Friday, March 31, 2006

"The Property Known as Garland"

Hey Kids,

My old gal pal and co-star Adrienne Barbeau(I was Swamp Thing's Stand In and Foggy woman # 3 in " The Fog") is starring in a new play about Judy Garland.

It is called " The Property Known as Garland". I am going to meet Adrienne after the show for a nosh. I haven't seen her in about 15 years and she is looking marvelous for a gal of 60. I am not sure about this role though.... Adrienne well you know is quite a big girl.... in the chest area so knowing what Judy was like towards the end I was a bit concerned.

Adrienne told me by phone not to worry because everything has gotten saggy and her boobs were flattened after she had the twins. Can you believe that old bitch has got 9 year old twins, what a hoot.

I so hope I like the play or the meal afterwards may be a bit awkward but I can keep a straight face... I hope. Judy is my favorite singer and I just go crazy when I think someone can't handle her magic. I hope Adrienne can pull if off not only for herself but for the memory of Judy......

I'm gonna share a bit of legend for you about my personal feeling about Judy.. It is from my upcoming show

Enter MargoH!

I was born a fishmongers daughter in Bangor Maine. My mother didn'tÂ’t have the time to lunch because she was skinning and de-boning fish all day.

God she stank to high heaven. I still can't stand the smell of sturgeon to this day.

My father was killed by a school of starfish, sucked alive. Ironic isn'i it that I would become the star that I am.

Mother had to do it all on her own and she did. I still have the fishbone barrette she made for me. She is now peacefully living in the Fish Mongers retirement home in Anchorage Alaska. I send her a can of salmon for Christmas and tuna on Thanksgiving. She is a simple woman, with simple passions.

She didn't have much to give us but when she came into some money during the great tuna harvest of 61 Sully, thats mom, took us on a big trip to New York City to see her favorite performer Judy, Judy Garland that is.

I could not believe that me, a fishmongers daughter was going to see Dorothy live and in person at Carnegie Hall.

Well what Sully didn't tell us was that she had loaned my sister and I out to shuck oysters at the Fulton fish market in order to get the tickets.

My hands were bleeding. By the time we got to our seats so was my nose.

It was very scary that high up but after we took our seats and the overture started it was like magic. Judy came out and though she looked like a flea on stage. Her voice however boomed to the rafters. It was like Judy leapt into my body and took me over

It was then that I knew I wanted to be a star.

That day in 1961 was like a revelation for me. Thanks to Judy when we left the hall I knew I could never go back to Maine.

So at the age of 12 I intentionally got lost in the crowd after we left the concert and started my journey as a runaway vagabond and eventually the star that stands before you.

Thank you Judy


  1. We're glad you got the smell of sturgeon out of your ensemble...D

  2. Well Danny,

    You know that when I go to the retirement home its an all new smell of diapers and canned Salmon.

    I actually think I prefer the Sturgeon now....

    Kisses, MargOH!