Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Mystery of Stoli Jones

Hey Kids,

It's been an absolute madhouse here at the Salon de Channing...MMM that sounds like a good name for a party....

Anyway, Nicky Knockers has solved the case of Stumpy Jones and his daughter Stoli. Please note I said his daughter.

The story is an absolute tragedy! Chris Hanson would love to profile this on Dateline. Then again maybe it is better suited for Ripley's believe it or not

It all started when I landed the role in "The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again". I met another actor named Stumpy Jones (so called because he had one leg). Stumpy was absolutely fascinated by me and we had a good time drinking on and off the set. He knew I was married at the time but insisted on trying to lay me. I was a bit of a slut so I did. So did Berna and so did Ruth Buzzi! I think we may have done a 4 way but my memory is a bit Fuzzy.

The shoot ended and after that Rodney my ex and I split up and I went to Bangkok.

A few months later Stumpy showed up looking for work so I let him clean up after the girls after their tricks and such.

I was done with men at this time and was always telling Stumpy to back off. I'm fairly certain that he was still banging Berna. After about a month Stumpy told me that Ruth wanted to come perform at the cabaret. Of course, I was thrilled and said yes.

Nicky told me that Stumpy and Ruth had a torrid affair after the shoot of the movie and actually were engaged for a bit. She said she found notes of Stumpy's in Minnesota saying that Ruth wanted a baby but had a "woman's issue" that kept her from carrying full term. Nicky tried to contact Ruth but she would not talk to her.

Anyway, Ruth arrived and she did a month long run. She sold out almost every night. It was a long time ago but the one thing I remember was that Ruth was constantly feeding me drinks and telling me I should drink more port. At least that's what I thought she was saying.

In fact Nicky corrected me and told me that she also found in Stumpy's letters that he wanted to use me as a vessel for he and Ruth's baby. So what she was really saying to me was "drink up, you need to be my port"

In my previous posts about this situation I thought I had been raped or forced to have sex with Stumpy and somehow Berna was involved. Nicky discovered that Stumpy had a doctor extract one of Ruth's eggs and freeze it. He brought it with him....

I think you can figure out what happened next but I'll tell you anyway. While drunk on port Stumpy snuck into my boudoir, plunged me with a turkey baster and implanted me with on of Ruth Buzzi's egg. Then he banged me!

Stumpy says in his letters that Ruth got cold feet and demanded he not do this. She had changed her mind but Stumpy went along and did it anyway. Nicky assumes Berna walked in on Stumpy filling me with his nasty seed. Stumpy goes on to say that he never told Ruth he went ahead with the plan because she dumped him right after her run at the cabaret.

Kids, it's true MargOH! was pregnant and did give birth to Stoli Jones but she is the mad creation of Stumpy Jones. Now that I think about it she does bare a resemblance to Ruth in this picture....

I must talk to Berna to see what she knows.

I'll fill you in as the pieces fall into place....

Kisses, MargOH!


  1. Hi Leilani,

    Yes, its a sorted story but I thought I should share it with all of you.....

    Live and learn...

    Kisses, MargOH!

  2. Absolutely fascinating!

  3. boosey9:27 AM

    my god MargOH! --- it's frightening. You've really had some kind of a life! Sounds like you should have done a "Gladys" on Stumpy and walloped him with your purse. And what was Berna up to all the while? I think I understand your relationship with Berna - can't live without her, can't live with her...
    Kisses, your boosey

  4. Dearest Boosey,

    I know, can you believe it! Poor Stoli is love child of Stumpy Jones and Ruth Buzzi...

    Now I have to find out how they kept the pregnancy from me. I think they were slipping me Mickey's because I can't remember anything from that year....