Here is the third installment of the book..
Hester "Bones" Crabtree- Now MargOH! you spoke of a scandal about your step grandfather Jonathan Jones. What was it all about?
MargOH!-(Burp)Oh, excuse me, that cheddar cheese is so heavy. The scandal, mmm. It devastated "Snappy". She was a quivering mess. It really was a shame. Jonathan was caught giving a hummer to a sailor in the bathroom at "Scuppers".
Hester "Bones" Crabtree- Whats so bad about Humming MargOH!?
MargOH!-(Laughing, Laughing and more Laughing) You really are from Maine aren't you dear. A Hummer is a special word for cock sucking, giving head, a blow job Hester.
Hester "Bones" Crabtree- Oh! dear. I didn't know. That is terrible
MargOH!- Well, I mean it's really not terrible, I 've given quite a few in my day Hester. It can be rewarding.
Hester "Bones" Crabtree- No, I meant for your grandmother, she must have been devastated.
MargOH!- Yes, of course. "Snappy" was very proud. I think she was more upset that he did it in the bathroom. I remember them arguing about it and she said "Why couldn't you just suck it here you idiot, now everyone knows you are a queen". He was pretty stupid, even Sully knew to do everything behind closed doors. After that Jonathan lost his credibility and lost most of his local business. Not that he stopped sucking cock, mind you. "Snappy" started hiring rather gay butlers after that to keep Mr. Jones in the house. She really was a smart woman and she even hired one for herself. In the end they were a very happy couple. We moved out right after that mess. My daddy "salty" finished the new house. It was cute, it had a bathroom, very swank (laughing).
Hester "Bones" Crabtree- How many rooms did this home have?
MargOH!- it was huge, it was a cape style. I think it had 6 or 7. Rita and I had our own rooms, so it was 3 bedrooms. Daddy did a great job, it was pretty. Of course Sully complained about everything. She drove him mad with her complaining, nothing was good enough for her. She became more of a nightmare when she won the state chowder cook off at the local fair. It was actually a lobster bisque. It was the first time a bisque had won. She ran around the house drinking scotch and making demands saying "I'm the chowder queen and you must do as I say". She rubbed it daddy's face because he entered his seafood chowder and didn't place, he was defeated.
Please, I won "Little Miss Crabclaw" at the fair and it wasn't even acknowledged. Well "Snappy" was there. One of the butlers made me this fabulous gown, with a fishtail of course. I performed one of "Snappy's" original songs "Blow Jonny Blow". It was a big hit. Sully even took my tiara and wore it, she was such an attention hog , really.
I was almost eight when Sully went too far and daddy got really drunk on his shine, they had a big fight. He broke her chowder cook-off trophy and she went ballistic. Rita and I were hiding under the table for the devil came out of that woman that night. I swear her head spun around and everything. She tried to stab daddy but he got out of the house. It was the last time we saw him (MargOH! grabs a tissue, crying)
Berna Bring me a dirty martini, I'm not sure if I can go on.
Hester "Bones" Crabtree- Are you OK? MargOH!, its important we get the whole story. Berna make me one too.
Berna- Oh, sure! I'll get it for you Hester. Oh, Please stop that whining, at least you had a father ya old whore. here's your drinks. it's only 8:30 am ya know. Guess the 12pm rule is out the door.
Hester "Bones" Crabtree-Berna, do you have t be so mean, really. This is not easy for MargOH! It's hard to go down memory lane.
MargOH!- Oh, that's okay Hester, Berna's a mean old bitch, no matter(Takes a Huge sip). Get me another Bern.
Now, yes. I can do this. It was the last time we saw daddy alive, that is. He stumbled out of the house. He was missing for a week before they found him by the Jetty down in Bar Harbor. They said they found him dead covered in Starfish, sucked alive. I'll never forget it. Ranger Bob came to the door and told us daddy was dead and Sully didn't even cry. She took the starfish Ranger Bob gave her that he said they pulled off his mouth and handed it to me and said. "Here's something to remember your father by. I started to cry. Then Sully said "Don't cry Haddie(MargOH!'s real name), he wasn't your real father anyway, your real father is a man named Briney Boggs".
I stood there in shock holding a dead starfish (crying). Rita hugged me and Sully gabbed her purse and left the house. I felt very alone and confused.
Hester "Bones" Crabtree- My goodness, MargOH! I didn't know. How horrible! I think we should take a break.
MargoH!- Yes, that would be best. I need to call my agent Shecky anyway and see why Willard Scott got my voice over gig for "Smuckers". That old coot!
I'll be back...