Its raining, its Pouring

Hey Kids,

I gotta tell you that life lately has been a chore..My darling pooch Kim Fung had been battling mouth cancer and passed away last week. It has been a terrible loss for old MargOH! and MAN-ee is torn up as well. Kim Fung was more than just a plain old dog, she was colorful and smart as a whip. She could actually help old MargOH! put on her stockings or pull her to a pillow when she had a bit too much. Kim Fung also loved a bit of the drink, she loved champagne, luckily having four legs made it easier on the old girl to navigate around, she could hold her booze.

She also loved a Golden Retriever, she'd get all sassy and sly when any of those studs passed by...and even wrangled me a few flings with the owners..we were a team I guess and I'll miss her sense of adventure and whimsy. It wasn't all fun and games and Miss Fung had a temper and tore up a few of my costumes, she disliked Judy Garland and Liza minnelli music, she much preferred Jazz or something quiet.like a lovely Eartha Kitt... Her Favorite movie was "Chicken Run"...she just loved the clucking...

She was in two of my tv shows, she had great comic timing and took direction well, a real pro..Though trying to put make-up on her was a chore, she hated eye-liner but didn't shy away from a little concealer...

I loved that gal and she was my pal. I have a huge gap in my heart and mind at the moment. We haven't had the heart to move anything, her blanket still sits on the bed, her water/champers bowl still in its place, her collar and lead still waiting for a walk.

Life will never be the same, 14.5 years of love gone in an instant, Oh..but the memories...

Memories,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were

Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?

Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...

The way we were...
The way we were...

Coney Island Dreams

Hey Kids,

When i was a little girl my mother told me that I would one day perform at the Coney Island Freak show....of course this was meant to be a way of being mean to me. Sully always told me I was a bit hairy for a girl of my age and was on my way to being a bearded lady...

Guess what kids, I will be performing at the Coney island Freakshow and museum next week..but of course it is not as a bearded lady but as a fish goddess....It's very exciting and when I told Sully, my now aunt and ex mother she said she told me so and added in to make sure I got a waxing as not to be too hairy...what a hag.

Kids if you are in NY and want to see MargOH! strut her fish...please come to Coney Island...

XO, MargOH!

Settled in

Hey Kids,

It's been a wild time the past few weeks. First we were suppose to move to the bronx but once the landlord found out Berna was Union he turned us down. I even had my former aunt, now mother Trudie to flash him her tits but he wasn't going for it, I'm gonna get a lawyer for sure...

So we had to find a place quick and settled on a lovely flat in Brooklyn, a section called Carroll gardens. it has rooms for days and a closet for Berna, just perfect. It happens that and old friend of my ex mother, now aunt Sully's from Maine Mary Crabclaws owns the building. This is the first time in a while that sully has done me a favor the panned out....amazing. Though Sully did tell me she plans on heading back to Alaska for the summer to visit her friends at the Fishmongers retirement home. This just leaves me with Aunt Fawn and Trudie to house. Aunt Fawn just got back from her consulting gig for the Ice castles remake that I landed her and then she's returning to her job at Chelsea Piers sharpening skates.

Trudie keeps telling me that we should re-open MargOH!'s on delancy street. I don't know, running a business is so much work, especially a bar with a back room for lesbians. Though the lesbians these days are not as rough and tumble as back in the 60's it still would be a challenge.....but the nostalgia of it is keeping the idea in my thoughts. Who would have thought my former Aunt trudie, now mother, would come back into my life and bring back a flood of memories so dear and tragic.


Kisses, MargOH!

Berna's Back in town and Angie

Hey kids,

I was getting ready to go see Blithe Spirit last night and just as I was leaving Berna busted through the door with bags of smokey bacon crisps. She said she cleaned London out of them. Good for her...I guess. The house smells like a smokehouse though. When i got home Berna was on the floor in a smokey bacon crisp haze.

Any who, the show was so much fun and I went to see Angie Lansbury backstage along with Christine and Rupert afterwards. They are all so fun and Angie is just crazy, she swears like a sailor.I did a few extra roles on Murder she wrote and that's when I found out that Angie was like Fuck this and Fuck that but her favorite curse phrase is "screw you, pig fucker". She often said that while driving me home from the set, what a laugh.

last night Angie said she was a little aggravated by some old turds that were eating crackers and cheese in the front row. she said she wanted to Lupone their asses but she held her tongue because they were "oldsters". That's funny coming from her because she's 84 I think but you wouldn't know it. We ended up going for a freshener at "Molly's". Angie said, c'mon old girl lets go somewhere quiet so Molly's is always a good bet. We had 2 shots of bourbon each and a bottle of wine. I can't disclose much of our conversation because she was firing on all cylinders about everybody and not all good...but I think she said "Screw that pig fucker" 20 times.

