Welcome to MargOH!'s World

MargOH! Channing is Tipsy again

2011-11-07T08:01:00.000-08:00

It's been forever kids and I know I need to blog more and I will but the big news is I have a show November 18 9:30PM at The Duplex

Check details out here

See you at the party Kids!! XO, M

MargOH! on Broadway world

2011-05-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

I got some press for my new show "MargOH! Channing is Tipsy" on Broadwayworld.

MargOH! Channing is Tipsy

2011-05-06T06:49:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I have a new show in June. MargOH! Channing is Tipsy. Check out the flyer.
I've written two new songs and lots of new material...

See ya at the party Kids!

XO, MargOH!

Only in New York City

2011-03-29T07:50:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

Gerry Visco vamps it up!

On Monday night I performed at Gerry Visco's show "The Gerry Party" at The Wild Project. It was one of those crazy nights that only can happen in New York City – and I LOVED it, kids! Just like the old days!

I think Gerry's vision was to have a loose party style show. Things got loose for sure..including my Gay Fiancé MAN-ee Champagne drooling over Gio Black Peter and Fixx Invictus! Ah, well, I can't blame him, Gio does have a gorgeous cock. Anyway, I love Gerry Visco and think she is an amazing woman, who has a heart of gold and gorgeous rack (we have so much in common!).

Once the show got started there wasn't any formal line-up so we just had to decide when to go on, etc. This was part of Gerry's vision I think... some of the other performers were Charlie Demos, Gabe Fuller The Virgin Queen, Katie Madonna Lee, Rico Noguchi and the legendary Penny Arcade. The unexpected addition to the cast was a pit bull named Sir Pudge, the canine roommate to Cole Nahal the director of the show.

I went on after Charlie Demos and his sexy girls including the gorgeous Kristen Tabbutt, who sexily hypnotized the audience with their Black Widow number. Charlie is an edgy performer who is always on point. I admire him! He's not only talented but also a very nice guy...

Although Cole was the director of the show, he said that Gerry was not a force to be controlled and suggested that it might be a good time to join her onstage and shake the crowd up. So I sauntered onto the stage and deep tongued Gerry to get her attention – and get her off the stage. The woman knows how to use those lips! Anyway after tongue fucking Gerry I took the mic and I did a few of my standard jokes - to zero laughter. I thought to myself...”remind me not to tell these again when I'm sober!” My last heart tugging anecdote about my mother telling me I was as pretty as Liza Minnelli - from 80 feet away did strike a chord so I figured it was a good point to wow the kids and busted into Liza's “New York New York”.

To my confusion, dismay and then eventual delight Sir Pudge walked on stage half way through the number. What IS a queen to do? Go with it...Kids! I have to say it was one of the best performances I've ever done. I even got a few of the audience off their feet...Thank you Pudge, you and I were amazing - let’s work together again soon.

On next was Gabe Fuller who really is an excellent singer and songwriter. I adore "The Virgin Queen" and his make-up is flawless...tips please Gabe! After this there was a sing along of "You are my sunshine". I joined in and danced with the lovely girl playing a dead Alice in Wonderland or Edward Gorey character or something, anyway she was absolutely delightful.

I then went out in the audience to watch what happened next. Penny Arcade took the stage. She did one of her signature numbers and all was going well. Penny can capture an audience like no one else. She is amazing! Towards the end of her monologue her music stopped and the DJ Tyler Stone got a bit flustered and tried to start the music over. Penny told him it was okay and to just go with it – she was in the middle of her monologue and didn’t want to lose the flow...he snapped back and told her "Your five minutes were up five minutes ago", he may have used the word "bitch" but I wasn't certain. Penny in her diva style picked up the mic stand, threw it to the floor and walked off the stage.

In all the chaos Katie Madonna Lee ran up on stage, grabbed the mic from Gerry and started telling at Tyler to apologize to Penny. She told him he was nothing and Penny was a legend and he should fucking apologize. The drama, kids! I very nearly peed myself – I was certainly wet (but that could have been the gin spilling out of a drink from the rather messy creature next to me). But then Penny came from backstage with her coat in hand, smile on her face and hugged Katie for defending her and then also hugged DJ Tyler and walked out. Since I adore Penny so much I took that as my cue to hit the road...

I stepped into the dressing room and was applying my cold cream and had slipped on my dressing gown when Ricky Jones came in, took one startled look at me and said "The blush really fell off that rose"...

Well I never! BUT as with Miss Arcade I am impervious to embarrassment and don't really give a shit what people think of my looks! MargOH! had been a glammed up drag queen all weekend and was simply done!

