I've sorted through what was left of the sessions I recorded with Hester and had my gay Fiance MAN-ee put them on paper for me. I am still going forward with my auto-biography even though Hester was up to no good. It made me realize even more how important it is for me to tell my story. In the days of lack of talent and drive I think it is good for the young kids to know what it's like to struggle to be a star..don't ya think?
Hester Bones Crabtree- How was your swim?
MargOH!- Oh, delicious. You know Hester even though I left home at such a young age the sea is in my blood. I always feel my best when I'm near the water.
Hester Bones Crabtree- I feel the same way, I guess we're Maine girls at heart after all. Now we were just about to get to your leaving the hall and aunt Trudie
MargOH!- Oh, yes. I left the hall and wandered away from Sully and Rita. I could hear Rita say "Sully, Haddie's gone, where'd she go?". I'm not sure what Sully said in response but that was last I'd here there voices for quite a while, I feel sad about it now but at the time I just couldn't run any faster down 7th avenue I was banging into people and I fell a few times, I just ran and ran but then I almost came head on into a delivery truck and stopped dead in my tracks. I was so out of breathe that I lay on the sidewalk for a moment and looked up and couldn't believe that buildings went up that far, it looked amazing. It was then I realized that I was all alone with no where to go. I sifted through my jacket pockets and pants to find only two dollars and the bottle of jack I was holding for Sully. I thought "Haddie what in the hell are you going to do, where are you going to go?" Right at that very moment a Seagull landed right in front of me and stared deep into my eyes.
At first I thought "A Seagull on 7th ave?" but then it walked towards me and pecked me on the cheek oh so gently. It was like i was kissed by an angel because at that moment I heard the voice of my daddy salty say. "AAAArgggggh, don't forget you have your aunt Trudie that lives on Delancy Street". That's right, I thought my daddy salty told me he had a sister named Trudie that live on delancy street in NYC. He said she hated Sully and never came to visit. He also said she was a very eccentric woman who had been to prison on a morals charge.
So Hester I pulled myself up and that seagull jumped on my shoulder. It was like my guardian angel. I took a swig of that Jack to warm up my chill and set out to find Delancy Street. You know Hester that Bird stayed with me the whole time until I found the street and it pecked me again and flew off.
Hester Bones Crabtree- You know, MargoH! I bet it was your father, how touching.
MargOH!- yes, I believe it was salty looking out for me but I'd wish he'd stayed until I found her. I had to start asking people if they knew my Aunt Trudie. I was getting nowhere. So i did what any twelve year old girl would do or at least what Sully would do and I hiked up my skirt and got slutty or what I call "Sullying it up". I had everyone coming up to me in no time. Finally an old gal yelled out "Yeah Trudie owns the pub down the way, you know the one with the back room for the peppermint patties, if you know what I mean kid and she cupped my breasts. I didn't know exactly what she was talking about so I pushed her out of the way and ran down to the pub and ran inside and screamed out "Aunt Trudie"
Hester Bones Crabtree- You must have been relieved to find her, how exciting!
MargOH!- Well, Aunt Trudie wasn't the warmest person upon meeting me. She yelled out from behind the bar" Yeah, I'm Trude who in the hell are you?". She made her way from behind the bar. She looked nothing like my father, he was very thin but Aunt Trudie was a sturdy woman with big broad shoulders and tree trunk legs. She had several tattoo's and a broken front tooth. Then she gave me the once over twice, I started to tremble a bit. Then she said " Oh, wait a minute you gotta be my brothers kid, unfortunately you got your mother eyes but an awfully nice set of tits for a girl your age, what your name again, she added.
"It's Haddie, well Haddock but Haddie for short", I said. Trudie then responded " You're mother is a complete ass and cruel to have named you after stinky fish, she laughed a very hearty laugh for several minutes". I wasn't quite sure what to do then her face got stern again and she said " You runaway from home, Kid?". I answered " Yes". Trudie then said "well if you're gonna stay here you gotta work and you gotta change that name of yours then she opened up her big meaty Arms and said "Welcome to MargOH!'s kid", and i fell into her arms. Then she pulled me away and said "I'll just call you MargOH!, that's the name MargoH!, you can be like the pub mascot" she said.
Then she led me into the backroom and yelled out "Listen up all you dyke's butch and fem alike this is my niece MargOH! and she's gonna be staying with me for a while so keep your paws off her unless I say it's ok". I trembled and took a deep breath and realized the room had a faint smell of stale beer and pickled herring and I slumped my shoulders and said to myself "Yuk, just like Home".
Hester Bones Crabtree- So it seemed like you went from one unpleasant situation to another MargOH!
MargOH!- Well, I mean in a way. Aunt Trudie was very different from Sully, she wasn't as demanding or as mean but she'd slap you around if you got outta line, she never did with me, I actually think she loved me and after I told her salty wasn't my real daddy and that we weren't really related she really loved me if you know what I mean Hester.
Hester Bones Crabtree- Oh, dear. I think I get it, Oh dear!
MargoH! -The other thing about Aunt Trudie was that she was a performer in every way. You wouldn't know it by looking at her but she had a certain musical flare that was very exciting and her piano guy Morty was great, very similar to my piano guy Jarad. He had a way of playing for Aunt Trudie that made her sound pretty good. That night when I arrived she sang "Big Spender", it was fantastic, she growled through that song, it was her best number, well I mean she was that song, she lived that song. It was Aunt Trudie that really molded me and I was and am grateful to her. She made me tough and in this business kid that's what you gotta be tough.
Oh, dear I spilled my champagne, would you get me another Hester darling.
Hester Bones Crabtree- Oh, of course MargoH! Aunt Trudie is so fascinating, You obviously loved her, tell me more, here you go.
MargoH!- actually Hester I'm getting a little tired and the sun is too hot. Can we continue later.
Hester Bones Crabtree- Oh, yes of course but I'd like to get to your time in Bangkok as soon as possible.
MargoH!- Oh, really? Well we have a bit to go before that? Really, it wasn't my favorite time but we'll get to it,go chill another bottle of champers Hester.
Kids, I'll be back with more of my story and my year end lists...