Monday, April 23, 2007

MargOH! into the Woods


Hey Kids,

Recently some of my pals in the UK went on a hiking retreat. I thought what a wonderful idea. To get back to nature and smell the dirt, tree's and air like when we were children. I of course loved to make mud pies, it was fun.

I had been thinking about it all day and when i went to sleep I had a dream about my mother Sully. I had a dream about something I think may have really happened.

You see then we were kids we didn't have a lot of money. My father salty died when I was eight. He was killed by a school of starfish, sucked alive. How Ironic that I would become the star that I am today.

Anyway, Sully made a meager mongers pay and we were forced to have fun cheaply. Sully would make our Barrett's out of trout bones and she even made us Mary Jane's out of salmon skins. My sister Rita and I weren't very popular at school...the salmon Mary Jane's did smell a bit.

Well, one day we came home from school and Sully told my sister Rita and I to get our camping gear ready. We were going to the Appalachian trail. We had one tent that had a hole in it so I grabbed it and we hitched a ride with a fisherman named Briney.

She rode upfront and we were in the cab. I could hear sully laughing and carrying on but then I saw her head go down and up and down and up and down. i couldn't see what she was doing but then I saw Briney hand her a 5 dollar bill.

He dropped us off at a trail and we made our way into the woods. it was getting cold even though it was July and I was getting tired. Then Sully sat my sister and I down and she told us that she heard the the hikers on the trail were doctors and lawyers and educated men. She said they carried lots of cash and we was gonna get it from them. She then took out a bottle of catchup and smeared it all over my leg and then scratched me with a big branch, ouch I yelled. Now rub that in and act like you hurt your leg.

We waited in that spot for what seemed hours but then finally a hiker approached. Now start crying Sully said and she hit me with the stick again.

Of course the hiker asked us what the problem was and Sully told him we were camping and a bear ripped our tent and attacked me. he was very concerned and looked at the cut and said it was fine. He decided to set up camp so we could stay with him. He had a big tent and playing cards, even go fish... his name was Jack he said. He was a nice man, very handsome. Sully was as charming as could be. She offered to cook the franks and beans he had. She washed his clothes down by the stream and they even sang shanty songs. It was a fun night but then I forgot why we were there.

We fell asleep but were awaken by Sully saying. C'mon lets go. She grabbed us and we ran down the trail. The sun started to peak through the tree's and i could hear a faint voice yelling. God damn woman, she stole all my money, over and over again. We got back to the road and Sully looked crazy. She laughed and danced down the road and pulled out a wad of cash. She said... "We gonna eat good this week and I'm gonna get me a new dress from the sears catalog". I asked her if I could get a new pair of Mary Jane's and she snapped at me and said "You're acting ability stinks, if you do better next time I'll get ya the damn shoes".

Then Briney sped up next to us and we hopped in the truck. She handed him some of the money. This became a weekend affair for quite a while and I never got my damn shoes even though my acting skills improved...

Years later after we had stopped our weekend jaunts,Sully got the clap and went blind in one eye so she had horrible night vision, I read an article about the mysterious women of the Appalachian trail called "The Sea witches". It told the tails of all the men Sully rolled for cash, many of the men thought we were sirens from the sea that gave love then stole hearts and money.... I swear that Sully was a tramp... and a really bad mother...

Then I thought about it. This was the only bonding time I ever had with Sully. Precious moments I guess...

Thanks to my UK pals for the lovely pic and mmaking me remember a family moment...

Kisses, MargOH!

1 comment:

  1. phoebe2:49 PM

    Glad we brought back that memory for you MargOH! Sully might not have been the ideal mother, but she sure set you up with some stories, and prepared you for the assault-course of the cabaret world.
    Also, I would have loved to have gone camping with you as a kid!
    Kisses from the forest (and soho), Phoebe xxx

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