In the end MAN-ee and I had a really fabulous time. I have to thank Gerry for asking me to perform. It truly was one of those unique, weird and zany evenings that you can only find in one place in the world. I can’t wait until the next installment – I hope to see you there!

Only in New York City kids...

Kisses, MargOH!

Happy Birthday Liza

2011-03-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I've got so much stuff going on lately and I have two posts that i started about my family drama but I'm not finished. I have been writing my fierth.com articles. I recently wrote one for Liza's birthday. If you've seen my shows you may know the story as to how I became Liza's stand in but if not read this piece.

I just booked my show for June, it will be on the 10th. Look out for more info on "MargOH! Channing is Tipsy'.

Kisses, M

The Inner Glow of Wendy Ho

2011-03-05T06:27:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

Check out my "Fictionview" with the funniest gal around Wendy Ho on Fierth

Kisses, MargOH!

My Elizabeth Taylor Tribute

2011-02-25T07:42:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

I wrote a little piece for the Dame Elizabeth Taylor on Fierth. Check it out.

She was and is a gorgeous lady..

Kisses, M

My short story Prohibition Inhibition

2011-02-10T07:17:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I recently wrote a short story for The Coelacanth Journal
The Journal was created by the fabulous artist Phoebe Blatton. She's amazing!!

It was a pleasure and I intend to turn this story into a full novel in the future. You can buy a copy of the journal in the link posted. I also have copies available for $5. There are fabulous stories and interviews by Phoebe Blatton, Bonnie Camplin, Duncan Carson, Owl Cave, Sally Cruikshank, Anne Guthrie, Neil McNally

There are also many past issues to enjoy and you'll be supporting art and artists by purchasing a copy...

Prohibition Inhibition

“Maggie you ready back there? The crowds filling up.”

“Hold your damn horses Danny! I’m testing this batch of gin.”

“You been testin’ it for an hour now and the bands itchin’ to get started.”

“ Tell ‘em to fire it up, I’m ready, the junipers just right now. Make yourself useful and take it to the bar and tell ‘em to strike up ‘A good man is hard to find’”

Danny scurried to the bar and yelled “Sully, take this new batch of gin for the pips.”

Sully snapped back “I hope it ain’t gonna blind anyone, she ain’t usin the grain”

Danny whispered to the band “A good man is hard to find boys, strike it.” Turning to the mic Danny announced “Ladies and gents The Holiday Cocktail Lounge is proud to present its legendary hostess and mother of the best gin in all of New York MargOH! Channing”

“Hey kids, welcome to my blind pig. Drink up some of my tasty gin over there served by Mama Sully. Remember kids both good men and good gin are hard to find”

My heart is sad and I'm all alone
My man's treating me mean, I regret the day that I was born
And the man I ever seen,
My happiness is less today
My heart is broke, that's why I say,
Lord, a good man is hard to find
You always get another kind

“Get it closed! the bulls are comin!” Sully yelled

I dropped my microphone. Danny told everyone to hush as I rushed to the door up the stairs to the first locked door. I pulled the keys from my knockers, then up the spiral staircase to the second locked door and opened the door grille slot looking into the eyes of detective Duncan Carson.

“What you boys want?”

“Maggie let us in we’re looking for Jimmy Smalls.”

“Boys he ain’t here and I gotta lot of sewing to do down here”

“Maggie we ain’t here to bust open the joint.”

“Then meet me upstairs boys I’ll be right up. I don’t know where Jimmy is”, I replied, “Give me five boys.”

“Hurry it up Mags we ain’t got all night”, detective Carson squawked.

“Hey boys, what’s Jimmy the butcher done now?”

“I’m not sure Maggie, we thought maybe you’d know. There’s a truckload of beef hijacked off the interstate… left the driver dead.”

“Detective Carson, you know as well as I do that I know dresses, THAT’S my trade. I woke up this morning and Jimmy wasn’t in the bed. He’ll be back. He may be a small time crook but he ain’t no murderer. Plus he got a side of beef last week and barely got enough ice to keep it up.”

“When you gonna dump that small time butcher and go on a date with me?” he leered placing his hand above me against the wall.

“Only two things are gonna make me go on a date with you; one, is stop leanin’ on my pig joint and two you divorce your wife.”

Detective Carson grabbed my wrist and brought me in hard and close threatening to bring both me and Jimmy down if I didn’t pay up. I pulled some dough out of my brassiere and shoved it in his pocket.

Suddenly the door opened and in swooped the one and only Mamie Doneworthy and her entourage of art and literary dames Pippa Plumkin, Katie Meriweather and Alice Abernathy. A Swellegantly dressed trio that benefited from Mamie’s connections and substantial bankroll.

