Back Home

Hey Kids,

Guess what, The board of my old building reconsidered my eviction after that little party we had for my sister Rita... So I am happy to say Berna and I packed up and left Robin Byrds pad yesterday. I want to thank Robin for her generosity and all of those calling cards to use her sex lines... It was a blast.

Glenda our super really went out on a limb for Berna and I and slept with the top male board member to ensure our living quarters. It was her that made disgusting sexual acts in the hallway the lead to our being evicted, that slut. I did tell her it best that she uses her body for bribes and favors rather than just plain sex.

Of course, Shirley Bassey was thrilled to have us back... She knows the booze is always a step away rather than having to walk to the package store...

Oh jeez, gotta go. I'm off to a waxing and a high colonic... I need to be flushed kids...

I'll be back with more updates of all the parties, The Star Jones one is ar least 2 pages and will take me some time to jot down,

Here's another pic of the show.

Enjoy kids,

Kisses, MargOH!

Happy Holiday weekend

Hey Kids,

I'm of to a BBQ at Dame Shirley Bassey's... It should be a rollicking good time. I hear Joan collins and Marissa Berenson are coming. Then we're headed over to watch Liza for a 4th concert being shot tonight on the east river, how fitting for Liza. I hope she doesn't throw me in...

I'll update you on the Star Jones Reynolds party at Barbara Walters and Shirley's party after the holiday... I'm gonna be busy, busy, busy


Kisses, MargOH!

The MargOH! Channing Variety Hour Pictorial II

Hey Kids,

More pics of the show...

MargOH! as liza, MargOH!'s life story on a table, MargOH! about to show her cooter and MargOH! just gorgeous..

Enjoy kids

I'm just about to run over to Barbara Walters for a "Demise of Star Jones Reynolds" Party. I got the gorgeous embossed invitation this morning, WaWa is quick.. FYI The pic of star on it is when she was still fat....I'll let you know who is there!!

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! Channing Variety Hour Pictorial part I

Hey Kids,

Here are some pics of the show...

MargOH! as Judy, MargOH! with Jeff and Jarad and MargOH! w/ Ann Carr

Intimate Nights

Hey Kids,

I went to a fabulous show last night. It was to promote the updated version of "intimate nights" which chronicles the history of cabaret, it is an updated version.

The show was fantastic with Blossom Dearie, Nellie McKay, Baby Jane Dexter, Julie Wilson and the fun but a little smelly Kiki and Herb. I'm not sure if Mr. Mellman knows his suit is a bit musty... Fun none the less.. Kiki's a drinkin type of gal like MargOH! but I have a few less wrinkles...

We had front row seats and were close to the stage, a bit too close but it was great to see some of the greats go to it, fantastic.

Afterwards I got to speak with Nellie and her darling mother Robin and Nellie will most likely be a guest in one of my cabaret's if we can figure out a time that fits her schedule.... How grand... If I can get her i may even do it at Joe's Pub kids which would mean MargOH! has arrived....

I had a fabulous extra dirty martini and an extra dirty conversation with John Wallowich, another cabaret legend, he was hot to trot for my director Jeff, that pesky old thing was tryin to pick up MargOH!'s beard, what an ass... I was feeling a bit Lesbian last night with all those hot ladies on stage... I'm bad

It was a fun evening and I'm glad I went so run out and buy this book "Intimate Nights". It is a good read, the cabaret people are a bit down and dirty just like little old MargOH!

Kisses, The Big M

The reviews are in!!!

Hey Kids,

Here's a few reviews of "The MargOH! Channing Variety Hour and 10 minutes"


"MargOH! Channing is brilliant, a comedy genius, next stop broadway, we wanted to hose her down"- The FDNY

"MargOH! lights up the stage like the inside of a Tuna Can". "She never lets us down"- The Bangor Box Weekly

"MargOH! Channing makes me sick... with Laughter- Mickey Rooney

"MargOH! sucked the life out of me but Ann Carr, Jeff Catlow and Jarad Astin were terrific"- The Fishmonger daily

"It was a pleasure to hear MargOH! ruin my song "New Girl in Town", what a voice on her, like cats being run over by an MTA bus" - Linda Lavin

"Who in the hell is MargOH! Channing?, I'm not going to her show"- Vincent Canby

"It was amazing, Ann Carr was a hoot, Jeff Catlow has a gorgeous voice , Jarad Astin was killer on Piano, MargOH!'s costumes were awesome"- a drunk audience member


I'll post pics asap and video soon kids. Now I must get back to getting out on the town.

Going to Joe's Pub tonight for a cabaret retrospective, I'll fill you in soon!!!

Kisses, The big M

MargOH! is now a Published Poet, check it out

Hey Kids,

This is a very exciting time for old MargOH!

Not only was my show a personal triumph and I must thank everyone involved.

My darling Jeff Catlow for his brilliant direction and outstanding vocal Performance to "Strangers in the Night". It was gorgeous!!

To The lovely Ann Carr and her brilliant character Hickory Thicket. You are the best!!! Funnier than any gal I know..

Thank you to my darling Jarad Astin for his Haunting piano playing and his comic relief that was well needed... He is the best piano player in the world according to MargOH!

Sam Rowan who stepped in as my wardrobe mistress due to Berna's inability to make me happy!!! Sam did a bang up job for little old MargOH! and she really knows how to handle the pressure of Handling MargOH!... Love ya Kiddo

Rob Rowan for his advice and just being an all around swell guy!!

Jessie Kempf for her initial piano guidance, she is the second best piano player in the world to MargOH! and use of her lovely apartment for rehearsals..Bravo my love

Ken Kleiber for filming my little show for his Big TV show "Thats Kentertainment"
Love ya baby!!!

Nathan exposed for his fabulous podcast that got some of my Gays to come and check me out!! Thanks doll!!!

To Mike Dantico for being my bestest friend, kisses Doll

To all the fans that came to support me and you know who you are, I love you all!!!


Now Kids Miss Channing is also a published poet in "The Literary Pride Supplement" from "The Windy City Times"... I linked it

I entered my poem for their consideration and was chosen to be published. I am very excited about this. It is titled "MargOH! and Nellie" and is about my friendship with
singer, songwriter and Broadway star Nellie McKay.

Nellie was one of the first guests I had on my Talk show and she even came back for my christmas special. She is a darling marvelous woman and I just adore her.She is an advocate for gay marraige and animal rights, things that are very close to MargOH! as well. She is just the best

I wrote it as a statement about how different people from different walks of life can come together to make art and be peaceful human beings. Acceptance for life, love and the freedom to express ourselves any way we choose....

Now I need a drink, it's all so grand... Cheers Kids

kisses, MargOH!

A Smashing success

Hey Kids,

I had my show last night and it was a smashing success. I will post some pics and video soon. I'm a little hung so I'll update you more when I have had some more champagne and get my day going....

Thanks for all the support kids!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Berna lost a Ton

Hey Kids,

I just had to tell you that Berna has practically Slimmed down overnight!!!

At first after her gastric bypass she really didn't seem to lose any weight. I even caught her eating a double whopper w/ cheese and a milkshake, terrible girl.


The other day she went out with Rufus Wainwright before one of his "Judy" shows at carnegie hall and when she came back, she said she felt like Rufus had given her a spiritual awakening when she watched him rehearse.... Not sure why she was even with him.... anyway, she said after Rufus's sister martha sang "Stormy Weather" she started vomiting and vomiting until she passed out in a pool of sick.

When she walked through the door I couldn't believe it. She looked like she had lost 100 pounds... It was amazing.

Berna said that she puked up her guts and felt light as a feather. I guess everything she had eaten got caught in that little stomach and was just hanging out... but after hearing all that Rufus wainwright singing it made things start moving. Listen , I am all for Rufus but honestly that high pitch screeching can get a bit tiresome!!!!!

Well anywho, Berna got on the scale and believe it or not she lost 70 pounds.. Wow!!!
Thank god, i ran out and bought her some super slimmy low rise jeans I got at the Gap and they almost fit... just a few more pukes and she'll be in em...

This is a breakthrough for Big ole Berna and I'm thrilled for her....

This means she'll be able to do windows again without breaking them!!!!


Kisses, MargOH!

Lights, Camera, Action

Hey Kids,

Yesterday I went to "The Duplex" for my Tech rehearsal.

Unfortunatly they sadly told me we couldn't use the Pyrotechnic machine with the large bursts of fireworks and smoke.... It took poor Berna a month to put that together.

We will trudge along with a basic lighting scheme I suppose.... I don't like to do anything small kids!!

It will look gorgeous and stunning so don't fret... My hair will be the biggest thing on stage... Oh I mean the bottle of Champers may be a tad bigger....

See ya at the party kids

Kisses, MargOH!

Kisses From MargOH! Podcast w/Nathan Exposed

Hey Kids,

Check out my Podcast on Itunes. Just go to Podcasts and search Nathan Exposed. Look for the title of Kisses from MargOH!

I love the Podcast but I think I sound a bit Manly.... I'm not sure why....it must be the podwaves.


Nathan talks about Tuna as well, how fitting being that I am a fishmongers daughter.

Check it out Kids!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

I'll be back

Hey kids,

I've been so busy with the show I am at a loss for blogging right now... I will try my best to jot some things down. If I don't I will be back stronger then ever on June 22, the day after my Cabaret Debut Kids...

