Monday, August 30, 2004

Republicans Lurking around every corner

Hi Kids,

I have to do one entry to let you know how I'm "holding up" during the RNC. I'm frightened! Yesterday I was entering my building and a man that bore a striking resemblance to Dick Cheney was lurking outside the door to my state-of-the-art secure building, and he had a Hunting Knife in his back pocket. Enough to make me a blood necklace...

I should explain my fear. You see, I am on the list of celebrities that get under George Bush's skin. I am right under poor Carol Channing. Only alphabetically of course. I haven't actually ever been under Carol Channing...well, there was that one time that I snuck into Sammy Davis Jr's New Years party back in '79...but that is a whole other story.

Berna and I were contacted by Moby a few months ago. He let me know that Lynne Cheney had seen my show while she was staying in New York and heard me tell my viewers that she was having lunch with Boy George and Rosie. It's true! I saw her at Pastis and they were having a gay old time. But, of course, in typical "down low" style, she didn't want any of her Republican chums to know about it (the ridiculous disguises that one uses!) .

Now I know her daughter is a Lesbian and she SAYS she is ok with it but I heard her saying something about "carpet munching dyke" and then rehabilitation. Next thing I know Rosie ran off in a huff (although to be fair that one runs off in a huff at the drop of trucker cap) and then Boy got confused and started singin "You spin me round" (which I find odd because that wasn't even his song!!).

The List is really long and includes La Striesand, the Sarandon- Robbins', myself and in bold they just added Margaret Cho. At least I am in good company. W ith the exception of Susan Lucci. With that hair and those teeth and THOSE gowns...I had her pegged a Banana Republican for sure. That's a lesson kids, never judge a book by its Nolan Miller cover. They still had poor Ann Miller on the list, as well, even though she 's been dead for years! Well, Berna (looking over my shoulder) is insisting Ann only died recently. Don't let anyone fool you. Micks has been playing "Weekend at Bernie's" with her for years now. Poor, poor Ann.

Anyway, there is going to be a secret meeting this weekend of the listed at an undisclosed location to bond and help each other through this convention. There is going to be a special ceremony to remember the many people blacklisted during the McCarthy era. I don't think I will be able to talk about it so this will be my only entry for the week.

Going back to my suspicions that I am being followed, when I left for my manicure this morning the same, knife-wielding from outside my building man was getting a pedicure! By the looks of his claws he had never had one done before either. I called Pixie Plains to protect me, she's one tough broad ain't no delegate or VP gonna mess with Miss Plains .

I went to the Protest on Sunday, incognito of course, as a plain clothed man. Nothing makes me more sick than a republican running loose in this city, asking directions and looking scared...or smug, depending on where they are . After the meeting I am outta here for a few days. Yoko is letting me use her home upstate. Berna is staying behind to protect the homefront from the likes of Bush and Cheney.

Of course you know I'm whispering all of this in case I am being bugged.

Wishes, MargOH!

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