Friday, May 01, 2009

Berna's a Shop lifter

Hey Kids,

I could not believe it when I got a call this morning from Susan Boyle asking me
for money to bail Berna out of a London police station for petty theft and to ship her back to the US. She can't afford the bad publicity she says...

Isn't this rich? Berna takes off on me for the new big thing and gets caught stealing
a case of face hair removal cream for Ms. Boyle...Then I'm asked to clean up the mess. I knew berna had sticky fingers over the years but honestly stealing from a pound shop is a bit sad really.

I say let her sit in the slammer for a few days, don't ya think? Susan said she thought I was terrible for paying Berna $25 a week since 1968 and because of me she is forced to steal and hung up on me.

How did I become the bad person???? I told Susan that beyond the money I give Berna she eats and drinks a lot for free. I even paid for her gastric bypass surgery....what more does a wardrobe mistress and light duster expect...look at what happened to poor Liza after paying $250k a year to a chauffer, nothing but heartache...It's not like I ask Berna to have sex too...what a revolting thought...

You know when berna gets back she is getting a pay cut...that'll teach her...

Kisses, MargOH!


  1. that berna, she's the bane of your life MargOH!, but it's love/hate right? I know those kind of relationships... they're always the ones that really get to you! I'm surprsed that old Berna hasn't been puting her oar in on the Eurovision Song Contest... which is next saturda... I can really see her and Andrew Lloyd Webber getting emeshed, somehow...

  2. The thing is Berna is just there, I never asked for her, she was handed to me, she's like a very large puppy that I need to take care of..even though she is pesky I do get a little lost without her...Oh, Berna wrote a couple of songs but of course they are vulgar and inappropriate for Television, sort of like "There was a gal from nantucket" bawdy songs...she's horrible...

    xo, M

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