Don't forget I will be on a Podcast with Nathan Exposed coming soon. I'll keep you posted when that will be... Nathan is such a sweetie

Kisses, MargOH!

The Wicked Rogue of The Republican Party

Hey Kids,

If I've said it once, I've said it twice... This Bitch is crazy.

Look into those crazy Republican eyes.Pools of love for the war in Iraq
and everything that includes selling her stupid Moronic Books.

I know kids MargOH! is getting serious but this slag gets my goat... She makes want to down a bottle of vodka in 5 seconds.. Oh I already do that!!

Please don't buy this womans books, she is insane.

She must have forgotten who the first person was to use a widow's grief for political gain. Our President

I remember it like yesterday when Bushy addressed us after the 9/11 attacks. Seated right next to The sad first lady Laura Bush was a 9/11 widow... I think her husband was on one of the planes. He hung her out there like a carrot for his call on this endless war on terrorism.

I will say this one more time...

Ann Coulter is a vile, evil woman... She is absolutely nuts and a power hungry minx.

If you see this woman in the street please look and run the other way!!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

To the lovely women who have tirelessly worked to get answers from our government I applaud you.



Kisses, MargOH!

So Busy

Hey Kids,

I have been so busy I have not been able to sit down and write. I did have a great weekend , rehearsing and enjoying a BBQ at Mickey and Jan Rooney's. Those two are a couple of old drunks.... everything was marinated in Jack Daniels.

Mickey was giving me pointers on a dance number I'm doing and threw out his back. I felt terrible but Jan tossed him on the ground and walked on his back with her bare feet. She asked me to get a rolling pin from the kitchen. I wondered why? Mickey was screaming in anguish. I handed the rolling pin to her and she clocked him in the head. He was out cold. I stood there in a silent panic but Jan said, it's the only way to keep him quite while I get out the kinks.. Most of the time he starts yelling about Louis B Mayer but I am so sick of the whining she said.

About 5 minutes later Mickey woke up just as Jan had finished rolling out his back.

He got up like nothing had happened and hugged Jan and then proceeded to eat a half rack of Ribs...

Now that's love kids....

Kisses, MargOH!

Liz Taylor Mad as Hell after Larry King appearance

Hi Kids,

Did anyone see that living Doll Liz Taylor on Larry King...

Well Liz called me because she knows I am heavily connected in the Spokesmodeling
field and once sold a "fat blaster" in Bangkok that was a huge success... Well a huge success for my wallet but somehow no one lost any weight... It's not my fault people have no will power.. Berna get me my 0 Trans-Fat Lays would ya doll..

Anywho Liz is starting to sell her jewelry so she wanted the number to my friend, "The Maria Callas of Spokesmodeling" Miss Hickory Thicket. I of course gave her the number but she ended up chewing my ear off at what an Ass Larry King is.
She also said she thinks he's gone a bit senile himself.

She was pissed that he was so confused about what was her personal Jewelry and what was part of her upcoming items for Purchase. She said the only reason she went on was to market her crap, oh I mean Lovely jewelry. I also set Liz up with some cheap labor in Bangkok to get the crap, I mean lovely Jewelry made. Don't forget Kids that I ran a 25 seat Cabaret/Bordello/Escort service in Bangkok for many years...

Liz also stopped shipment on the necklace she sent to Larry's wife as a good gesture..

If I've learned one thing about Liz. Don't mess with Miss Taylor or she'll make sure life is not so pleasant but in the nicest possible way. I tried to sell an old bottle of white diamonds on ebay and I was sent a cease and assist order... She has people everywhere watching over her royalties....

I do agree with Liz, Larry needs to listen a little better, maybe a Q-tip would help.

Poor, Poor Liz


Kisses, Kids

Cookin out with Beck

Hi Kids,

I hope you all had a great holiday weekend..

I did as I was invited to Beck's apartment for a rooftop soiree. Yes, the singer Beck.. Kids don't forget that MargOH! moves in many circles..

It was a fun night and there were may celebs there as well but we had to sign a confidentiality agreement to get in so I can't divulge much...

I was surprised at the number of chubby girls there though but somone told me Beck loves a lady with a little meat on her. It must be he's so thin that he craves fat!!

The food was okay seeing most of it was vegan... I did create a bit of a stir when i walked in with a tray of Lobster salad... Edward furlong almost tackled me and fell right off the roof. Thank goodness Marty Tyler Moore wasn't there or I would have been skinned alive.. its just that Lobster gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling of home, I am a fighmongers daughter afterall!!! I still remember Sully slicing into those live lobsters... Oh! now I realize why people get upset... killed alive..but its so tasty.. anyway

There is nothing like a rooftop cook out in NYC, it's very chic and a bit dangerous. I tripped over a dice that Jack black was shooting craps with and nearly broke my heel. I ended up spending most of the evening talking with Will Wikle.. He's a gay from a show on Logo. He's really inter.. well actually a real bore but he just wouldn't shut up and he kept saying "Hi, I'm Will Wikle" as people passed by looking confused.. He did have the only bottle of Kettle one so I didn't want to stray too far...

Oh crap i gotta go. Berna has set me up with a dance class to practice my high kicks..

I'll have to continue later, Oh honestly, it wasn't that fun of a party, sorry Kids.
Becks a little cute thing but he needs a little party planner!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Play it again Hugh

Hey Kids,

Does anyone else think it's best that Hugh Hefner go into exile, never to be seen again.

Kisses, MargOH!

When I'm Searched Top 5

Hey Kids,

Since Berna's been tracking my blog she has come to the conclusion that most that read my blog are perverts, drunks and gays. This little hobby of Berna's keeps her occupied all hours of the day.. no wonder I had to step over my pooch Kim Fungs crap in the hall yesterday. Berna is so lazy.

Anyway Berna has come up with the top 5 list of what people search for... then find
Margarita's, Mojito's and Martini's... My life story

1. Thongs (I much prefer them as a slingshot so I can pelt Berna with peanuts)
2. Mojito's (My favorite Drink)
3. Nellie McKay (My darling Nellie)
4. Glenda the Super (Now this one baffles me)
5. Old Drunk (They must be looking for Dame Edna)

And last but not least I have a hit just today by "The Melbourne City Council".
http://melbournecitycouncil.blogspot.com/.

The last time I saw Dame Edna Everage she said she was going to recommend me for the city council. I had no idea what she was talking about. Talk about an old Drunk!!

Tinkling for Me

Hey Kids,

Now I am not getting into water sports... you all have filthy minds...

I actually have a new Piano player for my upcoming show. I know, I know, "The Show"
it seems it's all I talk about and do lately.... It's just that when MargOH! does something she throws her whole body into it.. If i'm drinking a Martini I have to look perfect drinking it. If i get hired to do an extra role i make sure I am seen and annoy everyone... I am a pro and this show is important to little old MargOH!...
So bite it!!!!!... LOL Just kidding

Anyway my original Piano gal Jessie was called away on a covert secret operation having to do with global warming... mmmmm I wonder if she may be warming up to Al Gore... Anyway my darling Jessie had to drop out so I had to find a replacement which is hard to do because she is wonderful.

Berna and I held auditions and we fell right into a trance with our Choice Jarad Astin. He is a Hep Kat kind of guy with a blues and Jazz style. I like him!!!

He's not bad on the eyes if ya know what I mean!!!!

I am very excited to have him on board and he has already bonded with berna. i won't go into any more detail on that... I do think he lends a bit of Edge to my show and latley I'm feeling Edgy.....

I put a little link so you can check out Jarad's CueZone records.
www.cuezonerecords.com


Kisses, MargOH!

Show promo

Hey Kids,

Working on my show Promo. Berna threw this one together and I think it's edgy.

Edgy for a 58 year old gal... Yes, I turned 58... I'm sick over it but ya know I look damn good for 58.. My tits are still firmly sagging... I only have had to have minor cosmetic procedures... No Joan Rivers moments for me yet... I still do my heavy lifting..... Martini Glasses are heavy these days ya know...and I still am quite active in every sense of the word...

I met this lovely 20 something on Saturday on my way to the bathroom at my birthday dinner and we had a little encounter over the sink, just lovely... well anyway i'm getting off track.

Here's the Promo...Berna's gotta work on the font, its a bit small...

And she can't spell, the poor dear but her gastric bypass makes her a little dizzy sometimes due to the lack of protein. I'm constantly having to prop her up against the shelves at Trader Joes wine shop

Kisses, MargOH!

Maxim for the Minimum

Hey Kids,

I went to the Maxim party the other night and it was... A mess.

I've never seen so many scantily clad babes and Horny D list Men in my Life.

I went with Sally Kirkland... We almost didn't get in but Sally flashed her saggy boob and told security to go fuck themselves as she screamed " I am an academy Award Nominee so get the fuck out of our Way"... Very Scary.

I am running out for a birthday lunch with Mindy Cohn. She is so sweet for taking me out.

This is a long story about Maxim and Mindy is ringing the Bell so I am off. "Berna get my rain gear, it's a pouring out"

Be back with the Maxim report.

Kisses, MargOH!

Dinner with Chris Daughtry

Hey Kids,

I was out and about on Sunday and had a nosh at Spice market after I landed from the spa and the place was completely a buzz.