If you have a chance go see Blithe Spirit, Angie steals the show, it's a fun show, very old school!!

XO, MargOH!

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?

Hey Kids,

I know there is that term "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade"! What a crock of shit, maybe i'd make a lemonade and vodka but that isn't that great.

In my life I've been handed plenty of Lemon's, like the three worst parents in history, and ungrateful sister, a horrible marraige, a short lived career as a Russ Myer girl, hot sex with Neil Sedaka (twice), a tragic wardrobe mistress, the list goes on and on. I've overcome a lot of these hardships and usually come out on top or at least drunk...

In the past few months though I have felt a shift to not quite making it through all the bullshit, a bit overwhelmed or should I say underwhelmed by my life or those around it. I think it is because MargOH! is too nice. MAN-ee, my gay fiance has said this in a few different ways to me and its starting to stick. I think I've come to expect too much from the american people.

I have plenty of friends around the world that are much more respectful of what is "MargOH!" and what "MargOH!" is...


Do I have to become a raging lunatic bitch in order to get what I want here in New York? I think I may and I hate that prospect. I've always tried my best to be nice to others who are involved in my ventures or future one's and all MargoH! gets is a big kick in the ass most of the time...or even worse nothing. There is nothing worse than putting your work or yourself out there for others to judge or embrace and getting no reaction at all.

Over the years I have worked with so many wonderful people and have had lots of fun. I've danced with heads of state and even given a few of them head but never have I been treated so poorly as I have of late by people I have reached out to with a kind word.

I'm sorry but if you send a note after meeting someone and say "it was so lovely to meet you and thank you for taking the time to chat", I don't care how famous you think you are, you could reply even with a thank you, goodness.

If you send out calls for submissions for anything and you recieve submissions, the submitter would expect to hear something back whether it is a positive or negative response but not here in New York.

I guess that is too much to expect?

The one thing my first mother Sully told me that made any sense was. "If someone tells you no, don't ask why, just do it and worry about it later".

I've been told no a lot in my life but I always do it anyway.......kind of like Fuck you and have a nice day.

If more people would say Yes then MargOH! would be making them lemonade but alas they'll get lemons.

Kisses, MargOH!

RuPaul's Drag race

Hey Kids,

My mother Sully signed me up for Rupaul's Drag Race. She's always thought I was a man trapped in a woman's body...and that I wear too much make up....


Go vote for MargOH!

http://RuPaulCasting.com/people/margohchanning

Berna's a Shop lifter

Hey Kids,

I could not believe it when I got a call this morning from Susan Boyle asking me
for money to bail Berna out of a London police station for petty theft and to ship her back to the US. She can't afford the bad publicity she says...

Isn't this rich? Berna takes off on me for the new big thing and gets caught stealing
a case of face hair removal cream for Ms. Boyle...Then I'm asked to clean up the mess. I knew berna had sticky fingers over the years but honestly stealing from a pound shop is a bit sad really.

I say let her sit in the slammer for a few days, don't ya think? Susan said she thought I was terrible for paying Berna $25 a week since 1968 and because of me she is forced to steal and hung up on me.

How did I become the bad person???? I told Susan that beyond the money I give Berna she eats and drinks a lot for free. I even paid for her gastric bypass surgery....what more does a wardrobe mistress and light duster expect...look at what happened to poor Liza after paying $250k a year to a chauffer, nothing but heartache...It's not like I ask Berna to have sex too...what a revolting thought...

You know when berna gets back she is getting a pay cut...that'll teach her...

Kisses, MargOH!

Ice castles and Susan Boyle

Hey kids,

I'm on my way to Idaho to shoot some scenes for the remake of "Ice castles". I'm playing Zamboni Lady #1, but I do have a line "Get the fuck off the ice you twat" but I think this is what makes the poor skater hit the ice and go blind, yikes. I don't think that was in the original film, they've updated the script.....I was in the first Ice Castles and played Party Gal # 6, funny that scene also was in the context of the skater hitting the ice and going blind, you can catch me admiring the ice sculpture and drinking champagne in the first one...This is a quick shoot and I'll be back in NY Sunday.

The next thing happening right now is that wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge has left me high and dry again. We are in the midst of packing to move and she announces that she is moving to the UK and that Susan Boyle has hired her as her assistant and style coach. I'm not sure how she wrangled up this gig but she told me Simon Cowell is flipping the bill to get her into shape for the competition. To tell you the truth I think Shirley Bassey got in Cowell's ear about Berna because of all the errands she'd do for Shirley when she was living next door. The truth is Berna doesn't do crap but drink and party with her friends, once in a while she'll iron my costumes or dust a bit. She says the $25 I pay her a week isn't fair but who's paying the rent for her big ass to do nothing...I don't think she gets it...

