Friday, December 29, 2006

2nd Annual MargOH!'s "Most Annoying Straights of 06" list

Hey Kids,

This past month has been crazy and I've been really annoyed so I had to hold off on posting this.

I first must explain that just like last year there are no other people in the world that can be more annoying than the Bush administration. The only problem is that they are so boring to talk about that it makes it even more annoying. They are the actual top 5.. this is in Random order

George "Stupider than stupid" Bush
Condelezza "I'll do anything for George and I mean anything" Rice
Donald "Dickhead Idiot" Rumsfeld
Dick " When the hell will he die" Cheney
Laura "Caught like a deer in headlights" Bush

Then I had the issue of Pop culture and the horrible turn it has taken in the past 5 years or so. It got even worse this year with all of these skinny blonde's and on and off again blonde's running around showing off there cooters. They all landed in the 2ND top 5 or 6-10. I 'm not going to say much about these gals because I hear about it every day on the Internet, on the TV, in the newspaper, on the street...It is disgusting so here is 6-10

Paris Hilton
Nicole Richie
Britney Spears
Lindsey Lohan
Jessica Simpson

Just as a side note.... the only blonde's that did not annoy me this year were Tori Spelling and Loni Anderson. "So Notorious" was one of the funniest and most interesting shows of the past year and I think Tori Spelling showed how one should never take themselves too seriously. Bravo Tori!!!

Oh, yes and Dolly Parton who is a blonde by wig only but I love her and she is Okay every year in my book!!

Now to the top 5 which I guess is actually 11-15....yikes I'm confused

5. Donald Trump and the Miss USA Scandal

This story really threw me into a tizzy at the last minute. As a former winner of "Little Miss Lobster Festival" pageant when I was 6 in Bangor I was appalled by Tara Conner... Not because she was being a bad girl but that she got caught, stupid girl....didn't she learn anything from poor Vanessa Williams.

Its actually Donald Trump who is about as Annoying as you can get on a daily basis but what he said about Rosie was just horrible. He is a homophobic prick that doesn't deserve to be on television or be respected by anyone. Unfortunately middle America can't get enough of "The Apprentice" so we'll have to keep putting up with it! Thanks soccer Moms....

4. Mel Gibson

Just another homophobic, Jew hating, thinks he better than everybody else prick. Cuchie make me a Sloe Gin Fizz with a chaser of Jack...thanks doll. He makes me wanna drink even at 9 am. Whats even more annoying is that he can't handle his liquor, how sad!!! If ya can't hang Mel baby switch to diet coke. I think we should send Mel down to Australia and put him in a pen with some drunk kangaroos and have them beat the crap out of him!!! I hope Jesus will forgive him, he's so religious.

3. Naomi Campbell

I know Ms. Campbell was cleared of beating her domestic but I still think she did it. She obviously is a bad girl at heart and even her looks aren't enough for her. I treat all of my domestics with loving and open arms....well there is the off chance that I may have slapped Berna a couple of times but she's been with me since 1968. We're more like family.....

I thought models were done after 30 but for some reason they're sticking around now. Who changed that rule...Damn Lauren Hutton.... Naomi grow up and get some manners and do something for Humanity other than supplying us with crap perfume.

2. Gwyneth Paltrow for Estee Lauder

Is there anything more annoying than Gwyneth Paltrows commercials for Estee' Lauder. Well , yes my # 1 pick but not much else.

I am just so happy that this rich, thin, not a care in the world actress gets to go sailing on a gorgeous day or dance in a wheat field in a flowing peasant skirt whilst spraying herself with Estee' Lauders "Pleasures".

I think it stinks, yes the scent as well. Why not Cuchie? She needs a little pleasure in her life..... and I don't think that some alcohol ridden scent is gonna do it. Cuchie get me that perfume. Yes, it tastes better than it smells. That's how I got kicked out of the Betty ford clinic you know. I drank Tatum O'neals "White Diamonds" and she was pissed. I much prefer Red door... It almost tastes like a Burgundy, very tasty. I don't recommend any of Celine Dion's scents, they taste like baby formula....anyway I'm off track.

Please Estee Lauder can we see a big lesbian driving a tractor trailer and spritzing herself with your "Pleasures". It would be some much more realistic...

1. Tyra Banks

Okay, Tyra girl.....You ain't no Oprah! okay girl, and you ain't street neither. I think I need to go Mary J. on your ass and straighten you out girl. Oops sorry for that but Tyra just makes me think I'm a big black lady. No disrespect to my fabulous women of color.

I just think that Tyra and her show stink! I had no pity for her when she had Naomi Campbell on to tell her she was mean to her. Too bad....little Tyra.

Then she puts on a fat suit and feels like she knows what a fat girl goes through....why not just follow a fat girl like me around with a camera.

She has all of these shows about serious situations but has no idea how to handle anything.

Her range of emotion goes from 0-1 and her ability to scream and jump up and down for a very long time is quite unremarkable. Give me back Sally Jessie Raphael please!!!

The most annoying thing about Tyra is that she is responsible for giving Janice Dickinson a voice (another drunk that can't control herself) .

Shame on you Tyra!!!

This concludes most of my annoyances for 2006. There are many more but I don't like to dwell on these things.

I will be posting my "Big in 06" very soon as to set myself up for a fresh and fabulous 2007. It's going to be a wonderful year and MargOH! is going to be in your face. Hold on kids it may be a bumpy ride....

Remember MargOH! says

"Champagne is for every day not just New Years Eve"

Kisses, MargOH!


Honarable mentions

Tomkat- Please not another Wedding. I think that baby stole my Liza wig
Brad and Angelina- Please not another baby and those lips....
Flavor Flav- Not another season of "Flavor of Love"
Tom Hanks- He's always annoying but that hair in "The Davinci code " was precious
Bill Frist- Is he on purpose? I think God made a mistake on that one, send him back

No comments:

Post a Comment