I was with Berna and Kid Rock's niece Pesky Ricketts. Pesky helps me from time to time with my PR but I think I'm dropping her because now she only has 3 teeth left. She did a lot for old Kid but now only has a few Little people and me as clients.

Well anyway, the place was nuts, people bending their necks to look at someone so of course I had to check it out. Pesky said "It's Chris Daughtry from Idol". He must be looking for PR. She started to run to the table so I ran after her and grabbed her by the arm and she tripped right into a waiter and threw me right into his booth. I actually bounced right into his lap.

I of course coped a feel of his crotch in order to get myself up. "Chris I am so sorry", I said. "She was about to bother you about PR matters". He was very gracious but looked at me very strangely, almost like he knew me. "MargOH!", he said. "Yes, doll, I'm MargOH! Channing". I was a bit perplexed.

Chris went on to tell me how He got a whole bunch of naughty cards from me over the past few weeks, fan mail... I was baffled because I had no idea what he was talking about. He said , "Yeah I will never forget the handful of support you let me see". "I really appreciate it", he added.

He asked if I would like to join him for Dinner but we had been called to our table so I politely excused myself and gave him a peck on the cheek. He added " I loved you as Dusty Lady in "Alexander". " You are so nice Chris,thank you, doll", I added

I rushed away and grabbed berna by the boob and said. " What in the hell did you do"?

Of course she replied with, "Well I was a little bored when I was recovering and took some pics of you in the shower and nude in bed. " I decided to send them to Chris for some inspiration Maggie".

"I ought to get rid of you as well as Pesky, He's a married man". Not that that has stopped me before. "You should have told me so I wouldn't have been off guard, he said he liked my tits", I added.

"Berna you're gonna get it"....

Oh Crap, that's right. No reason to watch Idol now with those contestants left, yuk...I guess Elliot is the best one left...


Kisses, MargOH!

It's Happened

Hey Kids,

I did have a bit of a breakdown so I actually flew the coop this morning and headed out to Palm Springs for some R&R.

I as you know am having living arrangement issues and am currently planning to stay at Robin Byrd. Berna is moving as I type but I let her handle that.

I also am having other issues with chakra's. Things are not lining up right now. It seems as if everyone is letting MargoH! down right now. I can't get into specifics but my management of things seems to be spinning out of control. It's not like I ask for much....or is it? mmmm

I figured it must be because my birthday is fast approaching and so is 60. I am following right behind Cher, Liza, Suzanne Somers, its not easy to be gorgeous at 50 something but I do try anyway.

I thought it best to dry out in the Desert rather than go for the Extra dry Gin. I will have champagne though. I ordered a fountain from the spa so i won't have to worry about opening bottles. I decided to take the pooch Kim Fung with me. I hope she can lend some faithful support.

"Please miss can't you see I'm typing", "I'll have a stoli martini-up extra dirty and some cashews".

These stewards are so pesky, unless I want a drink at 30 thousand feet....

Okay, well gotta go. I just saw Leslie Gore. She owes me a few bucks from a poker game at Connie Francis's a few months ago.... She better pay up!!!!


Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH!'s Headed for a Breakdown

Hey Kids,

It's as simple as that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A Breakdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ruined it for David Blaine

Hey Kids,

Berna and I high tailed it up to Lincoln center to see David Blaine try to hold his breath for nine minutes.

I really just wanted to see his hot body very wet. I mean really would anyone care if he weren't so damn sexy, yawza...

Well when we got up there I started selling dirty martini's outof my portable suitcase bar that was owned by Elvis. Lisa Marie gave it to me many years ago for a favor I did for her, thats another story all together. Anyway I was only charging 5 bucks a drink so they were selling like hotcakes.. made 80 bucks.... I of course was sampling my wares and got a little tipsy and faught through the crowd to get a look. I was amazed by the fishbowl and also my reflection off of it was gorgeous.

I waved to David and he spotted me. I could see it in his eyes and he gave a little wave. The moment was coming for him to hold his breath and it got very tense. The crowd also got pissed I shut down the bar.

I decided to give David a little inspiration and lifted my shirt at about the 6 minute 30 second mark and he got very excited. Thats when he lost it and all the bubbles started coming out. He couldn't control his lust for me I guess.

I feel bad, well not really. I sent him a sympathy card this morning and wished him better luck next time.

I hope I didn't ruin his trick with my perky bossoms!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Off to a fitting

Hey Kids,

I just got back from GG's wedding and she looked gorgeous... She is a gorgeous woman. She reminds me of myself at that age less 30 pounds.

I actually got misty during the ceremony...until I got to my table and met the most fabulous boy, Jeremy... my waiter. he was serving more than salad if you know what I mean. Those Long Island boys all want to br Gotti's and wanna give it to MargOH! The bathrooms were perfect for doing bad things, completely enclosed stalls. Jeremy made my day and all in about 12 minutes. He grabbed a few things off the fruit cart to help things along. I think you know where this is going so I will spare you any more details.

I am off to a fitting for a new costume with some new fabulous FIT student who makes fabulous things out of rare materials. I can't wait to see what he throws together. he said something about coke cans and vodka bottles.... We'll see


Love ya kids....

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH!'s off to a Wedding

Hey Kids,

My shot girl "GG" is getting hitched this weekend so I am off to Long Island for the weekend to share in her happiness.

It brings back memories of when Rodney and I tied the knot. It was a glorious day in LA at the JP.. Though we had to get permission from the State of Kansas and his parents to wed, he was only 13 at the time. It was all very innocent, I was more like a live in Baby sitter. When he turned 17 however things started to get hot. It was only a 5 year marriage but it was fun.

I decided after that I would never Marry again because I was well such a slut. I knew a conventional marriage was not for MargOH! I need to sample all the puddings before I commit if you know what I mean. I swear I've kept Kozy Shack and Trojan in business.

I do get a bit misty for others that can make that sacrifice. To know you will only see one more wanker is a bit sad but I guess if it will satisfy you then hell go for it...

I am looking forward to the special drink I came up with for the rehearsal dinner called the "GG Slide". It is a base of champagne with a splash cinnamon schnapps and a sugar cube, very refreshing....It heats up the tongue but leaves a sweet after taste....mmm. I think I have had that sensation in my mouth before but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Congrats to my Shot girl "GG"

Keep the booze flowing girl... I love ya.


Kisses, The Big M

Trader Joes Update

Hey Kids,

I can't believe it but after 2 months I made it into Trader Joes, aaah.... no big whoop.

More importantly the Trader Joe Wine Shop finally opened. It is a like a gift from the baby Jesus. I feel like he has finally done something for me in the form of $2.99 bottles of Chardonnay. I am not one to turn my back on expensive booze. I will pay top dollar for my libations but 2.99 kids is a steal and it's not half bad. Chalk one up for Trader Joes.

They do have a few moderatly priced wines as well for show but you should have seen all the bug eyed NYU students filling up their carts. Strike up another one for Trader Joes for putting the store underneath a dorm, good marketing.....

Get to Trader Joes Wine shop before I buy it all up!!!!

Kisses,

MargOH!

Evicted

Hey Kids,

Things got a little out of hand this week.

My sister Rita was in town promoting her new flick "Granny wanna Cracker". My sister Rita does porn and is staging a comeback of sorts. This is her first movie in about 10 years and she is mixing it up with all sorts of young porn amateurs, yikes.

I decided to throw a party and invited the usual suspects Mickey and Jan Rooney, Liz Smith, Polly Holiday, Mindy Cohn, Al Sharpton and Nellie McKay. I added a few new ones to the list like Paul Rudd and Julia Roberts, poor Julia needs a party after her reviews mmmm. Berna added her hot list like Glenda the Super and Robin Byrd.

Little did I know Rita invited the cast from "Granny Wanna cracker" and it turned into a regular Caligula's den. Dame Shirley bassey even came a knocking to find out what all the moanin and groanin was about and got pulled into the action. She really blasted out a fabulous version of "Goldfinger". There was this one guy from "Granny" named JJ and he was a bit nuts, I think he was on ecstasy because he started going down on Glenda in the hallway and boy did her get a surprise. Glenda's packin a 9 incher under those panties but he adapted. I'm not sure he even realized Glenda hasn't had the full change and was a man gone wild.

This of course prompted a call to the police by another neighbor who in turn called the president of the co-op down to our floor. She really flipped out and flew into a republican rage. I tried to calm her down but she could not believe the sex act she had just set her eyes on, she fainted and I brought her back with a sniff of mad dog. She grabbed the bottle and sucked down some and said "I never". That is the first time I had ever heard anyone actually say it so I actually said "I bet you never had and slapped her in the face.

She calmed down and Glenda and "Granny man' got their shit together and moved it into the maintenance closet. I looked around and realized the cop was dancing suggestively with Mindy Cohn. He was shouting out " I can't believe I'm dancing with Tootie". Poor Mindy set him straight by repeating "It was Natalie and then kissed him". She's such a slut!!

The party finally ended and I thought everything to be okay but yesterday I got a letter signed by the president asking Berna and I to vacate our apartment as soon as possible. It also stated that Glenda had been let go for her actions and it was all my fault.

I went straight to her apartment and gave her a piece of mind. I have lived here without any complaints, well there was that one time, well then there was that other and oh yeah, the roof party, anyway. I pleaded with this crusty bitch for over an hour but she was a nut not to be cracked.

