Saturday, August 21, 2004

Red Eye to Lizamay (Cont'd)

Hi Kids,

When I last left you I was headed to see Lizamay at her performance in San Diego. "Pappy" picked me up and we headed straight for the venue. I just love San Diego so I dialed Berna to have her check on what it costs to live in and around the city. I have to give her something to do. We made our way to the tent area wher Liza was preparing for a sound check and she ran to "pappy" . "Oh! Pappy I am so glad you can do this with me". Then I stepped out from "Pappy" and little Liza seemed indifferently thrilled to see me. "Hey Margie, how's it going, now you know I don't need you tonight so don't even ask me"(pointing a shakey finger at me then with a laugh and a soft hug). Liza, babe I wouldn't dream of stepping in for you tonight, you are looking the tops doll. Now I heard that you had a few problems with your costumes in atlanta and you got a little sweaty, I said. "Yes, well you know I always get hot". I started to take of my off the should satin Top with Rhinestone clasp when... Billy Stritch said, those are the second best tits in the business as he cupped Liza's. Oh! Shut up you big fag, give Margie a hug. I handed the top to Liza and said wear this and she grabbed it. I took Billy's arm and ran across the stage to the paino and said. Let's do Moon River. Billy nodded and said, can you? Mmm, probably not so lets do "ladies who Lunch" I said. Now you're talkin... I sang and Billy played with earphones on and it was like the old times at eighty-eights or some place like that.

A little back story is in order.

You see one time Liza was performing at the winter garden back in the ... well I won't say what decade and she was a sell out every night. Though one night after a performance the party got wild and Liza was the life of the party but she became a bit crazy and ran off with Burt Reynolds and was not seen for hours... The producers were besides themselves and could not find her and she had a matinee to perform so instead of cancelling the show and getting any bad press they searched high and low for an impersonator. They could find no-one and it was 12pm, 3 hours to show time, still no Liza. Lucky me I had been walking around times square and stopped for a hot dog and was sucking down a chili dog and a gentleman grabbed me by my wrist threw me in a car and said "How'd you like to be Liza Minnelli for a few hours" I said but I have a meeting with Saul Sheinbaum for an audition for the Musical "Mammie two toes". "Forget about it babe", this is the big time" he said. It was crazy, I was rushed into the dressing room and thrown into a sequin pant suit(too big I may add).I demanded to know what was going on, all he said was. "There's 10 grand in it for you if you sit here and listen to this run through of the show". "Liza's on a bender and we need you to fill in, Last nights show was taped for the recording and you need to do the best you can to Lip Sync this show". I started to walk out when the man said, I am Fred Ebb and you will do this or I will let everyone know you were about to do an audition for a porn film. "That's not true" I said. "Saul went rough trade and is now doing porn Lady, wake up, he said. I dashed back to my chair and said MargOH!Channing will never do the casting couch or any porn, fine I'll do it but I want 20 grand and a part in your next show. He agreed and that night I was Liza for 2 hours and it was great. I was tossed around the floor by dancers who knew I didn't know the steps but they made me look fabulous. The crowd was wild and I had 18 standing ovations, they never knew... It was a dream.

Back to present Liza took to the stage for sound check and asked me to fan her and I did. Liza said, "Pappy I wanna do San Francisco, Mamma's version". They ran through it and it was fabulous. I sat there with Fan in hand and wondered how it could be that I , a little girl from Bangor, Maine could have saved the career of this legend and now having the honor to fan her, i was humbled. "Get me a gatorade", she demanded and I ran to the fridge to fetch it but then it hit me. I could do it again and I needed a little cash so I opened my purse and got two nips of vodka Jake the Jet blue attendant gave to me and put them in her gatorade. I watched her drink it and then she said "Aren't you going to put on a shirt". I was still in my Bra. "Oops I forgot". Well to no avail the booze didn't affect her at all and she went on to give another great performance in my blouse for the first act. After the show she handed me a check for 2 grand and said thanks babe. I said for what. She leaned in and said "For spiking my gatorade, it cleared up my cords or something and your not getting back this fabulous top"(she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek) "See ya back in NY Margie".

I just love my Lizamay!!!



No comments:

Post a Comment