Fun at the US Open

Hey Kids,

I'm a huge tennis fan! Yes, a tennis fan and I even like to play, I love the way my tennis skirt ripples in the wind and makes me keep up on my bikini wax.

Any who, the other night we went to See Raaaffaaaa play and it was a celebrity fuck fest. I always dish out a little to Tony Bennett to sit in his box and honey I ain't talking about money...

Tony is a gem and he's still got it! Well about half way through the match the camera flashed on Michael Phelps and i had to say hi so I excused myself from Tony's box and made a quick step over to Michael's suite.

Well, I stopped for a Coney Island Foot long with Kraut, a girls gotta eat!

I knocked on the door and to my surprise he opened the door and opened his arms with Glee..."Auntie MargOH! I didn't know you'd be here, let's party, wanna smoke?" Michael said.

You see Michael's mother and I Debbie Sue go back a long time, she keeps this quiet but we did a few films together of the adult nature, I think they were called "Do you know the way to San Pusse' 1 and 2 or something...

They were only sold in Mexico...

I pushed my way in and couldn't believe my eyes, girls half naked, I was for sure he swung the other way..

Whatever the case there wasn't much tennis watching going on so I grabbed a drink and told Michael to keep it down about the weed so we could have it for ourselves.

We popped into his limo and smoked a little, it was good stuff!

Then things started getting crazy, he started rubbing my leg and telling me he always wanted Auntie MargOH!

Then he switched on "Buttons" by Pussycat Dolls and started undressing.

I tried to stop him but then I started feeling the effects of the weed and thought, Oh, what the hell, lets see what he's got!

Kids, what he's lacking for looks he makes up for down town, but then the vision of Debbie Sue taking it in both ends popped into my head and I snapped out of it and pushed him away and said "Auntie MargOH! don't play that".

I told him with a cock like that he should find a nice boy. I buttoned up my blouse and started getting out when he said "Auntie MargOH! I love you". I replied, "I Love you to,do you have $100 bucks?", I need a souvenir signature US open drink and they ain't cheap" and the doll handed me a few hundred...

The other part of this story is who I went with and that was with my wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge. I heard from Tony later that she went up to the ESPN booth and started hassling poor Pam Shriver.

I guess they got into quite a brawl. Berna told me when she got home the next day that she spent the night in hospital. She said she barked up the wrong tree or should I say amazon. Pam is about 6'3 and towered over poor Berna who is only 5'11 and 3 bucks...

I guess Pam punched her and sent her tumbling down onto a group of children with big autograph balls, thank goodness...

Don't go messing with Pam Shriver Kids...Tennis can be dangerous!!!

XO, MargOH!