Monday, August 07, 2006

Clay's Aiken

Hey Kids,

I was busting at the seams the other night so I just had to go out... Berna had been driving me nuts cleaning... It wouldn't have been so bad but for the fact that Berna only cleans in the nude.. My poor dog Kim Fung hid under the bed.... yuk.

So I got dolled up and headed out to the "Boysroom" on Ave A. I heard they have hot porn Go Go dancers... I thought it might be a hoot and would also take my mind off my marriage proposal, it's all I've been thinking about and I still don't know, anyway as I walked in I had a strong wave of baby oil and sweaty balls hit my nose. Such a pleasant smell, really brings me back to when my sister Rita would ask me to join her on her porn shoots... I would sometimes fluff the boys... Well wouldn't you, it was the 70's people.

I saddled up to the bar and ordered a vodka/tonic. I was feeling like I needed something bubbly... I also slapped a crisp dollar bill in the teeny tidy whities of one of those Go Go boys, how hot... I leaned against the bar and did a quick look around when I just happened to see something strange. I couldn't believe my eyes. I made a quick move over to the other corner of the room and looked again a bit closer, yes it was true.. It was Clay Aiken at the Boysroom.. Well he had a black wig on and very big sunglasses but I was sure that was him sitting alone in the corner sipping a tropical drink with a pink straw. I even rubbed my eyes a couple of times just to take another look and it was him so I slithered against the wall, trying to look invisible and I took a seat about a few feet way from the Aiken.. I was mistaken, he was not wearing a wig, it was just a very KD lang haircut, mmmmm.

I thought it odd that no one was even paying any attention to him. I looked around the room and no one was giving him a peek. I of course was all over this, he looked very sad. I said "hello", he looked at me all girly eyed and said "Howdy mam"...

I said "Why are you here all alone?"

He replied "I am trying to squash all the Rumors that I'm gay".

I said "Clay Honey shouldn't you be at say volunteering at a children's bible summer camp to prove that?"

he replied " I thought if I came to where the hottest, sexiest, most fabulous boys are (he started massaging his crotch at this point)and I sat here and didn't do a thing I would look straight".

I giggled, "I'm sorry Clay, I didn't mean to laugh but that sounds nuts, maybe you should ask Jessica Simpson or no better yet Fantasia to marry you", "You need a beard".

"I tried growin one a them but that didn't work", he said...

"No clay not a facial beard but a fake wife", I said.

"Why didn't I think of that?", he said.

"Because you are obviously stupid", I said "If your at a place like this you have to have some fun Clay, here's a dollar , go put it in that hotties undies and feel his nuts" I added

"I couldn't do that , um what's ur name? , Clay said

"MargOH! I said "Go on clay go touch em"

"Really, you think I should but what will they say", Clay said

It doesn't matter what they say Clay as long as their talking", i replied

He grabbed that dollar out of my hand and ran over to that go go boy and pulled down those undies and actually had that boy tea bag him, Clay was sucking on those balls like a runaway hoover. I quickly ran over and replaced the dollar with a twenty...geez he was out of control. The go go boy yelled out "Oh my god, KD lang is sucking my balls, get her off of me" he screamed...

I yelled "its not KD Lang, it's Clay Aiken". He screamed even louder..

I pulled Clay away from his balls and sat him back down. I said "Clay just get over it, you're a big fag". "Its okay", I added "the gays will love you".

"I'm not gay"..." I'm Bi", he yelled at me but my image is so squeaky clean, I can't afford to lose my Claymates

I said, "Clay honey, you need playmates, not Claymates" "Just come out", I added

all of a sudden Clay jumped up and ran for the door crying, I ran after him but her jumped in a limo and I couldn't catch him. I felt sad...

Clay was Aiken


Kisses, MargOH!


  1. Hey MargOH! it was my first taste of workin in the fashion industry last week, was bizarre to say the least! at first i walked in and thought hey, this is gonna be cool, a room full of good looking boys, lots of pretty clothes, i knew i could handle it. but from that point it all went spiralling down hill.
    there was this nice Albino boy jack who was very freindly and said dont i know you from somwhere? i said i dont think so, and after half an hour of racking our brains gave up. then it was my turn to be dressed, and for some reason they thought hey were gonna make dan the freaky one and put me in a ridiculously oversized suit! it would have fit rosanne barr for christ sake, they laughed and said i looked funny in a good way and started taking pics. i felt ridiculous. Then Jack the Albino boy said i know where ive seen you before! you were dressed as bacon at Phoebe and anna's birthday bash at thre montague arms!
    how depressing i thought, not only am i remembered as smokey piece of meat, now im gonna forever be remembered as the freaky one in autumn winter arena homme 2006. Fuck it!
    it was kinda fun anyhow!

    I have a story about a gay strip joint in Berlin but i shall save it for later.

    glad you well MargOH!
    stay Hot!
    dan xxxxx

  2. dan dear,

    Though you have yet to send me a pic... I'm sure you're gorgeous in whatever you put on... and I have never known an albino Model so I am sure you were not the weirdest one their..

    I once Modeled, yes it's true, at the Idaho baked potato convention in Boise in 1974. I was one of the Burlap potato bag gals. I also won the potato eating contest that year... Oh you know I actually modeled twice, another time was for an "adult magazine" called "Benders"... I actually pulled my back out.. I had lied about being double jointed!!!!

    Can't wait to here the berlin story

    I love smokey pieces of meat....

    Good luck on your modeling endeavors...I say be yourself and everyone will love you... Modeling can be uh, phony, so being real would be unique...

    Kisses, MargOH!