You know I'm in a writing funk. I think its because summer is coming to an end here in old NYC. This must mean I haven't made enough Mojito's lately, ya think. I am going to have nothing but tropical and frozen drinks this holiday weekend to perk me up a bit.
I did have a wild night out the other eve. I ran into Diane Keaton and Meryl Streep at Molly's pub on 3rd ave. They were nursing glasses of one malt scotch and talking about the old days when they didn't play mothers. They invited me over and when I went to sit down I jumped right back up, ouch, I sat on something hard and it almost went straight up my cooter. Meryl said,
"oh I'm sorry MargOH!, its my oscar for Kramer vs. Kramer".
I couldn't believe I almost got banged by Oscar. I of course inquired why she had it and she told me that she had kept it in her atrium near a fountain and it had gotten tarnished so she brought it for refinish.
I told Meryl she should take better care of her oscars, I mean I keep my "Exie's" on a lovely mantle piece, I'm very proud of them you know.
Meryl then said.. "MargOH! what did you win for? a porn..? " Diane chuckled.
"Excuse me Miss Streep", I said "but I am the most decorated extra in the history of motion pictures and television". I told her I won for playing "the wedding dancer" in Steel Magnolias and "bank vault girl # 6" in Dog Day Afternoon.
Meryl chuckled again and said "I'm just fucking with you Maggie..please you've had a longer career than me, well me, not Diane..."
Diane added in, didn't you get my part in "Looking for Mr. Goodbar" and pass.
"Yes, i did, but I thought it was crap", I replied. "I wasn't ready for a speaking role at the time but I was sad not to have ya know got it from Mr. Gere"
Diane laughed and said.... "well you know Richard and I did a lot of research for that role if you get what I mean?" "He's wild, well he was"
Diane then flagged the waitress down for a round and added a dirty martini for me.
Meryl kept asking me what was going on and grilling me about my roles. i told her I was going to be in the "Dallas" movie and was doing the voice for "Smuckers"... She kept laughing, I think her role as Miranda Priestly hasn't worn off yet.
I invited them to the shows in september and they are both shooting things so they can't make it. I added they should have been in "The Witches of Eastwick"... They loved that. We ended up having a smashing time and it was fun getting the dirt on some of their leading men. I was still a bit stung by Meryl's behavior but I think it was the scotch's.
Just FYI Kids I was carrying my large Hobo bag and now have my own Oscar for Best supporting actress in a Motion picture for Kramer vs. Kramer. Berna just got done etching my name over Meryl's.....