Monday, July 31, 2006

Its sizzlin

Hey Kids,

It's been so hot my breasts are sagging..... I love the heat but when itstarts messing with the girls firmness It is an issue, LOL. Berna get my ice bath ready. I need to be Perky



Friday, July 28, 2006

Going to the Chapel...Maybe

Hey Kids,

I can't believe it but last night I was proposed to. Yes, its true I was asked to be married for the 52nd time. I only accepted 16 and only 2 made it to the actual JP. I don't do altars....One was annulled the first thing in the morning, I couldn't really stay married to Fidel, I just wanted to see what he was made of.. If you know what I mean.. Refer to my blog "Memories of Fidel". I didn't tell all in that story but I never really tell everything that goes on, if I did Little "Beck" would be in big trouble after what went on at his party, yikes.

I haven't given my answer yet so I can't divulge who has asked. I was actually shocked and spilt my Blueberry Frozen Margarita all over my new white blouse, damn. I loved that blouse... I hope Chung from Chung Chings dry cleaners can get it out. I paid a huge sum for that shirt at Forever 21, I think like 18.99, crap. The blueberry Margarita was fantastic by the way, just the right tartness/sweetness factor mixed with Jose quervo, yummy...I had 7 of them, talk about brain freeze.

Maybe it was the brain freeze that made me sit in shock over the proposal, not that I don't care for the asker and I am gorgeous, sexy, adventurous,have great tits, gorgeous, sweet as pie, not a bad ass either. I guess my shock was that I thought he was gay, well he is gay... I'm just happy to have been asked and requested a 48 hour window to say yes or no...If I say yes I want it to be a very long engagement, at least 2 years... A girls gotta build in a little time to play the field before that ceremony, c'mon people.

Gotta run, I'm having coffee with Jennifer Tilly , she's in town for a bit and she is coaching me on my upcoming role in the "Dallas" movie and I'm also getting a role in the next Chucky film , how fun...

I'll update you all on my answer....

Kisses, MargOH!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Danny Boy's coming

Hey Kids,

Very exciting news, this week I will be meeting one of my blogger friends Danny Boy.

This will be my first meeting in person of any blogger in the world that reads mine. I must say I'm excited but not quite sure what to wear. I know Danny is a gay so there is no need to be overly sexy... Though MargOH! has been able to convert a few of the gays for one night stands... And even sometimes 2 night stands, ya know the usuals , Peter Allen, Paul Williams, Charles Nelson Reilly, Rip Taylor, Neil Sedaka(Please he's a fag)but what a nice set a balls on him, Kevin Spacey (before he became anyone), Ann Heche (before Ellen, what a slut), Linda dano (in the 70's, we were stoned, she's actually straight), Luther Vandross (now that he's gone I can spill the beans, I think he banged Oprah too)... The list goes on and on...

I am just torn, should I be shabby chic or play a sophisticated suit...Should I shave my legs, well it is a special occasion... God what to do. I guess I'll run to "Forever 21" and get something way to young for me... I think I'll get something that matches a dirty martini...

I know Danny and Donnan won't care what I wear but it's always nice to shed a little glamour on the gays.

Any idea's Kids?

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Warning-What Botox can do

Hey Kids,

Berna ans I caught some of the Miss Universe Pageant... well I had a little too much Saki and was just out of it.

Anyway they decided to throw Carson Kressley in the Mix... Oh Lord... You know how Maggie loves Carson....On my list for one of "The Most Annoying Gays of 2005".

The Pics say it all but this is why I stick to icewater face baths like Joan Crawford to keep the wrinkles away for the day..

Poor Carson...He's even given the TV botox waves

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mariah and the TAIL of the Daisy duke's

Hey Kids,

You all know I have done some consulting for the darling Mariah Carey in the past.

This is why I was dismayed with these pics from her performance in Duri.

I've told Mariah in the past that she should be a bit more sophisticated and for the most part she has taken my advice and I love her for it. She still loves to get wet in all her videos and some live performances, jumping in pools , splashing in tubs, etc. but Mariah honey, Daisey Dukes...