I gave up and told Berna to start packing. I had Rita start bubble wrapping the bar and booze.

I don't need this, not before my show I thought. I can't believe I'm being evicted. Is there no justice in this world?

Right after I said that I called Robin Byrd because I know she has a house on Fire Island. I asked Robin if we could stay in her apartment in the city until I found permanent lodging. She did better than that she said we could stay with her out on Fire Island and use the apartment too. The "Byrd" is the best and thank god Rita lets her have a munch on her muff every once in a while. Sisters are good for something?

That is it though, no more parties for Rita and her Porn buddies. I love porn but like it best when i'm home alone with my pocket rocket....

Kisses,

The Big M

I'll keep you updated where I move to next.....

My Space is your Space

Hey Kids,

Berna thought it a good idea to interact with some of the younger set on myspace.

She feels I need to keep up with the kids in order to keep up my popularity.

I thought i did enough by going out dancing and drinking at every turn at all the hotspots. The world has extended so with the internet so I am reacing again.

It seems Myspace is loaded with the young one so maybe I can get in on some new hot trends.

I just got an IPod Nano... It is so tiny. I wish it vibrated.....

Check out Myspace space kids...
http://www.myspace.com/73887247

Kisses, MargOH!

Singing for Supper in a Thong

Hey Kids,

I've been practicing my singing and frankly it stinks.

I was planning on Singing "Ladies who Lunch" from the musical company. I was having a little trouble so I decided to call Elaine Stritch who originally sang it. Whe I told her she flipped out, she was yelling so loud her dentures fell out. She said "If you fucking sing one not of my song I will come and rip your tits off". Thats when her dentures fell out and I hears something like sloppy seconds of=r soupy sales so I just hung up.

These old bitches can get so touchy. I think in Elaine's case its because she is sober. When she was drinking she was a fun old gal and would have loved it...

Usually i would say fuck her and sing it but Elaine is connected and can probably find someone to rip my tits off

Singing for my supper in a Thong

Hey Kids,

I have been practicing my singing and I must say it stinks...

I was going to sing "Ladies who Lunch" from the musical "Company" and it was going okay... I decided to call Elaine Stritch who originally sang the song for some pointers. She completely flipped out, her dentures even fell out of her mouth she was screaming so loud. Now she is threating to kill and Sue me or Sue and then Kill me. She is nuts!!!

She said that I couldn't croak out a note of that song if she had anything to do with it. She declared "That is my Fucking song MargOH! and I'll fucking rip your tits off if I even get wind that you did it in spoken word" Thats when her teeth fell out and I heard something that sounded like sloppy seconds or soupy sales so I just hung up. God, these old bitches are so touchy. I think it's because she's sober. The Elaine I knew when she was drinking was a gay old gal and I never would have thought she would react like that, mmmm.

Listen, usually I would say fuck her and just sing it but she is connected. I think she can actullay get someone to rip my tits off... She's all wrapped up in the High Society of Manhanttan, very scarey.

I have decided to sing "Someone's been sending me flowers". The version I love is by Blossom Dearie so I called Blossom and she said go for it Kid. I love my Blossom and at least she is still drinking.... She reccommended that I wear a Thong to help me hit those high notes.... Berna bring me my Thong!!!!


I'll keep you updated....

Kisses, MargoH!

MargOH!'s The Threepenny Opera Review

Hey Kids,

I had a great time attending the revival of Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weills "The Threepenny Opera". I think they may have admired the way that Scott Elliot staged this production. It is simply "Shock Value" all the way and I would not expect anything different. It's not always a bad thing to be shocked and sometimes Broadway needs a shot in the arm when other choices include another "Disney Production".

I take my hat off, or maybe my false eyelashes off, to Wallace Shawn for his daring take on the songs. I mean when's the last time you heard someone rhyme "China" with "Vagina" or "Pluck with Fuck". These moments are brilliantly delivered by the fabulous Ana Gasteyer (Mrs. Peachum) whose got a set of lungs on her Ethel Merman may have crumbled under.

The stark set with passing neon signs to stage the scenes is perfect. When you blend colorful costumes (Isaac Mizrahi), simple but clever choreography(Aszure Barton) and porcelain beauties like Cyndi Lauper and Nellie Mckay who needs things cluttering up the stage.

There is also a lot of absurdity added to pep up this sometimes heavy material. Scott Elliot had the space of Studio 54 in mind when adding in some vulgarity. He even threw in a scantily clad disco boy on a neon horse to deliver the queens message to pardon that low down dirty Macheath played scathingly brilliant by Alan Cumming. Cumming takes command in the song "Call from the Grave" even though at points he was straining with a shout. Somehow it seemed to work. I personally couldn't keep my eyes off of his other assets that were bulging through his tight fitting pants. Can I get a sample please Mr. Cumming....

Cyndi lauper who played Jenny had a fabulous Broadway debut. Using her wit and Brooklyn charm she comes across just the way you would expect, fabulously quirky. Her rendition of "Solomon Song" put the crowd into a trance and I did not want it to end. Bravo Cyndi!!

The fabulous Jim Dale played Mr. Peachum and he was just fantastic. His "Song of Inadequacy of Human Striving" was just special. He was just a plain hoot and I loved his polyester leisure suit. It made me long for another twirl around the old dance floor.

Nellie McKay as Polly Peachum gave a certain naivete to her role that reminded me of Judy Garland in "Strike up the Band". She gave it her all on the "No Song" and a simple but savvy "Pirate Jenny" were the high lights of the show for old MargOH!. Her scene with Lucy played by a man Brian Charles Rooney was comic genius for both of them. Though it did make me crave a glass of Gin I thought they had a charisma that was charming. Brian Charles Rooney added a definite twist as Lucy that included showing Polly and the audience what Macheath had been sampling, a cock. Cock on Broadway, I say thank god.

The ensemble cast of street trash, burglars, drug addicts and misfits were all played just fine but I expected a little more from them....Maybe a cat fight between NYC drag faves Edie, Flotilla Debarge and Hattie Hathaway but they really ended up just being window dressing for the stars.

All in all I think this production of "The Threepenny Opera" is worth a look see for its bold ideas and brilliant cast. It's about time we get a little glam, Gaul and gumption on what can sometimes be a dreary "Great White Way".

Cheers to the production of "The Threepenny Opera". Good Show!

Kisses, MargOH!

"ThreePenny Opera" Pictorial

Hey Kids,

I just got back, well not actually just got back... I got back this morning from "ThreePenny Opera".

It is a fabulous show. I am going to post a review but first here are some pics of The Big M. with Nellie McKay, Cyndi Lauper and Alan Cumming.

They are all Gorgeous and wonderful people.

Alan and I worked together in "Romey and Michelle's High School reunion". I played reunion girl # 36. It was a hoot!

Cyndi Lauper is the best and she is very fun, a good ole NY gal through and through, just gorgeous.

Nellie is my favorite, she is a throwback to old Hollywood and I love it!! Go buy her CD "Get away from Me". It is the best!!!

Enjoy the pics, review to follow.

I am running to meet with Kenny Rodgers. He wants to meet my Plastic Surgeon. I am gonna try and talk him out of it cause I think he has had enough.


Kisses, MargOH!

Hey Kids

Hey Kids,

I have been in a blog funk....I have so much going on my little fingers can't make it to the keyboard...Plus I dropped a dirty Martini on my keyboard after I thought Danny was going to stop blogging. Berna had to run out for a new one. The damn thing stopped working.

I'm attending the press preview for "Threepenny Opera". I am very excited but for the fact that it is at Studio 54. I always get a little nostalgic and sad when I go to that place. The sex, the drugs, the fondling of my breasts... Neil Sedaka... Disco Sally, I miss that old bitch... Rodney and I were the main attraction for a few weeks like everyone else. 54 was if your hot your hot but if you weren't that week you didn't get asked to go the basement. I really didn't care, I broke 2 heels down in that damn basement.

I'll never forget the night Sammy Davis's glass eye fell out.

There I was on the floor with Andy Warhol, Bianca Jagger, Goldie hawn(her pussy stunk)and Halston. It was nasty, people would just lose their shit down there, literally, too much laxative in the cocaine. It was not the type of floor to be kneeling on unless Mick and the boys were there. Bianca used to pay people to get it off with Mick so she wouldn't have to.

Of course I'm the one who found it and had to run upstairs and wash it off, gross. I went back downstairs and Truman Capote was trying to stick his finger in sammy's socket.... mmmm he was a pig. Thankfully Bob Denver stuck it back in, Ya know Gilligan.

You see why I get a little freaked.. It was not all Glamour at 54. it also lended to the demise of my marriage. Hopefully the ghosts of the past will keep there distance and I can enjoy the show.

I will let you all know how it was.

Kisses,MargOH!

Sandy and Me

Hey Kids,

I had a blast this weekend. It was a fun filled extravaganza.

Friday night I was making my first Mojito's for the season. I picked up 30 bottles of Rum from the Duty free in Puerto Rico. My arms are still killing me, yikes. Anyway they were great. Darlings take some limes, mint and soda water smash it all in the bottom of the glass. Add Rum and some liquid sugar and top off with ice and more soda water. You will be refreshed beyond belief and buzzed out of your mind,mmm.