“MargOH! darling, the 21 Club was simply packed to the gills…OH! Detective how are you darling?” throwing a confused look my way “I didn’t even see you there.” Turning back to me she continued “So um, uh… Maggie, as I started to say I need a new hat for my affair this fine April evening.”

“Mamie, honey, we’re closed. I was just finishing up with the detective but of course I’ll be happy to help you.” I leaned into Carson’s ear and whispered “If you want any more dough outta me then I gotta go cause they’re gonna be spending plenty”

“Alright Maggie but you tell Jimmy I’m lookin’ for him” and he and the boys walked out the door.

“Darling what was all that unpleasantness? I’ll never know why you left Zeigfeld. Dress maker? Please…you can’t even thread a needle!” Mamie moved to the full length mirror and re-applied her ruby red lipstick, “That Carson is one strapping dick. I may have to pay him a visit at his precinct.” She glided across the store and down the stairs. “I must say you are looking divine in that lame gown darling. Let’s do a duet Maggie, I’ll tell Danny to play something peppy!”

The girls all kissed me on the cheek as they followed Mamie down the stairs. I slapped Katie’s patootie and she winked back at me with a sexy grin.

“Mamie, you’re off the cob, I gotta look for Jimmy.”

“Oh apple sauce! Look for Jimmy later”

“Sully will take care of ya! I gotta make sure he ain’t up to somethin crooked.”

I bolted the door turned and crossed my arms pacing the floor of the old dress shop wondering what Jimmy was up to now.

I met Jimmy Smalls after a performance of “The Zeigfeld Follies of 1926” when I performed right next to the one and only Miss Fanny Brice. I had been a Zeigfeld girl since 1921 but that night Miss Brice was not very kind to the gals and she demanded I be in the back line because I was too pretty and tall to be next to her. I decided I wasn’t going to be pushed around by anyone and last minute I took my space right next to Miss Brice and nearly ruined her whole performance. She was so mad. I wasn’t sure if she or I got more laughs that night. Well afterwards she and Mr. Zeigfield had a heated argument about my antics and I thought for sure I was a goner. Luckily I was his favorite gal so she never stood a chance. I exited the stage door to a thunderous applause and enthusiastic autograph seekers. “I’ll take you any day over that Miss Fanny Brice, I’m Jimmy” he said as he pushed his way through the crowd towards me. He had the loveliest mane of black hair and a seductive smile. I asked him to buy me a bite to eat. I must say I was smitten. By daybreak we had made love and already started wedding plans.

It’s been five years and we still ain’t married and lots of things have changed. Jimmy didn’t like my performing so he opened me this stinkin’ dress shop filled with dummies and lots of grey material for the Women’s Christian Temperance Union. You know the lousy stinkers who started all this prohibition nonsense. So much for stayin’ proper. That’s when Jimmy got the idea of Holiday Lounge to cash in on everybody losing their inhibitions, it’s in the basement, and he even blew out the wall to his butcher shop so you can enter from both sides. We got the best pig joint in town, better than any uptown speakeasy!

I ran back down the stairs, through the crowd, up to the butcher shop and swung open the icebox door. I fell back and lost my footing, tripping down the stairs. I Stopped myself half way down and crawled back up slowly to see if what I had just seen was real. I opened the icebox door again and Jimmy was lying there with a meat cleaver in his head. I locked the icebox door in a slow panic and ran back to the bar, my mind racing. I slammed two bourbons from my private stock.

“What the hell Mags? You’re hittin the sauce hard. It ain’t going to be another night of washing you up again is it?” Sully asked

“What the hell are you going on about?”

“You don’t think I saw Jimmy in the deep freeze last night and you passed out over him. Mama’s takin’ care of everything… he’ll be outta here tonight”

“Last night? I don’t remember last night.” as I lay my head on the bar “I killed Jimmy?”, in a soft whisper

“I didn’t say you killed him but the way you were carryin’ on earlier about that truck load of beef I’m assuming you took care of it?”

“Oh! My god, my Jimmy. I don’t remember anything. Beef?”

“C’mon let’s do a duet Mags ” Mamie yelled

“I can’t right now Mamie, I got something to clean up” as I staggered through the crowd and back up to the butcher shop sobbing about my Jimmy. Then panic set in. What did I do? Why? For sure Carson would be back lookin’ for Jimmy and I was going to the slammer or on the lamb. I scoped the room out and noticed there was no stock at all. Where was the beef? Everything was gone, not even enough for a slugburger. I thought maybe we was robbed! Then out of nowhere a vision appeared before me. I threw both hands over my eyes and fell back into the icebox and peered out through my fingers.

“MargOH! You are going to pay for what you did”, Jimmy said in a ghostly tone.

