Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Gorton's Rolls out the Red Carpet for MargOH!

Hey Kids,

It ended up being a lovely Valentines day. Though I did have to spend some time with
my mother Sully.

Sully called me last week and asked me to perform at the Fish Mongers retirement home in Anchorage. Of course I said no way but then she told me that Gorton's had bought it and it was now called The Gorton's Fish Mongers retirement home.

Well I saw fish sticks dancing in my head when Sully said they were willing to cough up 6 grand plus my travel expenses.

I immediately called Dr. Chow to get a cortisone injection to ease the pain of my little "Gout" problem. I needed to be eased back into my mules.. I missed them so.

Berna threw my luggage together and I was off. I planned to perform 2 shanty songs. One called "Shoals of Herring" and the other "True Sailor Boy". I also was going to add in "Shiver me Timbers" and "Cabaret". I mean I didn't want to go overboard on the theme. Oh Yes I also did an encore of "My Funny Valentine".

I was of course a smash and the crowd was going wild. Though the average age of the home is 77 they are full of energy and frisky. I made an extra 100 bucks flashing the Ta Ta's for this guy named Captain Jack.

Luckily I did because when I got my pay it was only for 5400. I of course went straight to the office and they told me that Sully had taken a 10% finders fee.
I ran right to her room but by the time I got there the room was full of Lucky Strikes and Jack Daniels.

"MargoH! babe I ran off during the show and got me some smokes and drink with my fee", Sully said

"What fee you old Tuna, there's no fee for you", I said and grabbed what she had left in her hand, 50 bucks. "You could have bought a years worth of canned salmon with this", I added

"The fee is not for the performance, it was for giving birth to your big boned crabby ass", Sully screamed.

Well, I could go on but it gets a bit messy and involves a bit of broken glass and cigarette burns. I will spare you the ugly details but just know that I am not visiting Sully again until she bites it and I can throw her into the pacific.

Kids don't get the wrong idea I love my mother Sully but love hurts sometimes.

I have posted some pics of my performance, enjoy.

Kids one more thing , I am off to Torino for the games. I will tell you all about it in my next post.

Kisses, MargOH!


  1. Pixie Plains10:01 AM

    Sully has already booked me for the St Patrick's Day Party, after your appalling behaviour. Seems I'll be the good daughter she never had with you and that slut Rita. If I bring her a carton of Kools (she doesn't smoke Lucky Strikes, you twat) a bottle of homemade absinthe and an I*heart* NY collector's spoon and she'll forget about her fee. Suffer, bitch.

  2. Very lovely - we have an old folks home here in Santa Gay with tons of old Natives...I think they are also building a casino where you would perform.

  3. Danny,

    Oh, Yes. I used to play vegas until I had a little misunderstanding with Barbara Rickles(Wife of Don Rickles). I had gone out drinkin with Don and Johnny(carson that is) and we got tanked. Don was nice enough to let me crash at his place (on the couch of course). I must have gotten up during the evening to pee but I accidently ended up in their bed. It was purely innocent but I was naked with Don's boxers around my head.

    Mrs. Rickles has a lot of power in vegas and I haven't worked their since. I do love a casino though. All of the knobs and sticks to pull on....

    Kisses, MargOH!