Saturday was just as good. I went to see Ms. Sandra Bernhard in her new off-Broadway Production called "Everything Bad and beautiful". The show was just the tops. Sandra is one of the few women that can make me laugh out loud. She is at once topical, political and satirical. This combined with her smoky, rich but not perfect voice makes for a joy filled evening.

Sandra opened the show with Christina aguilera's "beautiful" and right away she set the mood. The laughter started right from the first note and didn't end until she left the stage through the audience. She riffed on her life and for the first time talked about her private life a bit.. Saying "I usually don't talk about my personal life, because frankly I don't know you and I certainly don't trust you". What a hoot!

She also ripped the Bush family but really took some not so wholesome stabs at Laura Bush, perfect.

Sandra's remarkable wit is perfect when tackling political issues and she took no prisoners when she said. "I support out Troops so that's why I want them the fuck home". She held up a Support our troops ribbon made of plastic with the American flag on it, it's one of those magnet things for your car. She held it up and said I got one of these on every surface I can fit it and then looked at it and said "MMM, Made in China"...

This was a great show and Sandra delivered even though she had bronchitis. It was obvious because her singing was a little strained but I never expect perfection in her voice. It is a unique voice that booms with a rock edge so it was just fine to me. She also did a complete on stage costume change. She went right down to her bra and panties. She is 53 years old and has a great body, atta girl.

If you are in New York go see Sandra at the Darryl Roth Theatre. It is a beautifully bad ass show. I love ya Sandy.

After the show Berna and I rushed off to see Sandy and she was very under the weather so I popped out my flask of Apricot Brandy and poured my girl some on the rocks. She took a sip and said "Maggie, this is like jet fuel, how do you drink this shit". I replied with laughter and said "Honey if you drink this you will sleep like a baby". She took the glass back and slammed the rest down. "Thanks Maggie, you rock", she said and slapped me in the face lightly and then a big hug. We chatted about when we worked together On "Hudson hawk". I need not tell you her opinion on that movie... it was a bit of a bomb. Anyway sandy got dressed quickly and made apologies for rushing off but she scheduled a lunch for us at "Sarge's" deli for some kosher Corned beef. That's hot.....

Kisses, Kids

The Big M

MargOH! Rips the Bushes

Hey Kids,

Another clip from my show that I posted on YouTube.

This was right after the election. I was a mess and very angry.

Kisses, MargoH!

I'm off to see Sandra Bernhard tonight in her fabulous new show. Hopefully I can get a hold of that girl for an after show drink. She is a hoot.

My First HNT... I'm Rubenesque

MargOH!'s Back

Hey Kids,

I just got back, well not just back, I got back last night.

Puerto Rico was well lets just say nice. The bell boy at my hotel was the high point of a trip for me. What is the point of going to an island and not exploring everything it has got to offer including hot Latin men.... mmmm

Berna even got some action from the pool boy. She has lost 80 ponds already and was hot to trot.

The weather was just lovely and so were the Pina Colada's. I must have had about 10 a day. Thank god I got my check from Barry's people right before we left or I may have been hitting up GG for some libations. She is always good for carrying around a flask. She is my shot girl afterall.

I must say the food in Puerto Rico is very good including the Mofongo, it is mashed plantain, yummy. I am a bit Gouty though and that is not good for my upcoming show.

I have planned some dance rehearsals this week but may have to push them on a week because I can't slip on my Jazz shoe's. Damn good living and damn the gout.

I also have a photo shoot for the promo's for the show. We have to make sure we get some Homo's filling the place. The show is during pride week....

You know how I love the Gay's. Though I was a bit discouraged that GLAAD looked over my show again. I realize I am not on a network but I think I give off a good gay image. More than that Carson Kressley could dream of, he needs to wear much more make-up....

Oh, Well what is a middle aged gal to do...

Kisses, Kids

MargOH!

A Little Rest

Hey Kids,

I have been so busy lately doing part after part that it is wonderful to be going on a jaunt.

GG, who is part of my cast for "The MargOH! Channing Show", she is my shot girl, is having a soiree in Puerto Rico before her nuptials. Berna and I are headed down today and won't be back until Tuesday.

It has been a busy few weeks and not all pleasant. I have been shooting the film starring Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant called "Music & Lyrics by". That has been a blast and Drew even though she takes about 100 takes a scene is a real pro and comes and chats with the extra's. I of course know Drew since Rodney had coached her mother on breaking into the Biz. Drew was always running around our house and trying to open all the Gin bottles, Kids....

I wrapped that shoot and headed over to do some stand in work for Pat Benatar's new video. Those jobs are so easy, you just move about the set while they test lighting and such. Though I must say I didn't care for leather pants Pat had me wear....a bit musty


Then as I already mentioned I was in Barry Manilow's new video. This was not a good time. Barry is a bit menacing in his old age and very cheap. When I arrived I was told that Barry would only pay me scale. I haven't worked for scale in over 30 years. I went over to Barry's people and said I am MargOH! Channing and if you want this doo-wop girl to do the watusi you better cough up my fee of 2 grand.

Barry got wind of this and went on a tirade. He starting dusting his piano with pledge and mumbling about all the money he has to pay for these shoots. He also started to curse about how Bette Midler pays scale.

I stuck to my guns and said if you want me to wear that poodle skirt I better see some duckets or I am out of here. Barry chatted with his co-horts and they agreed to pay me the 2 grand as long as I didn't tell the extra's about it or talk about his latest botched plastic surgery. I had been asking around why Barry looked like his wax works figure at Madame Toussaud's, the one that melted. His people got a little miffed and said he had a laser treatment gone bad and for me to shut the hell up.

We got down to business and I did a quick "Watusi" and then a "Mashed Potato" and we even did " The Madison". I love that one. Barry just huffed off stage after the shoot and was not very pleasant.... Too bad. i ran over and took a knip of stoli out of my purse and said "Barry Babe, have a drink on me kid". He replied "Thanks MargOH! but I am not sure if my new caps will come undone".


All in a weeks work for MargOH! The life of an extra can be rewarding or down right dreadful so this is why I say...


Champagne is for Every Day, not just New Years Eve.

Kisses, Kids

I won't be posting until next week. I hope you will not be too sad....

You're a Wonder Wonder Woman

Hey Kids,

You are never gonna believe this one...

Berna had picked up the First Season of Wonder Woman on DVD and kept bothering me that I had to watch it. I kept saying, why, why, why do I have to watch it. It is a bit dated and tired don't you think? I asked..

Well last weekend after my wild night with Adrienne I stumbled in at about 4am and I was still a bit thirsty so I popped open a Magnum of Champers and decided to give old Lynda Carter a try. I woke Berna up and told her to come watch it with me and she got very excited.

The show started and I was somewhat enjoying it... It is very campy. Then about a quarter through the pilot episode I spotted something strange... a large breasted woman that looked a lot like myself in my younger days... I got up and presses my eyes to the screen and to my surprise it was me. I had absolutely no recollection of ever being on the show but there I was playing an Amazonian Guard.

I sat back down to collect my thoughts and then it all started rushing back to me. Lyle and Lynda, Cloris and that strange little man in it.... I had been sniffing a lot of Glue at that time, i thought it better than cocaine.

Berna had this look of interest on her face and started probing for answers. I started to remember the costume fitting when Lyle Waggoner came in and had the seamstress leave and he cupped my breasts. Then he said he would get me a line if I let him bang me... I of course said yes and he took me over Cloris Leachmans Harp... She played that damn thing in a few scenes and kept asking what that bleach smell was? Little did she know it was Lyle's man juice... he was a big shooter...

God, it was one of those moments I think I actually regret... I never got a line, that bastard... Now I know why I could never bring myself to watch "The Carol Burnett Show".

I was gorgeous though and I still am. They were lucky to have me on that show...

Berna get me Lyle Waggoner's number . I got a bone to pick with him..

Kisses Kids

MargOH!

MargOH!'s first Review

Hey Kids,

Well let me tell you I liked "The Property Known as Garland".

I am not sure if it was the bottle and a half of Blue Nun Adrienne and I had before the show or just plain good acting.... I think the latter in this case...

I decided to review this piece not just because Adrienne Barbeau and I go way back but once in a while it's nice to just give your freakin opinion!

In my previous post I did mention some concern about Adrienne being cast as Ms. Garland but I was thrilled to see that she went about it in her own way;hats off to Adrienne for that.. She actually gave an essence of Judy both in Character and physique

The play takes place before Judy's last concert in Copenhagen and she is reflecting on her life and career. This play was based on the infamous garland ramblings she made for her autobiography that never had the chance to be written.

I have always been a bit suspect of anyone gathering genuine information from these tapes due to the fact that Judy was almost incoherent at the times she was making these recordings.

This is my only issue with both Adrienne's performance and the play. If it is based on these not so flattering tapes then why not portray Garland as a frustrated, weak and desperate character. This piece portrays Judy, vulnerable; yes, but nowhere near being the tragic voice speaking on those tapes.

The play uses voice overs to portray her mother, Ethel and Louis B. Mayer as the tyrants that they were. Judy directly spoke to these voices but I wish the voices had been in her head and she could speak to them which would have given Adrienne a bit more depth. The voices sounded a bit canned and took away from the flow of Ms. Barbeau's performance.

