Monday, December 05, 2005

My Big in "05"

Hey Kids,

Well I am back from the "Fishmongers' Retirement Home" finally. Due to the Midwest weather and detours to vegas and a brief visit to my sister Rita in San Diego I am back.

Back just in time to see the "Big in 05" awards. You know, one of the endless award show's that let even D list celebs know that they are important. Please, the last thing we need is another awards show but I thought what the hell, my Opinion Counts.

Tis why I have decided over the next few posts to share my thoughts and provide a debt of gratitude to those celebs that keep me talking or even employed throughout the year. I am starting with my "Big in 05" list. The stories that I feel are the most worthy of our admiration or disgust!!!!

My Big # 5 in 05 has to go to Kirsty Alley for her ability to turn Lemons into Lemonade or should I say fat into motor oil. She really proved that you can be a fat ass and still attract attention no matter what the cause is. Even though the actual show "Fat Actress" stunk she was able to even help me lose weight, not by using Jenny Craig but by getting so sick of seeing her mug on TV that I became too sick to eat!! Bitch...

My Big # 4 in 05 goes to the end of the Show "Everybody Loves Raymond". I never watched the show but must have been asked over 8,000 times if i saw "Everybody Loves Raymond" this week and 8,000 times I said No. Now I have nothing against Ray Ramono, it is that bitch Doris Roberts who works my last nerve. She is the reason I lost the role of Angie to Donna whatever her name was because I didn't have red hair. Thankfully we will not have to listen to another one of her Emmy Speeches where she tells everyone what a wonder she is. In the end the show left me wondering.... there must have been some reason why I didn't watch it so I am thrilled they pulled the plug. I have heard through the grapevine that Brad Garrett is the "Big" man on campus for some upcoming projects so i'll have to suck on that.....

My Big # 3 in 05 has to be that my "Lord and empress goddess" Madonna has made it to the Dance floor once again with her new CD. The heaven's have answered my prayers and I am forever thankful for the chance to shake my booty to some retro fabulous music. If I had to turn out for one more sad "Mariah remix" I might have had another earache. It is my Madonna who sets the trends and I am on my way right now to get my farrah Fawcett flips Aqua netted up as we speak.... Farrah almost actually made this list in at a cool # 6 for her reality turn. Anyway I am forever thankful to Madonna except for "Shanghai Suprise" and "Body of Evidence" but the new CD is the tops, Kisses Maddy Baby

My Big # 2 in 05 is the slow crumbling of our jackass president George W. I knew it would not take much time for the wheels to come off after the sad and misguided mid west states voted that moron in for a second term. Now my Big in 05 is not meant to be a political statement however when you have a leader who has made this country into an absolute mess there needs to be at least a lambasting by MargOH!

I think New Orleans alone is enough to send him and his sorry ass down the river with no life jacket. His handling of the glorious protest of Cindy Sheehan is also a nail in his coffin. Not even having the dignity to speak to a grieving mother, what a bastard....... His demise as leader and his being viewed as a jackass even by the jackasses that voted for him is Big enough to make my list. Down with george........

My big # 1 in 05 was tough to pick but I could look no further than one of the most famous dogs to ever touch this earth besides my pooch Kim Fung. It is "Sam, the worlds ugliest dog" that passed away at age 14. Yes that's right... the biggest and my most loved story of the year is that Ugly dog.... talk about overcoming obstacles and being admired even though you are hideous, much like Lynn Chaney must feel about her husband Dick...
Sam was a much beloved dog of it's owner Susie Lockheed who said that Sam was one of a kind and could never be matched. This is so true though have you seen Britney and kevin's baby, could be a dead ringer.... but I digress. The thing about Sam is that he gives us all hope in a world so focused on bueaty. I know every time I look in the Mirror and am not looking my best I will dust myself off and throw on a little more powder and get on with it because I know Sam didn't have that luxury. Sam is my hero and should be the example we should all live by.... "ugly aint so bad" kids....Live on forever Sam....

Kisses, MargOH!

I'll be workin on my next list

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