Me and Nicky Knockers

Hey kids,

I've hired an investigator to look into Berna's dealings as far as Stoli(my alleged daughter) goes. I firmly believe that Berna(my former wardrobe mistress) is the birth mother of twins. She is ruthless and if true I'm going to kill her. I knew I couldn't have given birth, tight as a whistle I am and not a stretch mark in sight.

I've hired an old friend of my sister Rita, Nicky Knockers. She is an ex-dancer gone private eye. I met with her at a dark and dreary bar. It was all very "Night Stalker". She even wore a trench coat, a cap and sunglasses. Very Old school.

She gathered the information I had and is on her way to Bangkok to find out more details and also look for the whereabouts of the other child. Hopefully the other child will be nicer than Stoli, what a freaking nightmare. She drinks all my booze then goes to Bungalow 8. The other night she came home with some New Jersey 18 year old..I told her no bridge and tunnel freaks. i gotta get her another job. I think I'll call Rosie again to see if they'll give her a second chance as a PA on "The View"...She did audition for "All my Children" but then they found out she had been a fluffer for some porn films and told her to get lost. Please, how soon they forget about Susan Lucci's past....I could ruin her.

Any who, I feel confident that Nicky Knockers will solve this case. Who can do a better job than an ex porn actress, Stripper and call girl....They Know how to get down and dirty.

I'll keep you updated.

Motherhood is a burden...

Kisses, MargOH!