“I didn’t do nothin’”, I screamed back

“Hahaha, Maggie but you did! You murdered me after I hauled in all that beef” and then he faded away

“What the hell’s all the racket up here Mags”? Mamie came up behind me
I pointed “It’s Jimmy”

“Where’s Jimmy, I don’t see him, c’mon old girl let’s do that duet before the band gets cold”

“Enough with the goddamned duet!!”

Ignoring me she pulled me back down the stairs and into the crowd by the bar. I grabbed my bottle of bourbon and took a long slug. The next thing I knew Mamie was dragging me on stage still yappin’ about her duet. I felt dizzy and leaned on the piano Jimmy was sitting there asking me what I was going to sing to him. I screamed and swung around smacking Mamie in the face with the bourbon, knocking her out cold. Danny held her in his arms “Get the dame some ice”, he yelled

“What the hell you doin’ Maggie?” Sully asked

“It’s Jimmy” I yelled as the girls ran over to Mamie

“Jimmy’s ghost is haunting me, he’s right there, don’t you see him”? I yelled to the crowd.

“Have another drink, MargOH!” someone yelled. Sully then grabbed me off the stage as the alert bell sounded.

“OH!, it’s the coppers back again, I gotta get outta here”

“Hold steady Mags, I won’t turn ya in”, Sully snarled as she opened the door and Carson barreled into the stairway.

“Where’s Jimmy? I got a description for the beef heist and he fits the bill”

“Dead, and she killed him” Sully pushed me into Carson

“Mother how could you? Turning to Carson “He is dead but I don’t remember killing anyone”

“I’ll take you to the body.” I staggered up the stairs grasping onto the rail so tightly that it splintered under my grip. A trail of blood ran down my hand. As we walked to the icebox I thought how could a Zeigfeld girl get herself to this point over a man. I swung open the ice box and it was empty, the body was gone.

“So where is he Mags? Carson demanded, grabbing a hold of me.

“She must have taken care of it. Right Sully?” “She told me she was going to take care of it”
Staggering up the stairs with an ice pack to her head Mamie asked “Maggie you loved Jimmy, you wouldn’t kill him would ya?”

“Mamie don’t go up there, she’s hallucinatin’ from all that gin” Danny begged

“We both loved him didn’t we Mamie?” I yelled and looked deep into her eyes “I know you two were going at it, maybe you killed him?”

“You’re insane! This has gone too far boys, it’s a joke! Jimmy get in here!”

“Oh yeah, it’s no joke to me! I saw the meat cleaver in his head. He’s been haunting me. Carson what am I going to do? Hold me” Carson grabbed my head and pressed me against him. I could feel his manhood rising in the suit I made him. He led me to the empty ice box and said.

“There’s no evidence Mags! I can fix this for ya if you treat me right.” He leaned into kiss me and that’s when I saw Jimmy standing in the ice box door. I grabbed Carson’s piece and pointed it at both of them.

“Jimmy what do you want from me? What do both of you want from me?” I yelled and closed my eyes

I heard Jimmy’s voice yell “April Fools Mags!” I heard laughter from every corner right as I began firing over and over again. When I opened my eyes and Jimmy and Carson lay mangled on the floor. Sully was limping back down the stairs yelling ‘It was an April Fool’s joke Mags” as she hit the floor. I ran down to her trying to understand what she was saying “It was a joke. It was a joke you dumb dora but now it’s the April Fool’s Day Massacre” as her head fell to the side and she took her last breath.

“I guess the jokes on you now ain’t it mother” I laughed insanely.
Mamie ran into the hallway screaming as Danny hit the floor in shock. Pointing my gun at her I yelled “Hey Doneworthy you ready for that duet now!” and before she could say anything I shot her between the eyes.

I made my way to the stage caressing the gun before I put it down on the piano. “A little Happy days boys?” and I sang

“Howdy gay times Cloudy gray times
You are now a thing of the past
Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
So let's sing a song of cheer again
Happy days are here again”

“Cut, that’s a wrap!” Director Phoebe Buttonwood exclaimed! She ran to me before I could gather myself and said “Great job MargOH! This is going get you that Oscar!” The whole cast and crew gathered and applauded. A tear came to my eye as I said “Thank you to all of the cast and crew of “The April Fools Massacre” for making me even better than I usually am. I’m sure it was a dream to work with me on this film and please give a hand to Phoebe Buttonwood for such an inspired directorial debut after which I’m sure she will be a better director for having worked with me.” It’s not often you find a director that would take my suggestion to turn this subject matter into a musical” more applause.

