I got a frantic call from Lynn Spears the other day. She had been talking to Betty Degenerous about Britney's panty problem and Betty recommended she call me for advice.
I'm always ready to help, for a price of course.
Lynn asked me how to get Britney to wear underwear again. She said that since Brit's been separated she's been walking around the house with a long tee and nothing else. All the while bending over picking up baby toys and such, exposing her cooter. Lynn says she has no shame...
I told Lynn that it's simple, All you need is a rubber band and some hot sauce.
Lynn seemed perplexed and didn't say a word.
I said Lynn if you want me to help I need a promise of a grand and two cases of Mumms..
Lynn said no problem
I went on to explain that every time Britney bends over exposing her cooter she should take an elastic band , dip it in hot sauce and shoot it at her clit. She'll scream and eventually will realise that she needs a panty to protect her minge. I mean really after the pics i saw I'm sure she has sand and dust up there...its sad.
Lynn said she would try it even though she didn't believe in punishment. I told Lynn that this wasn't a punishment. I told her she was actually saving the world!! She was empowered and finally agreed she'd do it.
I'll keep you updated on if it worked. It should, I did it all the time to Berna when she went through the teddy with no panties phase back in the early 90's.