There is one supporting character named Ed played by Kerby Joe Grubb who spends all of his time trying to track down mashed potatoes and green beans that Judy had demanded she has before she goes on. There are some cute moments between the two characters especially when he acts fumbling and admiring of the awesome moment he is having being in the same room as Dorothy.

I do feel part way through the piece the dialogue does start to become repetitive and there are many references to various celebrities such as Marlene Dietrich, June Allyson and Elizabeth Taylor. A high point for me is when Judy asks us " Is Elizabeth still alive". Billy Van Zandt did try to camp it up knowing that the Actor's Playhouse is located in gaysville USA but I think he could have done much better by Adrienne.

I did walk away from this play not knowing anything new about the fabulous Judy Garland but I did learn how a very classy actress named Adrienne Barbeau treaded this role with grace and elegance. She did not do an impersonation of Judy Garland but a lovely tribute to a character that can never be truly imitated though we do our best to do so.

"The Property Known as Garland" was an overall pleasant surprise that I would recommend to any Judy Garland Fan. It was fun spending a little time with Judy and that in the end is what it is all about.

Now, let me tell you that after the show Adrienne and I headed out for a wild night on the town.... I will let you know what happened in the next post....

Kisses, MargOH!

"The Property Known as Garland"

Hey Kids,

My old gal pal and co-star Adrienne Barbeau(I was Swamp Thing's Stand In and Foggy woman # 3 in " The Fog") is starring in a new play about Judy Garland.

It is called " The Property Known as Garland". I am going to meet Adrienne after the show for a nosh. I haven't seen her in about 15 years and she is looking marvelous for a gal of 60. I am not sure about this role though.... Adrienne well you know is quite a big girl.... in the chest area so knowing what Judy was like towards the end I was a bit concerned.

Adrienne told me by phone not to worry because everything has gotten saggy and her boobs were flattened after she had the twins. Can you believe that old bitch has got 9 year old twins, what a hoot.

I so hope I like the play or the meal afterwards may be a bit awkward but I can keep a straight face... I hope. Judy is my favorite singer and I just go crazy when I think someone can't handle her magic. I hope Adrienne can pull if off not only for herself but for the memory of Judy......

I'm gonna share a bit of legend for you about my personal feeling about Judy.. It is from my upcoming show

Enter MargoH!

I was born a fishmongers daughter in Bangor Maine. My mother didn'tÂ’t have the time to lunch because she was skinning and de-boning fish all day.

God she stank to high heaven. I still can't stand the smell of sturgeon to this day.

My father was killed by a school of starfish, sucked alive. Ironic isn'i it that I would become the star that I am.

Mother had to do it all on her own and she did. I still have the fishbone barrette she made for me. She is now peacefully living in the Fish Mongers retirement home in Anchorage Alaska. I send her a can of salmon for Christmas and tuna on Thanksgiving. She is a simple woman, with simple passions.

She didn't have much to give us but when she came into some money during the great tuna harvest of 61 Sully, thats mom, took us on a big trip to New York City to see her favorite performer Judy, Judy Garland that is.

I could not believe that me, a fishmongers daughter was going to see Dorothy live and in person at Carnegie Hall.

Well what Sully didn't tell us was that she had loaned my sister and I out to shuck oysters at the Fulton fish market in order to get the tickets.

My hands were bleeding. By the time we got to our seats so was my nose.

It was very scary that high up but after we took our seats and the overture started it was like magic. Judy came out and though she looked like a flea on stage. Her voice however boomed to the rafters. It was like Judy leapt into my body and took me over

It was then that I knew I wanted to be a star.

That day in 1961 was like a revelation for me. Thanks to Judy when we left the hall I knew I could never go back to Maine.

So at the age of 12 I intentionally got lost in the crowd after we left the concert and started my journey as a runaway vagabond and eventually the star that stands before you.


Thank you Judy

Clip of "The MargOH! Channing Show

Hey Kids,

Here is one of the many clips I have Berna putting together on You Tube. Thanks to my dolls Nathan and Danny for giving little old MargOH! the idea..

Kisses Kids,

MargOH!

Trader Joe's Update

Hey kids,

I ran by Trader Joes for the Gluten Free trail mix everyone is talking about. Guess what? There is still a freaking line and still no liquor store. I think NYC has gone mad with Mass consumerism, ya think?

I'll be back and fill you in on the premiere of Basic Instinct 2. Sharon Stone has got a big heart and Pussy.

Ponder that....

Kisses, MargOH!

Fresh Fruit Can sometimes be Rotten

Hey Kids,

Now you know that I would rather walk on my lips than to say something bad about someone but sometimes a girl can't help it.

As you all know I am currently in rehearsal for my variety hour coming up in June. I am dusting off my vocal cords and ready to belt one out or at least croak, I'm happy with croak, anyway...

I had decided in February that I was also going to submit the same said show to a festival I ran across called "Fresh Fruit Festival". It sounded like a good idea and you know how I love my fresh fruit cocktails, like mango margarita's, strawberry Mojito's and Apple martini's. It sounded like a match made in MargOH! heaven.

I had Berna throw together a fabulous submission packet that included a DVD of my TV show. It was the Christmas episode with my darling Nellie Mckay. I was a bit skeptical that they wanted 35 bucks for a processing fee but I just used Berna's allowance for that week, no big whoop!!! We sent it off and had no reason to think I would not be lighting up the fresh Fruit boards in July.

flash forward to this past Saturday when I received a very small envelope from the festival. I opened it and to my utter surprise I had been rejected..... Can you believe that I MargOH! Channing had been rejected by the "Fruities" (this is what they call themselves). I guess it has some meaning to them.

Now being the most decorated extra in the history of motion pictures I don't get bogged down by these things. It is an oversight on their part and they(whoever they are) obviously don't have any vision. Though I have been around for more than 40 years MargOH! is still as " Fresh" as a daisy....in the morning dew.

The "Fruities" probably don't understand that MargOH! has a posse of kids that flock to any live performance that she does... or that I had recently performed for Royalty. They probably didn't realize that I pass out champagne at all my performances to create that MargOH! glow...


I just don't think they realized but as an old dear friend Laquita Peron once said to me...

If they don't like it "Fuck em"......."Crash and burn bitches"

See you at the party Kids

Kisses,

MargOH!

A photo for my Kids

Hey Kids,

I've been so busy that I have not had time to get down and write so I am giving you a picture of Love until my next post....

Kisses, The Big M

Life is a Cabaret for MargOH!

Hi Kids,

I have booked a venue for my show and I am just thrilled. It has been a long and winding road back to the stage for MargOH! I was happy to take the reins on my own cabaret for years in Bangkok but I always longed to be back up there under the hot lights. Well I did do an occasional number when there were issues. Like the time when the Olsen twins were scheduled to do their show but they broke into the liquor cabinet and downed a bottle of mad dog. They tore up my dressing room and vomited all over my hand made Thai mules. I slapped those 2 sad bitches and vowed they would never work in my town again.

I also told their mother that I had given their father full access to my girls..... that led to a messy feud in a rickshaw on the way to the airport. Well that's enough about them.

This post is about me!!!

The show will be June 21st at 7PM at " The Duplex Cabaret". It is a lovely venue that will make my show just fab. I am very excited to be able to perform on the same stage as some of the greats like Joan Rivers, Mickey Rooney, Charles nelson Reilly, yes I said Charles Nelson Reilly so bite it, I love him!!!

It will be a grand affair with the highlight being my NY singing debut.

Oh dear, I must run. I am on my way to a shoot for an upcoming video for Barry Manilow's 50's album. I am playing Doo-Wop girl # 13. It'll be a blast


Kisses, MargOH!

A Success for Berna and Trader Joe's

Hey Kids,

I am updating you on my wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge's Gastric Bypass. It was a smashing success. She is up and around and almost ready to get back to work. It is amazing how modern medicine has made a very dangerous operation into like getting a tooth pulled. She had the surgery on St Paddy's day and was almost doing a Jig on Saturday with our Super Glenda. Just amazing.

This made me so happy that I ran straight out for some libations. Berna can only consume liquids for a few months so I know how much she likes "Peach schnapps" and "White Zindendel".

I was on my way to my usual packy when I noticed that Trader Joe's opened up on 14th street. They also have a trader Joes wine store. I quickly got in line, yes a line that stretched half a block. I guess New Yorkers can't get enough of the chains they say they hate, mmmmm and the trail Mix. I was in line for 45 minutes and was longingly looking at the sign that said "Grand Opening special 2 bottles of White Zin for 4.99". There was another that said "Cavit Pinot grigio for 7.99", wow for the big bottle.

I was foaming at the mouth to get in.

Then it started, everyone started chanting "Let us in, Let us in, Let us in".

It was turning into a protest out of control. Luckily they had some workers come out and hand out cookies and drinks to the people in line. I of course asked for a glass of champagne and the worker said "Sorry but the wine store isn't open yet but I can give you sparkling cider".

Please I said, sparkling cider.. I couldn't believe it and started getting a bit loud with disgust when the crowd started chanting "MargOH!, MargOH!, MargOH!". How fun!

I of course quickly stepped out of line and made my way to the "Open" Warehouse Liquors. A couple of the people in the crowd were also kind enough to give me a bottle or 2 of wine for Berna.