I of course got on the phone to a few of my Mariah contacts and they said that she's been working with Carson Kressley as of late on her tour wardrobe, obviously a huge mistake.

Mariah come back to me baby... Auntie MargOH! can help you, its not to late to overcome

"The Tail of the Daisey Dukes"

Kisses, MargOH!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Meetin up w/ Jason & deMarco

Hey Kids,

I was watching Logo last week, ya know the gay channel that bleeps out words like cock, bumfun, blow jobs, pussy, and even dildo... jeez they are very sensitive at Logo.

Anyway I was watching the "clicklist" , videos that is and I set my eyes upon somewhat of a gorgeous trainwreck called Jason & deMarco. They were like Hanson, less one. They were caressing and touching eachother and singing a sexy duet together.. It was very strange so I had Berna look them up. Who knew? They've been around for a while and I had this instant urge to meet them... I needed there squeaky clean image rubbed all over me. Then again,if anyone could turn them into dirty scoundrels it would be me, right Kids?

Actually I have been working on a new song, well the re-working of the classic "Coal Miners Daughter". I of course am making it "Fish Mongers Daughter" to use in one of my upcoming shows. I felt like I needed to give it more of a pop feel so I thought they would be perfect to collaborate with. They obviously know how to work a cheesy pop song and they're oh so cute....

The bio's on their website just says it all, Jason a Pentecostal Christian and demarco just a gay Canadian say that when they sing together they are magic. I need a little magic I told Berna so I had her ring their people. Well when she called Jason himself answered the phone, how Christian and down to earth is that, he answers his own calls... I of course rushed to the phone spilling my 10 am Dirty martini all over my new teddy... Damn.

Jason was very pleasant and was more than willing to help me.... For a pretty penny that is. I couldn't believe what they were asking for a little consult. See what happens when your mothers of the music ministry, they'll suck you dry and thank Jesus at the same time.. I always thank Dr. Beefeater for all my success.

Anyhow, I eventually worked them down to a fee I thought reasonable, a case of Mumms and a bottle of Berna's homemade Cognac. That Christian is hot for the booze.

So I am excited to say that I will be doing a consult with Jason & deMarco, very exciting. I am just gay with anticipation. I'll let you know how it goes....


The Big M

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Madonna Medley

Hey Kids,

I am happy to say that the old gal Madonna was just fab last night. I went with Sally Kirkland, big mistake... We couldn't get backstage...I swear I have to remember the next time that everyone is afraid of Sally. I'm not sure why, though she is a sturdy gal, she's sweet as pie.

I could have went with Kelly Osbourne but she cancelled last minute. She got her lip ring caught on a can of Budweiser and ripped her lip open... Poor thing.

Anyway, though I wasn't able to return Maddy's bracelet and ask her why she burnt down my 25 seat , cabaret, Bordello, escort service back in 2001... It's not my fault I didn't serve Pad Thai and it's not my fault Berna told her "We don't sell food here, just pussy". She is a diva and can get very testy about these things..

I was inspired however by Madonna's dancing, she's really keeping it up and being very acrobatic at her age, she must be taking pole dancing lessons too. Though half way through the show I started to wonder how I could bring some Madonna into my show and when she played a fast video montage of all her videos it hit me.. A Madonna Medley... How fun

I'm going to drag my director in on this one and we are going to a Madonna Medley, I can't wait, it will be grand.

Oh, yes, I scheduled my next shows September 14 and 22nd at 7PM at the D-Lounge at the Daryl Roth Theatre, very exciting. I may have my darling Nellie as a guest for one but have to nail down a confirmation on that... I'll keep you posted.

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Newport news

Hey Kids,

It was a fun weekend as Berna and I stomped up to Newport to meet with Billie Jean.

Oh, what a gorgeous weekend and Newport is grand. I was mixing with the tennis elite, like Gabby Sabatini, Pat Rafter, and Tony Trabert... Patrick is hot stuff, let me tell you and he even gave MargOH! a tip on her serve, how sweet. I really have a crush on that mate... It was hot but I was hotter. Unfortunatly it was Tony Trabert that was giving me attention, he's a lovely man but big as a house.. I don't mind a man of a certain age getting frisky and having a few extra pounds but when your fingers look like spicy sausage, its a little bit of a turn off...

