The MTV Video Music awards

Hey Kids,

I just got back from Miami, what a weekend, wow!!!!

This was a blast, I was hired as a fan, yes a fan. A whole group of us were paid to stand down by the stage and act like we were having fun and loving the performances, what a gig. Diddy's peeps told me that they wanted a woman of my age in the mix to bring the generations of music fans together.... How touching..... That was a fucking nightmare..........

Everything was going just fine, I was mixing it with the kids and rolling with the flow until the very end when the waterworks were turned on for the Kelly Clarkson finale. I was soaked, not to mention my eyeliner made me look like Tammy Faye had volunteered to do my make-up for the evening and my DVF wrap dress started to shrink before the eyes of me teen co-horts. They got an eyeful let me tell you.

If that weren't bad enough that damn American Idol lackey slipped and fell right on top of me and pushed herself back up and felt my breast. I knew she was a lesbian..... Needless to say after that I stormed backstage after brushing by Diddy I demanded an apology.

Little kelly was a bit upset as well, she explained that the water was a last minute request by Mariah because she felt she should not be the only one getting wet, please she barely put her toes in that pool but here stood kelly and I wet as beavers. Kelly did apologize and also wrote me a check for 5K in case I was injured.

After I dried off and retouched I partied all night with Paris, and Diddy's mom... They thought I was Liza on a bender....

Thanks, Kids....