Even though Trader Joes sucks it just amazes me how kind a New Yorker can actually be especially when they are getting free trail mix!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Berna going under the Knife

Hey Kids,

Happy St. Paddy's day to ya all. The luck of the Irish is upon us. I am running out to stock up on my supply of Apple schnapps for my Green Apple Martini's.

I will be drinking them without my Wardrobe Mistress Berna Breckenridge though. She is having her gastric Bypass Surgery Today at Noon. This is the first St. Patricks day we have not spent together in 30 years. I will miss the way Berna drinks straight from the Green Beer Ball. My girl doesn't need a glass just a good spigot.

Berna is tipping the scales at... well lets just say she could not go hot air ballooning..

I of course am financing this surgery. I had to put out a pretty penny and put out to Dr. Chow. He is giving us 90% off. It is well worth the cost to get Berna to actually pull her weight around here. She has done a fabulous job on my costumes for the upcoming show and I am grateful for that. I bumped her weekly allowance back up to 50 bucks.

When she gets thin she will be doing much more than ever. This is why I must have her get in shape. The Dr. was more concerned about her health but I know that old gal is sturdy as a pack mule. Though this mule drinks her weight in Dr. Pepper every day. Well luckily that will stop. She won't be able to drink any carbonated beverages ever. Our soda Bill alone is 200 bucks a week.

Its no wonder why I am breaking my back with work. I just shot a scene for an upcoming episode of "Campus Ladies". Those gals are a hoot.

I think I will be able to work less when Berna gets thin. It is a bit strange that I have to work harder to have a wardrobe mistress. It should be the other way around, shouldn't it?

Berna get your ass up. It's time to go to the hospital. We have to leave early to take the bottle returns to the store. There is like 150 dollars worth of soda bottles.

Let's get you thin!!! Then you can wear Cha Cha heels again..

Say a little prayer for Berna Kids

Kisses, MargOH!

Hot n Heavy at "Liza with a Z"

Hey Kids,

I went to the Showtime premiere of the restored " Liza with a Z" at the Ziegfeld. It was a hot night. The young and the old came out to support our little Liza.

She came on the arm of Tony Danza but somehow his hand kept ending up on my ass at different points of the night. I went with Liz smith so we were right up front and Tony leaned over a few times to talk to her and was all over me. He has dog breath by the way so I offered him a spritz of my Listerine spray. He took it but then licked the end in an obscene way so I slipped it into Liz's purse.

I also ended up chatting with Parker Posey and Billy Gilman, yikes what a combo that is. Billy is a sweet kid but her kept staring at Parkers tits as he conversed. He also complimented me on my perfume but her ended up nibbling my ear when he pretended to go for a quick sniff.

I don't know what it is about any affair having to do with Liza. They usually become sexually charged for some reason. I couldn't get a word with Alan Cumming because he was trying to make a move on Rufus Wainwright but Rufus wasn't biting or should I say sucking... Oh dear, I shouldn't say such things!!

Rosie O'Donnell and her wife Kelly were all over eachother the whole evening. I swear Rosie was gonna finger her right there in the theatre. Of course Rosie got up and started to try and do some Fosse moves during "Bye, Bye Blackbird" but she fell on a simple step ball change. The she started shooting fooz balls at Billy Gilman and hit him in the eye. He ran out crying and didn't return until the thing was over. She is out of control!!!

I did get to say hi to Liza and she gave me a big hug and thanked me for coming. She did mention that she was planning a " Stitch and bitch" later in the summer and said she would give me a buzz. How fun! I invited her to my show in June and she said she would try and make it but only if she could bring Tony. Great!

It was a great night and "Liza with a Z" is a wonderful piece of work and Liza should be proud.

Bravo and Happy 60th old Gal

Kisses, MargOH!

Hello Darlings

Hey Kids,

I had a great time last night with the old gal Liz Smith. She is fab and what a boozer. She put me away with her delicate way of chugging a boilermaker, Wow.

A big few weeks is coming up. I have been invited to attend Liza's screening of "Liza with a Z". I am going with Liz so we should have a ring side seat to see Liza's reaction to her fabulous performance of that Fosse madness.

Then I am off to view the space for my upcoming show which I am scheduling during pride week (you know how the gays love me) on Wednesday June 21st. This is gonna be a hot show!! I am very excited about it.

I also have been invited to the opening night of "Threepenny Opera" . My darling Nellie McKay is starring in it with Alan Cumming and Cyndi lauper. I can't wait to see what happens at the party. I've always wanted to see if I could sway Alan over to my side, He's so cute.

There is so much more but I will update you my kiddies as these things happen.

I am running over to Diane Keaton's for a friendly game of poker.

I am not sure who else is going to be there but I hope Keanu is!!

I know they have been hot and heavy since that movie they did.

I'm going to wear my Martini shades as to not let them read my bluffs....

Kisses, MargOH!

A Gin Soaked Moment

Hey Kids,

As you all know I recently performed for some Royalty that have an apartment here and I was very nervous.

I was bad and indulged in some Gin... Gin Has this wild hold on me and sometimes can turn my world into a "Rosemary's Baby" moment. I and other people can become like looking through a kaleidoscope. It is scary.

I had a photographer taking some pictures and they prove my point. I am fabulous and gorgeous when I have say a Vodka Martini but when I have Gin I go south. In this particular instance Margoh! Had an out of body experience and the pic says it all. One is when I had had only a Vodka Martini and Champagne. The other is after I had 3 shots of Gin.

I'm scared straight. I will never drink Gin again!!!


Enjoy the Pics

Kisses, MargOH!

Who is My Ex Husband?

Hey Kids,

I've been getting a lot of emails asking who in the hell my ex husband RAR is.

Rodney was a huge Child star in the 70's. His face was plastered all over the world for years as the "Jack in the Box" spokesperson.

It led to roles in movies and on television. He had a recurring role on "The Six Million Dollar man". This is where we met(I played Fembot # 6 and was Key Grip as well) and Rodney was so cute, you just wanted to Squeeze him.

We grew so fond of eachother that his parents gave me the honor of guardianship while they went back to Kansas.

I was doing so many extra roles that we really didn't see eachother that much. Rodney was jet setting all over pushing burgers and I sometimes by his side. Rodney was a ticket into the best parties and all the perks that went along with it. He was a hot property. When he was 16 his career cooled a bit but our love grew and we were eventually married.

I know what your thinking but it was kind of a reverse of the Anna Nicole and the old man saga. It was sexless!!!! until he turned 18 and then all hell broke loose. We were like freaks without warning, very hot....

Like most relationships though my career kept getting bigger but Rodney's had stalled with the loss of his youth and we drifted apart. I into the arms of another man and he into the bottle of vodka.

I eventually asked for a divorce and a hefty alimony check due to the heartache.

Rodney sometimes will deny our love and says I was a "Gold Digger" but he knows that we were once soulmates.

Rodney is now starting to rejuvinate his career. He had a radio show in LA and had a part in "Dickie Roberts".

I can't go on... talking about Rodney is just too hard...

Berna mix me up a Cosmo baby. Did Rodney's alimony check come yet?

Kisses, Kids


MargOH!

Kids I'm coming home

Hey Kids,

I have not been able to update you on my Rehab stay because the other night one of my docs saw me on the Tanqueray website. He took my laptop away for the remainder of my stay. I was just looking at the pretty bottles. It wasn't like I was ordering a case of Gin.

Berna and I made it home just in time for Oscar. Shirley Bassey was having a soiree so we popped over there for some Champagne and shrimp cocktail. I had a first good day, the party was sponsored by Geritol and Bombay Sapphire. The Gin was free flowing but I stuck to the Champers and everything was fine.

I know you all have been worried and I thank you all for your email and kind words.
You must know by now being my fan is somewhat of a challenge but stick with me kids.
I'll never let you down.

There was one email that came from a girl named Destiny, she said

Dear MargOH!, I hope that your time in rehab will make you a stronger and more stable person. Drinking is not the answer to your problems. If you focus on love and God, not Gin, your life will turn around

Your fan,

Destiny


Thank you Destiny for your kind words but all I can say is "Do you know me at all" and "Go Fuck yourself". I am more than stable. I am the most decorated Extra in the history of motion pictures and television. I am not a drunk, I just like to drink!!
It's just that my chemical reaction to GIN makes me crazy but I can handle any other liquor I want.

If you want to preach to someone than maybe you should go to Ce Ce Winan's website and talk about Godly things. I don't like to be mean to my fans but I try and keep God out of my affairs. I am sure he will have enough to say when I check out in 100 years or so.

I got an idea from Robert Altman last night about his heart transplant. I think I'll give that a try in 10 years so I can live a bit longer... If I can get the heart of a 20 year old MargOH! could go well into the millennium, maybe like 2080. How exciting!!!!

Kisses, Kids

I'll be back with more updates and pics of my Gin soaked romp

MargOH!

Knotts in a good Mood

Hey Kids,

While I have been on the detox I have been reflecting on my life and playing poker with George Michael, he sucks.

It is good from time to time to think about things and choices that have been made, etc. The one thing that has been coming to memory is why I didn't marry Don Knotts.
Don recently passed away and I am very sad. He was a wonderful person and had a zest for life that was rare. He was one of the few not so attractive people to make it big in hollywood.