Anyway I declined Billie Jeans offer to be the spokes model for her fitness center. She was offering peanuts... Well Elton John. She offered me a free concert with Sir Elton. I want a free concert with Mr. Washington in the form of a six figure deal. Elton John, really. I may have considered that when he was fabulous but not now, Lestat, Please....

I told Billie you could have Elton be her body double... then I thought you two should be opening a rib joint or fast food chain with those thighs, yikes..

Billie got pissed and threw her raquet at me in a fury but Gabriela stepped in and told Billie should could lose a few pounds, thanks gabby.

For some reason Berna and I were escorted off the grounds of the "Tennis Hall of fame". I guess you don't mess with Billie....

It was fine because Gabby and Patrick came out after us and they took us out to "The Black Pearl" for a pint and of course i had a extra dirty martini... Thanks Patrick and Gabby.. You are the best....

Kisses, MargOH!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Billie Jean King Fitness Center wants MargOH!

Hey Kids,

More exciting news!!!

I have a meeting with Billie Jean king this weekend about the possibility of being the model/spokesperson for her new fitness center. It is part of the new gay and lesbian retirement homes being built in Sante Fe and Palm springs next.

Billie is endorsing the center with her name but she feels she's too out of shape to do any of the promotionals... She made a reference of putting her head on my body or something mmmm....

Billie and I go way back when i was dating Dick van patton, he got me all into the tennis thing and we met Billie for a couple of doubles matches. She can't believe how hot I still look and actually grabbed my ass at the US Open last year, that frisky gal!!!

Anyway she invited me up to Newport for the "Tennis Hall of fame" induction this weekend to talk over the details. Plus I get to see that hot manmeat Patrick Rafter play a match.... very sexy...

I'll fill you in on the details when i get back...

Kisses, MargOH!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I Love me PIMMS

Hey Kids,

I had a blast playing tennis with Berna the other day, I had wimbledon fever, actually it is the one sport MargOH! is good at. I love smacking balls with a raquet, it's hot.

I also love that whenever we play Berna and I always bring a cooler w/spiggot filled with PIMMS and Sprite and of course we cut up some lemons and add a little mint to add some zest. I also dab my towel in it and pat myself, it also has a gorgeous scent.

It's so refreshing in between points and so very british...Its a sophisticated drink I feel. It makes me feel pretty. It also helps my serve. I don't know what it is but it makes the lines look bigger or something

Kids try some PIMMS, You'll love it

Landed role in the "Dallas" Film

Hey Kids,

I just got off the phone with my agent Shecky Burns and he landed me a huge role in the upcoming film "Dallas". I think he said I would be playing maid # 6 in JR's mansion.... very exciting plus they agreed to my fee of 10K a day. I guess they are also going to have me tend to some J Lo's needs, I guess some of the crew are afraid of her... They heard about my serving as Angelina's personal on set lip plumper and know I can throw a great right hook. So miss J. Lo better get her shit together cause MargOH! does not stand for attitude.

I am thrilled to be working with Shirley MacLain again, it's been while.. I was the "Wedding Dancer" in Steel Magnolia's. We had such a good time filming that scene, it only took me 77 takes... Shirley was a real sport and spiked the tea that they had and everyone was toasted and didn't mind. Daryl hannah says she watches that scene all the time to help her through her down moments, what a dear.

Though i'll be in that dustbowl of a state Texas it will be fun working with some of the heavyweights, Travolta... wow

Kisses, The Big M

Monday, July 10, 2006

MargOH! Immortalized

Hey Kids,

I have had so may wonderful things happen in my life, my marriage to Rodney, my being in over 1,700 films, taking over for Liza when she's on a bender, drinking Sake Hops in Hawaii... So many things.

This however is my most privileged moment.

MargOH! has been forever smacked on canvas and I never looked more gorgeous. You can almost smell my olive breath from my 7th dirty martini of the day. Not to mention that I am immortalized with my favorite performer and friend Nellie McKay.