“Now, let’s have a drink!” I shimmied through the crowd swinging my flapper pearls. I took a big swig of the bourbon old fashioned with extra cherries I requested and turned and yelled “Salut”
------------
“And the Oscar goes to Oh... my how wonderful! MargOH! Channing for “The April Fools Massacre Musical”. The crowd jumped to their feet into a thunderous applause as Phoebe Buttonwood made her way to the stage. The reality of the moment dawned on the audience and a quiet swept over the room. Phoebe began to speak:

“This is a bittersweet moment for me and the world. I so wish MargOH! could be here to accept this and I’m sure she would be thanking you for making her an even bigger star with this award. She wasn’t exactly humble. MargOH! told me that playing herself in a film about Prohibition and it’s trappings was the role of a lifetime. I still can’t believe she’s gone and wish she had requested a glass of wine that final day. In MargOH!’s honor I have made it my mission to warn people of the dangers of Maraschino cherries. That’s why I am wearing this cherry colored ribbon and I will keep up the fight until they are banned from every cocktail and Shirley Temple made around the world. MargOH! would want it this way, she wouldn’t want another actress as good as her to choke to death from those devil stemmed time bombs! Please join me in the fight.” Phoebe grabbed a jar out of her purse, held it high and smashed it to the floor and passionately cried

“Say NO to MaraschiNO’s.”

The crowd jumped to their feet with thunderous applause. As Phoebe wept, she quietly added “For MargOH!” and exited the stage clasping the Oscar.

The end.

By MargOH! Channing

MargOH!'s Fierth writings

2011-02-05T09:45:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

Last year I got an email from the darling Mike Diamond who does red carpet coverage for Logo. He asked me if I was interested in writing a birthday tribute to Joan Crawford for Fierth.com . I live by the word of Joan and her book "My Way of Life" so he thought I'd be perfect to write it.
I of course accepted the offer but then realized I had only 4 days to write it.

I became a bit frantic but thought I can do it and I'm really proud of the articles I've written for Fierth. Brian and Mike gave me a gift to explore my writing and have fun with MargOH! and the subjects. I especially love the Bette Davis tribute.

Writing is my first love. It always has been and I've had so much fun exploring the fierth world. I'm thankful to Brian and Mike for the opportunity...

Check out all of my writing on Fierth.comKisses, MargOH!

Cover your eyes

2011-02-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

After spending a couple of weeks in London and a stop over in Iceland I returned to New York a happy gal.

Until I walked into my apartment and opened my bedroom door!!

I couldn't believe my eyes...There they were clinging to each other in a naked pretzel. Well let me say a naked doughnut...Pretzels are a bit too thin to describe my wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge. I felt faint and crumbled to the floor in a heap.

I woke up with my ex Aunt Trudie, now mother leaning over me with her massive tits slapping me in the face...I pushed her away and ran for my portable martini bar to fix myself something even more dirty than what I had just seen.

My wardrobe mistress Berna and my ex Aunt, now mother Trudie in a Lesbian love fest...in my very own bed...good grief...

My poor gay fiance MAN-ee was so traumatized he had to take to watching episodes of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" to get his mind off the vision.

It has been a while since Berna has stirred up any drama but this one takes the cake...eating out my mother for goodness sakes...

You may all remember that it was my Aunt, now mother Trudie who came and got me from Bangor at the age of 12. I then worked at her bar "Big Trudie's" on Delancy street, it had a backroom for what Trudie said was for "The Peppermint Patties". I worked there for 6 years until I was discovered by Russ Meyer tending bar one day...

Back in the day Trudie had all the gals...I guess times change and at 78 all she can get is Berna... After about 10 dirty martini's somehow I started to understand...

Maybe I should quit drinking?

Kisses, MargOH!

The Young Ones

2011-02-02T11:06:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

So I've started writing some new material for my upcoming show "MargOH! Channing is Tipsy". I've been thinking of talking about how this old girl interacts a lot with much younger kids...Which is fun...hot boys, sexy girls, hot nipples and hard buns...

So here is a little something:

I do so love interacting and being friends with younger kids, it's such a pleasure for an old lady like MargOH! The younger generation of gays are so much fun and willing to accept almost anything. I think it's because of the Internet(pause)or maybe their mothers were drinking scotch while breast feeding. I think this generation of twenty some thing's were back on the utters weren't they?

I was a formula baby, my mother knew she would have killed me with her bathtub gin... I think breast fed kids are much more aware and conscientious. Really they are, the younger gays are so neat and clean, plucked pubes and Brazilian bung holes. so clean. My generation wasn't so lucky, the 70's (Long Pause) you could give their pubes a bouffant during a blow job...and rimming was a messy situation (pause) like making popcorn in your mouth...the dingle berries...there was no need for dental floss in the 70's...Well I mean their mothers were smoking and listening to Elvis...