No worries because once Susan and Simon realize that she is a slacker they'll kick her out and poor Susan will still look a mess. If you saw the new pictures of Susan's hair and jacket, that was Berna. Berna said she told her to get a "LuLu" hairdo and woody Allen glasses....good lord!

You just can't find good help any day

XO, MargOH!

MargOH!s being held by Pirates

Hey Kids,

So I come home today and Berna and Linda Hunt ambushed me as I came in the door. They are dressed in Johnny depp style pirate outfits. They have informed me that they are having a pirate themed party and are demanding cash from me. They broke into the liquor cabinet at noon and have gone through 2 bottles of rum and my Swedish schnapps...

They had me tied up for about 5 minutes because I gave em my money and said a pirate party it is. i haven't dragged out my peasant skirts and Stevie Nicks lace in years. I couldn't resist Linda, she looked so cute with the eye patch. Barna has invited all of her union buddies so i called Polly Holiday, Nellie Mckay, Jimmy Fallon but he said she was staying in to watch "Grey Gardens", what a mo....I also called Mary Tyler Moore to try and come down , she's in town promoting her book,but she said she didn't have any pirate wear but then said to call Valerie Harper because she was in town and always traveled with scarves and small knives, she's coming. The cast of "Rock of ages" is coming, Berna's been working that show as a stage hand, heavy metal and pirates just go together don't ya think....

It should be a fun little quick pirate party, gotta run and rent a parrot for the night....see ya at the party kids....

XO, M

Fun Moment

Hey Kids,

This is a fun moment from Britain's Got Talent. Susan Boyle rips it to a stunned crowd, this is an inspirational video for sure....good for her!!

kisses, M

MargOH!'s on Twitter now

Hey Kids,

MargOH! is now on Twitter. Check it out kids

XO, MargOH!

MargOH!

Kicked out

Hey kids,

Can you believe poor little Wanda Lee was disqualified from the "Little Miss Perfect" pageant because her "Wow" number was too sexually charged....

It was a little hectic in between interview and we were rushing and she forgot to put her panties on and when she did that running split jump she gave everyone a smiley face...

I don't know what the big deal is...you seen one clam you've seen em all plus another girl did a dance routine to "Push it" with pull away balloon pants, now that is a real crime....

i guess my pageant coaching days are over already....well maybe i could coach someone in the Miss LES pageant, thats more my speed...

kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! in Hospital

hey kids,

Well being a "Little Miss Perfect" pageant coach isn't as easy as I thought. I was showing Wanda my idea's for her dance number for "Wow" wear and i got carried away and did a running split jump. I did it all the time when I was showing my girls some erotic moves back in the day but I have to remember I'm 60 now and things crack a little easier.

I'm fine, I just bruised my inner thighs and pulled quite a few muscles, nothing a martini and a pain killer can't handle. The most important thing is that little Wanda can do the running split jump, she can really move for a chunky gal. We are almost done with all of her moves and the pageant is next week.

Florida is a strange place, they serve McDonald's in the hospital i'm staying in....
Goodness!!

kisses, MargOH!

Little Miss Perfect

Hey kids,

I don't know if any of you have been watching the show "Little Miss Perfect" , a reality show that follows those little girl pageants hosted by Michael Galanes. It is a train wreck....and he is the conductor, what a hoot he is.....check it out!

Anyway, the other day I got a call out of the blue from a childhood friend Lulu Babcock. She was "Little Miss Lobster Tail" the year before I won at the Maine Lobster fest..I'm still the reigning "Little Miss Lobster tail", they never had the pageant again after the mayor was caught grabbing the tails of many of the contestants including me but I had a nut cracker in my purse for the lobster claw cracking contest so I took care of things on my own..if you get my drift.

Well Lulu called me and told me that her granddaughter Wanda Lee Sissy Jean Plumpkin was entered into one of the "Little Miss Perfect" pageants in Florida. Poor Lulu has had a rough time of it and is living in a manufactured home in Orange Blossom Florida. She asked me if I'd consider coaching little Wanda Lee, she's 13 with double d's Lulu added and mentioned that they wanted to do a Dolly parton number for the "Wow" wear portion of the show and seeing how I ran a bordello in the past thought I'd be perfect to help Wanda with her "Best little whore house in Texas" number. I was a little hesitant at first but after she told me what she was willing to pay, I said yes. I'm packing and leaving tonight.

I feel a little weird still about the money thing, Lulu is paying me 3,000 plus expenses and when I asked her how much the girls got for winning she said 1,000....but she said its not about the money but getting Wanda Lee and her knockers some airtime on WeTV. She said her dream was for Wanda Lee to follow in the footsteps of Anna Nicole Smith.....