I met Don on the set of "The Apple Dumpling Gang". I played saloon lady # 8. It was a great time and Don was so sweet. He had a knack for making you feel your part was just as important as the leads. He also liked a couple of other parts I had at the time, My tits! Don was a wild ladies man and had his way with all the extra's. There was plenty to go around if you know what I mean... a large Pony comes to mind.

Don did take to me a little bit more than the others and took me to "Chasens" for dinner a few times. One night he had a few extra martini's and actually proposed to me. At the time I brushed it off but now that I think about it I should have run to city hall with him. I would never have had to work again. I could have had it all as Mrs. Don Knotts. Oh, God I want some Gin..

Kids I'm gonna buzz for some electric shock.. I still am not free of the craving...

I guess sometimes memory lane is a road you shouldn't take.

Kisses, Kids

I'll be seeing you Donny Baby

MargOH!

Joining Berna

Hey Kids,

It was another fun filled weekend but MargOH! had a little setback.

I did a private performance that went wonderful and met some lovely people. The party was a house warming for a Princess and her Prince. That is all I can say due to their wanting to keep a low Royal profile in the city.

The party was just lovely and of course I knocked them dead... Though I had performed at the retirement home it had been a while since I performed for Royalty. It was a little nerve filled and I grabbed for the GIN.

You all know I have been off Gin for a while now. I was weaned off GIN by Dr. Beefachaki using a controversial method of drinking only Sake at his clinic in Hawaii. I had been doing so well but it was all too much for me and I said hello to Mr. Beefeater. Bad, Bad MargOH!...

GIN has this hold on me and I sometimes do things I normally wouldn't do on say Vodka martinis. Things can become very "Rosemary's baby" for me when I mess with the Gin and can become well lets just say weird.

I quickly called the place where I sent Berna, very chic place. They sent a car for me and I am resting just fine. I am having a simple electric shock therapy. I am going to stay for a week. That should be enough and it will give me time to prepare for my second meeting at Lifetime. They are biting on the idea of my show "MargOH! Unleashed".

I'll keep ya posted,

Oh dear I think I just saw George Michael.

he too fell off the wagon... But GHB, that is so 90's... Poor thing..

Kisses Kids,

MargOH!

Still Cleaning

Hey Kids,

Sorry I've been on the DL.

I am still cleaning up... Yes that's right cleaning. Berna is still recovering from her wild week with Gary Busey. I checked her into rehab to detox. She is such a handful and not very grateful. It is me who slept with Dr. Chow to get her free gastric bypass surgery afterall.

It's true what they say. Good help is hard to find!!!

Kids I'll be back with more updates. I am actually performimg at a private event today and will wrap about that next.

Kisses,

MargOH!

Home... What a disaster

Hey Kids,

I made it home in one piece and with the proper identity. It was a wild time at the
Olympics. The one thing I have learned from the American athletes is that they know how to party. I swear I only slept about 5 hours in 5 days, yikes. Now I am a party girl but I still need a little ugly sleep so I can look hot. Kids don't forget I'm going to be 58 this year, wow.

Well when I got home it was a disaster. The place was in shambles and Berna was three sheets to the wind. To make matters worse she was only wearing a sheet. My darling pooch kim fung was licking up all the Champagne that Berna had dropped. She was tanked too. I did a quick scan of the room and saw something else bundled up under a sheet. I walked over and poked it with my USA Team signed hockey stick (It read, To MargOH! The girl with one hell of a Slapshot, our asses are still red. Thanks again , Team USA). What lovely boys they are and they surely love a bit of the bondage, yum!

So I then poked a little harder and the sheet fell slightly to show that it was Gary Busey. I shrieked with fear, he's crazy, he's always been crazy. I had a small role in the Buddy Holly Story and he was drinking and carrying on back then. I of course don't think drinking is bad as long as you can maintain proper conduct until yet get behind closed doors of course.

He moved a bit and opened his eyes "Hey MargOH! old girl, How you been sexy" as he pulled me down on him.

" Listen Busey unhand me, and what have you been doing with Berna",
I demanded.
"C'mon Maggie , I saw the old gal at McSwiggan's and we did some boiler makers", he replied.

"Listen, Gary. Berna is having her Gastric Bypass on St. Patricks day and she needs her rest", I said.

"She 's gonna miss St Patty's day, that sucks" as he got up and stumbled a bit.

Berna started to wake up as well and then fell back down exposing her naked flesh

" I have had it, Gary get the hell out", I screamed

" Maggie old girl what's going on, you used to be a lot of fun, now you gettin cranky in your old age", Gary said

" Old age, Gary I'm 58 years young but look at this mess", I said. "Stop calling me old and get those hands off of me", I added.

"C'mon Maggie, you remember how much fun we had in my trailer, wanna go for it again", he asked.

"MMM,, Gary that was years ago and you were cute then", I said. 'Now you're just sloppy", I added

"C'mon Maggie I still got it in the right places", he begged.

" Yeah but I think your places have been near Berna's and I don't want to go there. I Have Standards ya know", I said

" C'mon Maggie Neil Sedaka's got nothing on me", he said

" Yes he does, Talent and how dare you bring that up, Neil is hot and at least clean"
I said. " Now get out", I added.

I led him down to the door and called the doorman to have them help but Gary went quietly.

"Can you believe this"?

"Berna is gonna get it when she wakes up. She's gonna be cleaning for days. Look at all of these crushed Cheetos. Kim Fung eat them up girl, Good Dog".

"Just for the record Kids I only Blew Gary". " It was the fashion in 78, all that polyester made him look hot".

Kisses Kids,

MargOH!

"Krumpin" for my Wallet

Hey kids,

Well I spent the night at the airport security lodging. What a night...

The authorities went to find Bode and he verified my identity. I think he was a bit upset since they woke him at 4am. This was the night before the Super G and he did Super bad. When they released me I did send him a note attached to some Boones saying how sorry I was.

I arrived back at my hotel where some of the skaters who opted out of the olympic village also stayed. I went to the desk to see if anyone had handed in my wallet. I was pleasantly suprised to find that it had been returned. I opened it up and everything was there but about 100 bucks. I immediatly asked who returned it and everyone got very quiet. I asked again and the desk clerk pointed to a woman sulking in the lobby. He said she had checked into my room after a bad skate in the ice dance competition. I turned and it was Barbara Fusar Poli, yikes.

I went straight over to her and said where's my 100 bucks. She mumbled something back to me in Italian. I think she said "Go Fuck Yourself".

I was unaware of her damage and said listen lady I work hard for my money and even though you found my wallet I don't think you deserve a 100 bucks. She turned to me and gave me a stare down so vile it made me fall back a couple of steps.

The only thing I could think to do at this point was to "Krump" her. So I gave her the best "Krump" I could and then she gave me full on "Kick the dog" with some step ball change action. I geared up and gave her another "Krump" and a booty shake that stirred up the lobby. They started to applaud. Barbara then hit me with a flamenco snap and twirl that left me mesmerized. I then spun into a full vogue with a rockette kick, ouch , hurt my "Gout" a bit. The crowd was wild and they started to throw money. Barbara then shocked me with a "Cha Cha" to die for. She grabbed the back of my neck and hand and we busted into a hot "Tango". We became one in our dance. We were like lovers in an unbridled moment. It was hot! At the end of our tango we got lost in the moment and kissed.

I moved back and saw the longing in her eyes but I had to end it. I apologized and looked down at the floor. There had to have been 500 bucks thrown from the crowd. Barbara then said. "There's your money bitch with interest" She grabbed 50 bucks and went on her way.

It was a magical moment, wow.

Only at the Olympics Kids,

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! Detained

Hey Kids,

You are not going to believe this but I am being detained in Italy. I misplaced my passport, Credit Cards, ID, everything, but didn't realize I didn't have it until I got to the airport. I was going to go back to my hotel to find my wallet but they wouldn't let me go.

One of the guards is a huge fan of "Laugh in" and thinks I'm Joanne Worley. They are making me try and do that thing she does , that screeching noise but I am not living up to their expectations. They are getting very angry.

Instead of letting me leave they have sent for Bode Miller to confirm my story. I'm getting a little thirsty. They have no champagne on Hand... very strange.

Oh, here they come. I have to go. I'll keep you updated. Don't worry kids I'll be fine.

This isn't my first time at the Rodeo!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Madonna has a Hernia, Oh My

Hey Kids,

I knew when I saw Maddy doing those high kicks on the Grammy's she was over doing it. Poor thing went straight to the hospital. Luckily she had that corset on or she may have spilt right onto the stage.

Kids, gotta run Johnny Weir and I are heading over to Bodie Miller's Trailer for
some Boonesfarm and nuts.

Kisses, MargOH!

See article below


Pop star Madonna has been treated for a hernia.

"She had a minor procedure for a hernia and is absolutely fine now," her spokeswoman said on Thursday.

After performing at the Grammy, Madonna re-appeared in public accepting a Brit record industry statuette in London as Best International Female Artist of the year.

Madonna widely regarded as one of the fittest stars in the pop business; it is well seen in the video for her latest single "Sorry."

Last year in the United States over half a million hernia repair operations were performed. A hernia develops when the outer layers of the abdominal wall weaken, bulge or actually rip.