Don't get me wrong, I don't love everything about these kids... and I have sometimes tried to keep up with them not so successfully...last week I bought a pair a skinny jeans ( long Pause and act like putting them on)...Lets just say I turned them into leg warmers so for me they are skinny ankle jeans...

More mind blowing comedy coming soon...LOL

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! interviewed by Mike Diamond on "Say What?"

2011-02-01T12:29:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I did and interview with Mike Diamond for his pod/videocast a while ago and it was fun.

Check it out! I was really wrecked...

Kisses, M

Family Secrets

2011-02-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

It's been sometime since i've updated you all on my family and the crazy going on. I did tell you that after years of thinking my Aunt Trudie was dead she actually was alive and living in the south of france. I of course went to find her and eventually did. This opened up a whole can of worms that I wasn't expecting. To make a long story short the woman who I thought was my mother " Sully" is actually my Aunt and Aunt Trudie is actually my mother...Confused... Of course so was I...

In the next few months it was a like a whirlwind of exploration and putting the pieces of a puzzle together. Not to mention that my old mother now Aunt Sully and my old aunt now mother Trudie moved in with me along with another Aunt Fawn "tastic" Channing due to everyone falling on hard times. Well besides Sully who was asked to leave the Fishmongers retirement home in Wasila Alaska for mooning and pooping on Sarah Palin's front lawn...atta auntie

I then had to move from my Manhattan flat to Brooklyn to accomadate everyone including my gayiance MAN-ee Champagne and my wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge. I still had no room for Berna so I set her up in the walk-in closet to keep her happy. She eventually got fed up for some reason and moved in with her union buddy Jack in Jersey City...thank goodness I now have a place for my costumes...

Now I'm making this all seem like it was a piece of cake or the popping of a bottle of champagne. It wasn't!! due to the fact that my now Aunt Sully and new mother, ex aunt Trudie hate eachother. I'll get to that backstory in another post. This has to do with the fact that my father Salty was really a bad man and was banging people he shouldn't have including adopted sisters...Yes, it's true my new Mother Trudie is actually Sully's adopted sister, not Salty's sister as I had been led to believe.

Following me?

Well after doing some more digging I did find out that my new mother and ex Aunt Trudie was adopted by my grandparents. She was adopted after my grandmothers Cousin Urilla and her husband Jacob were killed in a fishing accident. The issue with this is that it was found out after doing a family tree that my father Salty's mother was also a cousin of my new mother's Trudie's mother Urilla...So Salty and Trudie are cousins. Now no one ever told my new mother Trudie she was adopted by my grandmother so she didn't know she was related to Salty...

See what happens when you keep family secrets...

What you get is

Me! MargOH! Channing and it's giving me a headache...

I will continue this after a stiff drink, a dirty martini of course to help with this headache. I can't wait to tell you what happened this weekend when I caught someone in a sex act....

MargOH! on New Now Next Pop Lab

2011-02-01T07:51:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

I usually don't go all crazy promoting myself. Well of course I do to any liquor company i can get a sponsorship from...hint hint.

Anyway my darling Mike Diamond from LOGO and Fierth.com interviewed me at the Glammy's a few months ago. I have a bit that aired a few weeks ago where I can be
seen giving advice to upcoming queens. i tell them to be "Slutty".

Isn't that charming...

Love it!

Check it out kids!!

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! on the red carpet

2011-02-01T07:36:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

A couple of weeks ago I attended the Johnny Weir book release party. I walked the red carpet for the first time in a while. As the worlds most decorated extra I rarely attend premiere's.

Though looking gorgeous in the background is an art form I'm often forgotten. I don't really care because I get a huge paycheck for doing nothing really. Thats not completely true. I often give acting pointers to the stars especially Kim Catrall. She is thrilled to be nominated for a Razzie this year and I feel I had a small part in that...

Johnny was lovely and really sweet. I also met Dick Button who is one strapping man for his age, also lovely!!

Had a blast so glad to have gone...

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH!'s Kickstarter Project

2010-11-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

MargOH!'s looking for donations to help her get to London with her full show. What makes a legend drink more? London Style

Check it out kids and throw a few shackles on MargOH!

MargOH!'s on the radio show "Joust it out"

2010-08-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

MargOH! is Truely becoming multi media, she's done Movies, TV, the stage and now Radio. Thats right kids MargOH! is doing a segment called "In the backroom" with MargOH! on Joust it out

It will be on every wednesday from 7-9PM. I'll be chatting in the chat room and then doing my segment from 8:45 to-9PM.

Check it out kids...

Kisses, MargoH!

MargOH! returns What makes a legend drink more?

2010-07-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

MargOH!'s next show What makes a legend drink more? is August 7 back at the duplex cabaret.