We all have to have a goal....

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH!'s movin

Hey kids,

Goodness, after a long search and a few sexual acts MargOH! and the gang are moving to a luxury building in the Bronx, yes the Bronx, a nice section of the Bronx. It has 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi tub...It actually also has 2 bathrooms so the Jacuzzi tub is all MargOH!'s. MargOH!'s Manhattan lifestyle has ended and I gotta tell you what a relief it is. My one bedroom just wasn't cutting it any longer and to be honest to see my wardrobe mistress Berna sleeping in the closet was a bit sad...the poor thing. Plus, don't forget my Aunt Fawn and my two moms have been with me Trudie and Sully...I know, I know and you are right my mother Sully has tried making a few bucks off the plane landing on the Hudson and granted 3 interviews but when she started talking about how she cut herself on a tuna can the gig was up..

Anyway we are moving in May and that'll be fun, of course our neighbor Linda Hunt has offered to help us so I'll make sure I save all the heavy lifting for her, she is really strong. She pinned me down after tried to take a sip of her margarita the other night at happy hour..

One good thing was that my Aunt Fawn got a job as a practice skater for 'Stars on ice" so she will be assisting Scott Hamilton in getting that Tara Lipinski back in shape...she been off the ice for a while and Fawn's large carriage instills fear in her subjects so she'll do fine, I mean her time spent in Minnesota teaching all those pregnant teens how to skate really payed off...

I have my two moms and her bunking all in the same room because I needed one room for my costumes and make-up. Berna will be in that room as well, oh dear it really is another closet for old Berna but it will have a bed in it.....


OK, kids gotta run to pick out drapes....

kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! gets back to her roots

hey kids,

The past few weeks have been a blast and I performed in some great shows. I did a Golden Girls tribute show and a gender bending burlesque show "Hypergender Burlesque"
Here are some photo's from the shows..






kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! made the Village Voice

Hey kids,

Well it took me a while but after 27 years I've made the Village Voice again but this time for being a performer, not performing sexual acts on neil sedaka. I'm part of a show presented by Victoria "A Tribute to the Golden Girls 2". It has been chosen as a Voice Choice...

This is no small feat for an artist in this city especially a gal of 61...

I don't usually toot my own horn but what the hell..break out the booze!!

XO, MargOH!

Getting away

Hey kids,

MargOH! is getting out of dodge..The city has me in a slump, not to mention all the hags living in my house..They are driving me crazy!!

I booked Berna and I a spa weekend in Newport..I know, I know, newport in winter...but Mamma's on a budget, the work has dried up a bit but I have been booked for 2 live shows coming up and also 2 extra jobs in the spring...

Honestly, I was a little upset after going to see "He's just not that into you" because they cut my scene. I was in one of those scenes where the real people talk about relationships, my segment was "If your new girlfriend ends up being a guy". It was unscripted and I thought my observations were hilarious, like, "Its not that big of a deal, just hold onto the shaft when you are riding the caboose" and "Sometimes you can't have a cupcake and have to settle for hard candy". I called the director and he said my statements were a little harsh but he might put them into the dvd extra's. I of course think its a no brainer, I was talking about gals that have that little something extra...

Well, I'm off. Berna is picking up the rental as we speak, I know, I know. I had to let my car service go, it's sad but like Sully said and no i'm not talking about Sully who landed in the hudson to get a book deal, I'm talking about my mother Sully who said sometimes you have to pass the shrimp cocktail and get canned salmon for a while....


XO, MargOH!

Doing time on east 23rd street

Hey Kids,

Where do I begin...I'm going crazy with my living arrangement and fear I may have to move to the suburbs. I need more space before I kill one of my family members.

Though things have gotten a little easier because I got my ex-mother Sully who is now my Aunt, My mother Trudie and my Aunt Fawn Jobs on rotating shifts. Sully got a job at the fish market across the street and works 10-7. Trudie got a bartending job at McSwiggans working 3-11 and sometimes til 4am depending on how she is feeling and Aunt Fawn is working at chelsea peirs sharpening skates from 11-7. Linda hunt thought it was cruel that I made them all get jobs seeing their ages average 74 but please, oh boo hoo I said.

If they want to live in the big city they have to act like big girls not shriveled up versions of what they used to be. Please , Sully looks younger than me and since she started working she is back to buying and wearing mini skirts from american apparel. Aunt Fawn, has the legs of a young dancer and just strted taking hip hop dance lessons...you get my point...

So I've been having some down time but can't have any men over, if you know what i mean and I'm horny....

I started looking at houses in Yonkers....Oh dear!!

Help!!!

XO, MargOH!