I would love to thank Boosey Soho for doing this painting, It takes my breath way. I am truly honored.

She is a magician of the paint brush and is just wonderful to have done this!!

Boosey took her inspiration from my poem which I will paste in so the two can be put together.

I love ya Boosey and Cheers to you!!!

MargOH! and Nellie

Those two girls what a pair
In step walking side by side
Talking in a carefree tune
Thoughts dancing, smiling wide
People staring but they won't hide
Friends til the end
In step walking side by side

MargOH is a big boned gal
Most everyone looks twice
Covering up with L'Oreal
Sophisticated glamour is always nice
Working on an angle, independent and free
Stop staring; she's who she wants to be

Nellie is a young pioneer, ambitious, no fear
She has a vintage style and talent that's rare
She's no pageant gone bad
Her music makes you imagine a world both happy and sad
She sings for human and animal rights
Optimistic we'll win the fight
Standing tall, independent and free
Stop Staring; she's who she wants to be

MargOH and Nellie don't fit the mold
Two works of art bigger than life to behold
Don't ask don't tell
They're not ready to say
What business is it of yours anyway?
These two friends til the end
Working on an angle, independent and free
Stop staring; they're who they want to be

It's not a matter of sexual orientation
Small-minded people currently rule this nation
Just so that you're in the know
MargOH and Nellie are just friends on the go
Two friends til the end
Working on an angle, independent and free
Stop staring; they're who they want to be
They're who they want to be

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Vintage "MargOH! Channing Show" footage w/ Nellie

Hey Kids,

This is a rare behind the scenes look at a taping of "The MargOH! Channing Show"

Nellie McKay was the guest, she was and still is fabulous.



Friday, July 07, 2006


Hey Kids,

I can't help to wonder about Boy George....

MargoH! is a great lover of "The Culture Club" and have had many drunken nights dancing to "Miss me Blind".

We all know what a mess the Boy was when he was on the drugs back in the day and the heart was sick over it. I hate to see anyone caught up in a drug scene, why not a "Dirty Martini Scene"... Kids, don't you agree!!

Well travel 20 years in time and poor George got all caught up with the "Club Scene" in NY with all the sassy... 30 something club kids that are still doing the blow, really....

I feel the Boy is a bit sad at the moment, though I love his music... its time to drop the drugs and pick up a bottle of Sake and get clean!!!!

Check out the site made about Boy George's taking money and not returning it to charities, etc. for services not rendered.....


Kisses, MargOH!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Liza and I again

Hey Kids,

Well it was a wild weekend that started with my invite to Barbara Walters impromptu party for Star Jones Reynolds. Well, Star wasn't invited but all the female broadcasting heavyweights, new and old were there. Kathie Lee Gifford, Jane Pauley, Katie Couric, Wil Wikle, Joy Behar, Meredith Viera, leslie Stahl, Diane Sawyer and they even had Goria Steinem there to console Barbara about whether or not she still had woman power.

There were posters of Star all over and we each got to draw mustaches, broken teeth or anything we wanted. Barbara also had a special pin the tail on Star poster made, it was fab.

Barbara gave a speech about how she felt betrayed by Star's announcement she was leaving. I couldn't understand that because she had already been let go so what was the big deal... I think the big deal is that Bab's felt like everyone would know that she had Star fired because she was annoying the shit out of everyone. She is a liar and fright as a skinny woman.

Or was it that Barbara knows that "The View" sucks and was trying to get rid of dead weight or was it that Star and Rosie would come to blows.... We all know Star is a "family values" type of woman and probably would be afraid to get to close to Rosie's Pussy.. Whatever the reason we were all there because we can't stand Star Jones Reynolds, she's obnoxious, wears fur, lied to her fans about her weight loss, the list goes on and on. I was also there for the food. Barbara always puts out a spread to die for and she didn't fail this time either with giant shrimp, garlic olives which I pelted at stars posters and of course the champers, Dom all the way baby... Katie was the only one who said she didn't mind Star so we all pelted her with garlic olives which sent her to the bathroom crying, poor Katie...

