My agent shecky got me a bit part in the " American Girl" movie. I am to play "bad lady #6. I'm not sure what that means yet but hopefully I'll be able to slap a child or something to that tune.
Kids do you realize that this will be my 1809th film. I mean only porn actresses do more films than that, granted in a year or so but my career started in 1968.
Meryl Streep told me that my ability to do nothing in the background is amazing and Sally Field once told me that my fake banter oozes realism.
Shelly winters did tell me that I was the worst actress she'd ever seen but she was just jealous because Gene Hackman banged me on the set of "Poseidon Adventure"....He wouldn't give her the time of day...I can't wait to write my memoir and tell everyone how mean Shelly was to me...I don't mind spilling the beans now that she is dead. I gained 100 pounds to be her body double and then spent 18 hours in a pool while she sipped martini's with Red Buttons...witch!
Anyway I called Abigail Breslin's people to see if we can have lunch to discuss my role. I hope she likes martini's....