Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Family Secrets

Hey kids,

It's been sometime since i've updated you all on my family and the crazy going on. I did tell you that after years of thinking my Aunt Trudie was dead she actually was alive and living in the south of france. I of course went to find her and eventually did. This opened up a whole can of worms that I wasn't expecting. To make a long story short the woman who I thought was my mother " Sully" is actually my Aunt and Aunt Trudie is actually my mother...Confused... Of course so was I...

In the next few months it was a like a whirlwind of exploration and putting the pieces of a puzzle together. Not to mention that my old mother now Aunt Sully and my old aunt now mother Trudie moved in with me along with another Aunt Fawn "tastic" Channing due to everyone falling on hard times. Well besides Sully who was asked to leave the Fishmongers retirement home in Wasila Alaska for mooning and pooping on Sarah Palin's front lawn...atta auntie

I then had to move from my Manhattan flat to Brooklyn to accomadate everyone including my gayiance MAN-ee Champagne and my wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge. I still had no room for Berna so I set her up in the walk-in closet to keep her happy. She eventually got fed up for some reason and moved in with her union buddy Jack in Jersey City...thank goodness I now have a place for my costumes...

Now I'm making this all seem like it was a piece of cake or the popping of a bottle of champagne. It wasn't!! due to the fact that my now Aunt Sully and new mother, ex aunt Trudie hate eachother. I'll get to that backstory in another post. This has to do with the fact that my father Salty was really a bad man and was banging people he shouldn't have including adopted sisters...Yes, it's true my new Mother Trudie is actually Sully's adopted sister, not Salty's sister as I had been led to believe.

Following me?

Well after doing some more digging I did find out that my new mother and ex Aunt Trudie was adopted by my grandparents. She was adopted after my grandmothers Cousin Urilla and her husband Jacob were killed in a fishing accident. The issue with this is that it was found out after doing a family tree that my father Salty's mother was also a cousin of my new mother's Trudie's mother Urilla...So Salty and Trudie are cousins. Now no one ever told my new mother Trudie she was adopted by my grandmother so she didn't know she was related to Salty...

See what happens when you keep family secrets...

What you get is

Me! MargOH! Channing and it's giving me a headache...



I will continue this after a stiff drink, a dirty martini of course to help with this headache. I can't wait to tell you what happened this weekend when I caught someone in a sex act....

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