Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Liza and I again

Hey Kids,

Well it was a wild weekend that started with my invite to Barbara Walters impromptu party for Star Jones Reynolds. Well, Star wasn't invited but all the female broadcasting heavyweights, new and old were there. Kathie Lee Gifford, Jane Pauley, Katie Couric, Wil Wikle, Joy Behar, Meredith Viera, leslie Stahl, Diane Sawyer and they even had Goria Steinem there to console Barbara about whether or not she still had woman power.

There were posters of Star all over and we each got to draw mustaches, broken teeth or anything we wanted. Barbara also had a special pin the tail on Star poster made, it was fab.

Barbara gave a speech about how she felt betrayed by Star's announcement she was leaving. I couldn't understand that because she had already been let go so what was the big deal... I think the big deal is that Bab's felt like everyone would know that she had Star fired because she was annoying the shit out of everyone. She is a liar and fright as a skinny woman.

Or was it that Barbara knows that "The View" sucks and was trying to get rid of dead weight or was it that Star and Rosie would come to blows.... We all know Star is a "family values" type of woman and probably would be afraid to get to close to Rosie's Pussy.. Whatever the reason we were all there because we can't stand Star Jones Reynolds, she's obnoxious, wears fur, lied to her fans about her weight loss, the list goes on and on. I was also there for the food. Barbara always puts out a spread to die for and she didn't fail this time either with giant shrimp, garlic olives which I pelted at stars posters and of course the champers, Dom all the way baby... Katie was the only one who said she didn't mind Star so we all pelted her with garlic olives which sent her to the bathroom crying, poor Katie...

Well we all got toasted and Barbara was laughing at the end of the evening so we did our job. I felt fabulous except for the fact that Barbara told me she couldn't give me the job as Stars replacement because I was better than Joy behar and that would cause more friction. I told her not to worry and that Public access was the way for me.... Well if Logo came a calling then I would go but who knows...

I ended up leaving with Kathie lee because we were going to watch the taping of the July 4th NBC Special. Liza was doing NY, NY with the Pops so we couldn't miss that. Everyone else was too drunk and most were passed out, those old gals can't handle the booze. Wil wikle tried to tag a ride but kathie Lee declined and pushed him into the street. She said to me "Who's that Queen"? I said, "Oh, he does a travel show on the gay network Logo", "he's nobody baby".

We pulled up to the waterside place and were wisked back stage by Bo Bice and Nick Lachey. They said "Liza, its so great to meet you". I of course answered "Boys, I'm not Liza". kathie chimed in and said "On a good day she can do a great Liza". I said "Thank you Kathie" and slipped her a dollar bill. Well the boys went on to tell me that Liza hadn't shown up yet , her sequin pant suit did but not her.

All of a sudden my cell phone rang and I picked up and it was Berna telling me Liza was calling to do her a favor. I hung up and called Liza and her assistant answered and said. Hey margOH!, thank god... Liza ate a bad fig from a street vendor and is feeling really ill. Can you possibly pull off a Lip Synch for her. She'll pay you a grand.

A bad fig, oh the poor dear. Sure I said and called Berna to run over my carnegie hall CD. Don't worry Bo Bice chimed in. I brought my copy to have Liza sign... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I ran over to the tech guys and played my best Liza, her assistant also said no one could know about it so I'd have to do my best to wrangle with the PA's and such.

I snapped into liza mode bossing everyone around, I made the PA take out the seems in that top and borrowed kathie Lee's black pants. Liza's and I are the same weight but I am a bit taller than her you see.

The crowd was getting anxious cause they had been in there for an hour already. I busted out on the stage and handed the CD to the sound guy. Went over to the head POPs guy and said. I'm a bit raspy so I'm Lip Synching. Do your best to air play all.

It was perfect. The crowd went nuts. I can fool the best of them when I'm in the moment. I was fantastic I must say. it was great to get to use my Liza chops for a large audience again. The last time was the 2nd and 3rd night of "Minnelli on Minnelli".

It was a fun weekend and I am happy to know Star Jones Reynolds will have a hard time working in NY again. You don't mess with Ms. Walters.... She's done :)

Kisses, MargOH!

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