After a sellout show in May, much loved gay icon MargOH! Channing returns this August with an encore performance “What makes a legend drink more?” August 7 , 10PM at The Duplex Cabaret , 61 Christopher Street on the corner of 7th Ave South in Greenwich Village.

"Channing is one part voice, three parts panache and four parts boozy which made for an hysterical evening"- Next Magazine

"Dazzled the crowd with song, dance and comedy-she’s one hell of a broad and a true star”- Fierth Magazine

"MargOH! Channing's show is the only one I've ever seen where the performer goes far beyond the normal cabaret 2-drink minimum"- Stu Hamstra-Cabaret Hotline

MargOH! will be fusing her raucous onstage persona and famously bombastic voice with The Jarad Astin Trio and backed by the vocal styling’s of the MargOH!-tini’s. MargOH! will perform songs made famous by Petula Clark, Shirley Bassey, Eartha Kitt and Salt –n- Pepa to name a few. As part of the celebration she will be joined by her long time 'gay fiance' MAN-ee Champagne and some surprise guests to be announced as she reminisces about her family, lovers and the ups and downs of her career.
Her hilarious stage shows have become something of an event on the downtown scene and are always must-sees for her ardent fans. MargOH!'s last show in May, which included a performance by her dear friend Nellie McKay, was received with such excitement that she has been forced to add a date at The Duplex this August.

MargOH! Channing is the most decorated extra in the history of motion pictures and television having appeared in over 1,800 films including The Planet of the Apes, Steel Magnolia’s and the recent Sex and the City sequel. She is the recipient of 7 Exies. Meryl Streep once told her that “Your ability to do nothing in the background is amazing” and Sally field once mentioned that “MargOH!’s fake banter oozes realism”. MargOH! also created and hosted a highly successful variety show “The MargOH! Channing Show” that appeared on MNN from 2003-2006 and included such guests as Michael Musto, Penny Arcade, Ken Kleiber and Nellie McKay. MargOH! made her cabaret debut in 2006 with “The MargOH! Channing Variety Hour” at the Duplex Cabaret and additional performances at The D-Lounge at the Daryl Roth Theater. In 2007 she debuted her show “What makes a legend drink most?” for a 3 week engagement at the Laurie Beechman Theater, followed up by a command performance titled “MargOH! RAW”. These shows were followed by a series of burlesque events featuring the sultry sounds of The Dirty Boogaloo titled “Mamma MargOH!’s All Soul Burlesque Revue” performed at the legendary spots Lucky Cheng’s and Don Hills. Ms. Channing is currently shopping her memoirs The Life and Times of MargOH! Channing around and recently became a contributing writer for the nightlife magazine “Fierth”.

After speaking by phone with Ms. Channing she says herself; "I'm so thrilled to be back at the Duplex this summer, kids it's going to hot!, well I hope not that hot, the dressing room was so steamy for the last show I sweated down to a size 8. I think it best that I get dressed in an ice box for this show so everything is pointed skyward". MargOH! also added that she was thrilled to have Thom Fogarty join the “What makes a legend drink more?” team as Director.

THOM FOGARTY has been at "it" since 1973. First as a dancer, performing with many of the downtown NYC scene-makers of the 80's and 90's. As a choreographer created works with Joseph Chaikin (of The Living Theatre and founder of The Open Theatre), Paul Zimet (The Talking Band), the Judson Poets Theater, DV8 Physical Theatre (London) and H.M. Koutoukas. His choreography has been presented throughout Europe and the United States. He taught dance and theater craft in Dusseldorf, Germany, and at Long Island University. He directed the cabaret-styled one-woman show of Julie Kurnitz (CLINICAL TRIALS, based on her living with and eventual untimely death from Marfan Syndrom). He choreographed and performed in the 2007 and 2009 revivals of Al Carmines’ musicale CHRISTMAS RAPPINGS. In 2010 he has directed MOMENTS + LEMONS, by Fred Giancinto (Theater for the New City, NYC), a circus piece with Aidan O’Shea, BEING HEARD: The Lillian Smith Story, a one-woman show written and performed by Lulu Fogarty, (Dixon Place, NYC), and BAD CONNECTIONS? by Michael Levesque and performed by Paul Cosentino, just opened at the Hollywood Fringe Festival and is headed to the Edmonton Fringe Festival before coming to NYC in Sept.2010. Thom is thrilled to be working with the MARGOH CREW. He is a proud member of Stage Directors and Choreographers Society (SDC).

“What makes a legend drink more?” takes place on August 7 at The Duplex Cabaret, 61 Christopher Street on the corner of 7th Ave south in Greenwich Village Show 10PM. Cover is $15 plus 2 drink minimum. Reservations required (212) 255-5438

Judy Garland

2010-06-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I wrote a piece about Judy Garland for Fierth.com. Judy is my inspiration. Love her!

