Tuesday, August 24, 2004

My sister Rita

Hi Kids,

After my time with Liza and Pappy I was on a buzz, almost like smoking Maui Waui is that how you spell it, well I mean weed, pot, grass is what they called it in my day.
I didn't get back to NY until Thursday, just in time for the weekend but I decided to look up some family. I spent a couple hours with one of my sisters Rita Coleman, she was once married to Gary Coleman's father and now was living quite comfortably in a , must I say it, trailer park on the outskirts of San Diego. I rarely see my family but Rita is special. She has a knack for livin life day by day and never lets anything get her down and she like myself loves a drink so it's fun to get together and talk about old times and old lovers and believe me Rita has a lot."Pappy" let me use his car service and we drove to Rita's and when we arrived amongst the tumbleweeds I could not figure out which trailer was hers, they all looked the same but then I spotted one that was hot pink and I knew it must be hers so I went to the door and dusted off my mules and I knocked on the door. Now it had been some time since I saw Rita, I think it was on the set of Matlock and Rita was doing a guestspot and not to mention Andy Griffith.

Rita came to the door and I was quite taken a back, she had gained a bit of weight and she had lost some of her looks. At first I don't think she realized who it was but I said Rita , babe its MargOH! Oh! baby MargOH! You sweet little thing, she said, come on in ya old drunk,(laughing and squeezing me a bit too tight)I have not been drinking as much lately Rita, I said, just Sake. What in the hell is Sake she said as she broke open a bottle of wild turkey. No pleas, I said none for me. Aw stop that Rita said and poured me a big glass on the rocks and tossed me a bag of Pork Rinds. You are a class act Rita let me tell you and we both roared with Laughter and then I noticed that poor Rita was missing a few teeth and she told me that the alimony had run out after Gary won his lawsuit with his parents and she was living on the kindness of strangers.... and she was in the process of getting a patent on her crochet Tea kettle Cozy, she said they were selling like hotcakes at the local fleamarket.
I thought how sad it was so I pulled out 200 bucks and slapped it on the table, I have a heart ya know. It's been a rollercoaster ride for these two sisters from Bangor, Maine but we always dig our selves out of the hole somehow. Are paths have been similar but that's where the comparison ends, I'm much prettier and was never as much of a tramp. I was going to stay a couple of days but it was depressing seeing my sister, the once great character actress in such a state. I decided to take a nap because Rita had gone out to get some food, so I thought. I woke up and went into the bathroom to freshen up and when I came out "Pappies" driver was getting serviced by Rita. It made me sick, so I slapped that cock out of her mouth and dragged him out on his ear. Really, I can't go any further but lets just say Rita will not be visiting MargOH! in NY anytime soon. If anyone found out that my , well you know what I mean.... this event had me so wound up that I had to take a day at the Rancho Mirage to relax before flying back. I do love most of my family but when they get messy I just can't handle it...

Later Kids,


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