Well we all got toasted and Barbara was laughing at the end of the evening so we did our job. I felt fabulous except for the fact that Barbara told me she couldn't give me the job as Stars replacement because I was better than Joy behar and that would cause more friction. I told her not to worry and that Public access was the way for me.... Well if Logo came a calling then I would go but who knows...

I ended up leaving with Kathie lee because we were going to watch the taping of the July 4th NBC Special. Liza was doing NY, NY with the Pops so we couldn't miss that. Everyone else was too drunk and most were passed out, those old gals can't handle the booze. Wil wikle tried to tag a ride but kathie Lee declined and pushed him into the street. She said to me "Who's that Queen"? I said, "Oh, he does a travel show on the gay network Logo", "he's nobody baby".

We pulled up to the waterside place and were wisked back stage by Bo Bice and Nick Lachey. They said "Liza, its so great to meet you". I of course answered "Boys, I'm not Liza". kathie chimed in and said "On a good day she can do a great Liza". I said "Thank you Kathie" and slipped her a dollar bill. Well the boys went on to tell me that Liza hadn't shown up yet , her sequin pant suit did but not her.

All of a sudden my cell phone rang and I picked up and it was Berna telling me Liza was calling to do her a favor. I hung up and called Liza and her assistant answered and said. Hey margOH!, thank god... Liza ate a bad fig from a street vendor and is feeling really ill. Can you possibly pull off a Lip Synch for her. She'll pay you a grand.

A bad fig, oh the poor dear. Sure I said and called Berna to run over my carnegie hall CD. Don't worry Bo Bice chimed in. I brought my copy to have Liza sign... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I ran over to the tech guys and played my best Liza, her assistant also said no one could know about it so I'd have to do my best to wrangle with the PA's and such.

I snapped into liza mode bossing everyone around, I made the PA take out the seems in that top and borrowed kathie Lee's black pants. Liza's and I are the same weight but I am a bit taller than her you see.

The crowd was getting anxious cause they had been in there for an hour already. I busted out on the stage and handed the CD to the sound guy. Went over to the head POPs guy and said. I'm a bit raspy so I'm Lip Synching. Do your best to air play all.

It was perfect. The crowd went nuts. I can fool the best of them when I'm in the moment. I was fantastic I must say. it was great to get to use my Liza chops for a large audience again. The last time was the 2nd and 3rd night of "Minnelli on Minnelli".

It was a fun weekend and I am happy to know Star Jones Reynolds will have a hard time working in NY again. You don't mess with Ms. Walters.... She's done :)

Kisses, MargOH!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Back Home

Hey Kids,

Guess what, The board of my old building reconsidered my eviction after that little party we had for my sister Rita... So I am happy to say Berna and I packed up and left Robin Byrds pad yesterday. I want to thank Robin for her generosity and all of those calling cards to use her sex lines... It was a blast.

Glenda our super really went out on a limb for Berna and I and slept with the top male board member to ensure our living quarters. It was her that made disgusting sexual acts in the hallway the lead to our being evicted, that slut. I did tell her it best that she uses her body for bribes and favors rather than just plain sex.

Of course, Shirley Bassey was thrilled to have us back... She knows the booze is always a step away rather than having to walk to the package store...

Oh jeez, gotta go. I'm off to a waxing and a high colonic... I need to be flushed kids...

I'll be back with more updates of all the parties, The Star Jones one is ar least 2 pages and will take me some time to jot down,

Here's another pic of the show.

Enjoy kids,

Kisses, MargOH!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Happy Holiday weekend

Hey Kids,

I'm of to a BBQ at Dame Shirley Bassey's... It should be a rollicking good time. I hear Joan collins and Marissa Berenson are coming. Then we're headed over to watch Liza for a 4th concert being shot tonight on the east river, how fitting for Liza. I hope she doesn't throw me in...

I'll update you on the Star Jones Reynolds party at Barbara Walters and Shirley's party after the holiday... I'm gonna be busy, busy, busy

Kisses, MargOH!