Monday, July 09, 2007

Kobayashi meats Berna, Joey Chestnut eats MargOH!

Hey kids,

Didn't get a chance to tell you but Berna and I headed out to the Nathan's hot dog eating contest last week. Many of you don't know this but Berna was one of the first competitive eaters before it became a true sport. Her specialty was Bratwurst, she could eat that by the pounds. She loved her brat's and not only for eating but we'll talk about that another time. I feel bad for Berna sometimes because I know she gets a bit misty and Jealous of the way the sport has taken off.She is limited now because of the gastric bypass and can only eat 1/2 a bratwurst at a time. i did tell her to try rice pudding and she's working on that, old Berna what a trooper.

There were times when I was bored and would challenge old Berna to a contest. My specialty is crisps. I've been know to eat 15-17 bags of Lays potato chips in one sitting. I wash them down with vodka/tonics. The combination is yummy.

Anyway we get to Coney Island and Berna sees one of her eating pals by the name of "The Black widow". When we were in Bangkok she came to do a Pad Thai eating contest at my cabaret. The poor thing lost in a landslide to Berna but the "judge" got a little drunk drinking martini's with MargoH! that it never got recorded and Berna was screwed yet again.

She and Berna hugged and kissed and told us that after the competition she would introduce us to the great Kobayashi. She told us he was going to lose this year because he was having Jaw problems due to arthritis but she said she thought it was because he sucking too many cocks. She's a bit vindictive so i took that comment with a grain of salt.

Though her prediction was right, he lost to Joey Chestnut by a few dogs. Berna was wild during the competition, screaming and yelling, not at the contestants but more like ranting and raving in disgust because she wanted to be part of it. They had to restrain her to make sure she didn't get on camera, she can be so embarrassing.

"The Black Widow" invited us to the after party and we followed her to one of the tents. As we walked in I saw the bar and made a b-line and grabbed a martini while Berna made a b-line for Kobayashi. He jumped back and was a bit afraid but then Berna turned on the old charm and in a few moments they were laughing and carrying on like old friends. They shared a hot dog together but poor Kobayashi puked it back up. I heard Berna say "I wouldn't mind working on your hot dog" and they went behind the portable Johns...yikes.

I turned for another drink and Joey Chestnut was standing there looking all googly eyed. "Hey, I haven't seen a girl like you around here before", I replied "Well that's because I'm not a girl I'm a lady", he chuckled and spat a piece of hot dog onto my face....mmm how sweet. I took a napkin and wiped it off in hopes of later selling it on eBay.

I told Joey about my potato chip fetish and he didn't believe I could eat so many bags of chips. I told him I could and he bet me. I told him if i could eat 15 bags of Lays in 10 minutes he would have to eat me, it had been a while and there really is something sexy about a man sucking on a hot dog. He was game!

I grabbed Berna from behind the toilet and told her to go get me 15 99 cent bags of lays and make it snappy.

To make a long story short Joey was amazed at my potato chip skills but I was not as impressed. I think he should really stick to eating dogs.

Joey did tell me that I really was all that and a bag of chips. What a sweety!

Oh, by the way I haven't seen Berna since, I saw her running down the street with "The Black widow" and Kobayashi mmmm....

Kisses, MargOH!

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