I did sleep with Stumpy Jones!!! I met with Stoli last eve and she had proof, a pair of my "Apple Dumpling Gang" commerative panties....I recognized them because Tim Conway and Don Knotts had signed them.
Stoli also fessed up that she had been following me and trying to figure out how to approach me.
I told her that I may have slept with Stumpy but I couldn't possibly been pregnant and given birth.
She went on to tell me that Stumpy told her that I was drinking a lot and using prescription meds after my divorce and was a bit out of it. This is true but I still think I would have remebered that? I also asked why Stumpy or yourself never contacted me earlier? It was all very strange.
She said that Stumpy took her away after the birth, that Berna had arranged for him to take her right after the delivery. Berna made him promise never to contact you or her again. My father took me and didn't tell me you were my mother until right before his death. She said she had no deal with Berna and she sought me out.
Berna's got some explaining to do!
I told Stoli that I don't remember any of this and I would have to gather myself and try and figure this out.
She asked if we could do a DNA test just to verify if it was true and if it was she wanted to move in with me. She added she wanted to be an actress like me and she needed my help.
I of course slugged down another dirty martini and told her I was off to texas to film the "Dallas" film and that I would do the DNA test whe I got back. I asked if she needed anything and she said she was staying with Stumpy's sister Stella in the bronx for now. She said she would wait til I got back but if I didn't do the DNA test she would go to the press.
Now I am being threatened... yikes. I left the meeting feeling a a bit perplexed so I headed over to Polly Holidays to ask her advice, she wasn't home. Then I called Madame Rizzario, my card reader and hypnotist to go get a reading. I am going to see her Monday!
I'll keep you posted, I'm off for Margarita's with Mandy Moore and Pink at La Palapa on St. Marks. Pink may produce my single... I'm very excited!!
I don't think I'll ever drink Stoli again!!!!