hotcakes.. made 80 bucks.... I of course was sampling my wares and got a little tipsy and faught through the crowd to get a look. I was amazed by the fishbowl and also my reflection off of it was gorgeous.

I waved to David and he spotted me. I could see it in his eyes and he gave a little wave. The moment was coming for him to hold his breath and it got very tense. The crowd also got pissed I shut down the bar.

I decided to give David a little inspiration and lifted my shirt at about the 6 minute 30 second mark and he got very excited. Thats when he lost it and all the bubbles started coming out. He couldn't control his lust for me I guess.

I feel bad, well not really. I sent him a sympathy card this morning and wished him better luck next time.

I hope I didn't ruin his trick with my perky bossoms!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Off to a fitting

Hey Kids,

I just got back from GG's wedding and she looked gorgeous... She is a gorgeous woman. She reminds me of myself at that age less 30 pounds.

I actually got misty during the ceremony...until I got to my table and met the most fabulous boy, Jeremy... my waiter. he was serving more than salad if you know what I mean. Those Long Island boys all want to br Gotti's and wanna give it to MargOH! The bathrooms were perfect for doing bad things, completely enclosed stalls. Jeremy made my day and all in about 12 minutes. He grabbed a few things off the fruit cart to help things along. I think you know where this is going so I will spare you any more details.

I am off to a fitting for a new costume with some new fabulous FIT student who makes fabulous things out of rare materials. I can't wait to see what he throws together. he said something about coke cans and vodka bottles.... We'll see

Love ya kids....

Kisses, MargOH!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

MargOH!'s off to a Wedding

Hey Kids,

My shot girl "GG" is getting hitched this weekend so I am off to Long Island for the weekend to share in her happiness.

It brings back memories of when Rodney and I tied the knot. It was a glorious day in LA at the JP.. Though we had to get permission from the State of Kansas and his parents to wed, he was only 13 at the time. It was all very innocent, I was more like a live in Baby sitter. When he turned 17 however things started to get hot. It was only a 5 year marriage but it was fun.

I decided after that I would never Marry again because I was well such a slut. I knew a conventional marriage was not for MargOH! I need to sample all the puddings before I commit if you know what I mean. I swear I've kept Kozy Shack and Trojan in business.

I do get a bit misty for others that can make that sacrifice. To know you will only see one more wanker is a bit sad but I guess if it will satisfy you then hell go for it...

I am looking forward to the special drink I came up with for the rehearsal dinner called the "GG Slide". It is a base of champagne with a splash cinnamon schnapps and a sugar cube, very refreshing....It heats up the tongue but leaves a sweet after taste....mmm. I think I have had that sensation in my mouth before but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Congrats to my Shot girl "GG"

Keep the booze flowing girl... I love ya.

Kisses, The Big M

Monday, May 01, 2006

Trader Joes Update

Hey Kids,

I can't believe it but after 2 months I made it into Trader Joes, aaah.... no big whoop.

More importantly the Trader Joe Wine Shop finally opened. It is a like a gift from the baby Jesus. I feel like he has finally done something for me in the form of $2.99 bottles of Chardonnay. I am not one to turn my back on expensive booze. I will pay top dollar for my libations but 2.99 kids is a steal and it's not half bad. Chalk one up for Trader Joes.

They do have a few moderatly priced wines as well for show but you should have seen all the bug eyed NYU students filling up their carts. Strike up another one for Trader Joes for putting the store underneath a dorm, good marketing.....

Get to Trader Joes Wine shop before I buy it all up!!!!