Thursday, February 23, 2006

Home... What a disaster

Hey Kids,

I made it home in one piece and with the proper identity. It was a wild time at the
Olympics. The one thing I have learned from the American athletes is that they know how to party. I swear I only slept about 5 hours in 5 days, yikes. Now I am a party girl but I still need a little ugly sleep so I can look hot. Kids don't forget I'm going to be 58 this year, wow.

Well when I got home it was a disaster. The place was in shambles and Berna was three sheets to the wind. To make matters worse she was only wearing a sheet. My darling pooch kim fung was licking up all the Champagne that Berna had dropped. She was tanked too. I did a quick scan of the room and saw something else bundled up under a sheet. I walked over and poked it with my USA Team signed hockey stick (It read, To MargOH! The girl with one hell of a Slapshot, our asses are still red. Thanks again , Team USA). What lovely boys they are and they surely love a bit of the bondage, yum!

So I then poked a little harder and the sheet fell slightly to show that it was Gary Busey. I shrieked with fear, he's crazy, he's always been crazy. I had a small role in the Buddy Holly Story and he was drinking and carrying on back then. I of course don't think drinking is bad as long as you can maintain proper conduct until yet get behind closed doors of course.

He moved a bit and opened his eyes "Hey MargOH! old girl, How you been sexy" as he pulled me down on him.

" Listen Busey unhand me, and what have you been doing with Berna",
I demanded.
"C'mon Maggie , I saw the old gal at McSwiggan's and we did some boiler makers", he replied.

"Listen, Gary. Berna is having her Gastric Bypass on St. Patricks day and she needs her rest", I said.

"She 's gonna miss St Patty's day, that sucks" as he got up and stumbled a bit.

Berna started to wake up as well and then fell back down exposing her naked flesh

" I have had it, Gary get the hell out", I screamed

" Maggie old girl what's going on, you used to be a lot of fun, now you gettin cranky in your old age", Gary said

" Old age, Gary I'm 58 years young but look at this mess", I said. "Stop calling me old and get those hands off of me", I added.

"C'mon Maggie, you remember how much fun we had in my trailer, wanna go for it again", he asked.

"MMM,, Gary that was years ago and you were cute then", I said. 'Now you're just sloppy", I added

"C'mon Maggie I still got it in the right places", he begged.

" Yeah but I think your places have been near Berna's and I don't want to go there. I Have Standards ya know", I said

" C'mon Maggie Neil Sedaka's got nothing on me", he said

" Yes he does, Talent and how dare you bring that up, Neil is hot and at least clean"
I said. " Now get out", I added.

I led him down to the door and called the doorman to have them help but Gary went quietly.

"Can you believe this"?

"Berna is gonna get it when she wakes up. She's gonna be cleaning for days. Look at all of these crushed Cheetos. Kim Fung eat them up girl, Good Dog".

"Just for the record Kids I only Blew Gary". " It was the fashion in 78, all that polyester made him look hot".

Kisses Kids,


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