Monday, November 21, 2005

Taking the Country out of the CMA's

Hey Kids,

Well I thought I was going to have a nice quiet evening and just relax in front of the boob tube and eat a bag of lays..... Unfortunately I got a frantic call from Lee Ann Womack telling me she had a big fight with her sister and since I was the only other person she knew in the big apple (Lee Ann performed at my cabaret in Bangkok before she hit it big)that she wanted me to come with her for protection. I of course can't turn anyone down especially when I may get the chance to see Dolly. I hurried myself to get dressed(the problem is what does one where to the CMA's that doesn't make you look like you just got banged by a bunch of cowboys in your trailer). I found the perfect thing a black Asian inspired top with a cute pair of boot cut Levis boy jeans and my Dingo's. I looked just like an urban cowgirl!!!

I jumped into the stretch and Lee Ann looked well how should I put it, mmm crazy. Between you and me I think she is about to go over the deep end. You would think someone who is having so much success would be happier but she looked annoyed by it all. She was thrilled to see me but told me that her sister wouldn't forego her ticket and that I would have to either sit in the rafters or hang out by the bar. Well you all know where I wanted to be so I asked her a few hundred dollars and saddled up to the bar. I asked what the fight was about and she told me that her sis told her that she looked like a lipstick lesbian going to the rodeo in the outfit she chose. I must say that she did look a little Anna Nicole without the pretty if ya know what I mean...

We got there and I was out on the red carpet and dashed into the bar area only to find that Big and Rich had already got there party crazy hands on most of the liquor. They had an entourage of about 20 people including silver spray painted vixens and a little person named two foot brad. You know I had to check that out, I just love little people. They are party animals. Two foot and I had a blast, he is a bit frisky but you know I love the attention so I let him cop a couple of feels.

Lee Ann ended up winning an award but that didn't seem to cheer her up. She came by looking for me when Elton John and I were doing Fireball shots with Glenn Campbell. She grabbed my arm and asked why I hadn't watched her perform And get her award with a wild eyed look, very scary. I told Lee Ann that I didn't even want to come but I felt obligated.. I much prefer the old school country gals like Loretta, Dolly and Barbara Mandrell, though I must say Gretchen Wilson is keeping things real with her latest CD. Well That sent Lee Ann over the edge and she stormed out and left me there. Thank goodness Two Foot let me hitch a ride on his scooter, though that cost me a few more favors it was worth walking home from the Hell's Kitchen area, yikes

Well all in all the CMA's were a big bore, though I do like that austrailian hunk Keith Urban and Big and Rich are crazy...It was fun to see Elton, Olivia Newton- John, Cliff Richard and Larry King. If that's not a list of country heavyweights i don't know what is..... Somehow I think Country music doesn't have much country left, i think it's just pop right now.

Country kisses, MargOH!

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