Kisses, M

Sandra Bernhard Tribute

2010-06-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I wrote a tribute to my darling Sandra Bernhard. I think Sandra is a sexy beast and I love her!

Check it out!

Kisses, MargOH!

Tribute to Miss Peggy Lee

2010-05-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

hey Kids,

I'm writing this fun series of tributes for Fierth.com. This was the latest one for Miss Peggy Lee

What a dame she was! Love her!!

XOXO ,MargOH!

News from Fierth.com

2010-05-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

Another piece on MargOH!'s show "What makes a legend drink more?". It's a sweet little commentary on MargOH!...

I want to thank everyone in this show. My music director Jarad Astin, The band Jay Brunka on upright bass, Darryl Baker on drums. My MargOH!-tini's Dulce Duleche and Crystal Peterson. Then of course my MAN-ee Champagne aka Jeff Catlow.

There were also a lot of people off the stage that helped old MargOH! Thanks to all of them! Mr. Rex Lott for his gorgeous promotional Photographs, Claire Sanders for costuming, Little Stormy for her gorgeous hats, Thom Fogarty for last minute direction and special material, Rob rowan on camera duty and of course Mike Dantico for moral support...

Love all of you!!

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! in the news

2010-05-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

MargOH! got a couple of lovely write-ups about her latest show "What makes a legend drink more?" and I'm just over the moon about it!

I worked hard on putting a well written and well rounded show together. I feel I accomplished what I set out to do and it's such a lovely feeling.

I've written a new song MargOH! on the rocks which i'm so proud of and am going to write another...Liza no pants...LOL.

I'm also so happy I chose to do a tribute to my pooch Kim Fung, she passed away almost a year ago. I feel like she is a guiding spirit in my life now. Spreading the joyous spirit she had here on earth to me now through love and light wherever she is...Love you Miss Binks!

Another show in July... Lets do it!

But first a martini!!

XO, MargOH!

Press for What makes a legend drink more?

2010-04-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

hey Kids,

A little press from Broadway world. Gotta love that!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Tribute to Joan Crawford

2010-04-08T15:07:00.000-07:00

hey Kids,

This was the tribute I did for Joan Crawford. I have to say writing these two articles has been two of my biggest thrills in sometime. I love performing in front of a live audience and making people laugh but writing is my true love..well besides a dirty martini of course...When I finished these articles and saw them go live it gave me chills...to be able to share my stories and history and know people enjoy them is such a rush...just amazing to me!

Hope you all like this one...I love the person Joan was...just fabulous and a little crazy...

Kisses, MargOH!

Bette Davis Tribute for Fierth.com

2010-04-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

Hye Kids,

I did an article for fierth.com, a tribute to Bette Davis in celebration of her birthday.

Check it out!

Kisses, MargOH!

"What makes a legend drink more?"

2010-04-01T07:49:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

I'm in rehearsals for my latest cabaret "What makes a legend drink more?". Here's the press release and Promo's.

MargOH! Channing in “What makes a legend drink more?” - 5/20/2010
“What makes a legend drink more?” May 20, 9:30PM

"Fierce!" – Time Out New York

“MargOH! Channels so many people, she makes me laugh out loud”- Nellie McKay

“MargOH! Has a huge sense of humor- HX

Much loved gay icon MargOH! Channing returns this May with an all new show! After selling out shows around the world MargOH! is back to celebrate her 62nd birthday in style with a brand new show at the Duplex Cabaret,“What makes a legend drink more?”May 20 , 9:30PM at The Duplex Cabaret , 61 Christopher Street on the corner of 7th Ave south in Greenwich village.

This time around, MargOH! will be fusing her raucous onstage persona and famously bombastic voice with The Jarad Astin Trio and backed by the vocal styling’s of the MargOH!-tini’s. MargOH! will perform songs made famous by Petula Clark, Shirley Bassey, Eartha Kitt and Salt –n- Pepa to name a few. As part of the celebration she will be joined by her long time 'gay fiance' MAN-ee Champagne and some surprise guests to be announced as she reminisces about her family, lovers and the ups and downs of her career.

MargOH! Channing is the most decorated extra in the history of motion pictures and television having appeared in over 1,800 films and the recipient of 7 Exies. Meryl Streep once told her that “Your ability to do nothing in the background is amazing” and Sally field once mentioned that “MargOH!’s fake banter oozes realism”.
Her hilarious stage shows have become something of an event on the downtown scene and are always must-sees for her ardent fans.

MargOH!'s last show, What Makes a Legend Drink Most?, was received with such excitement that she was forced to add a date at The Duplex with Raw: A Command Performance, her sell-out special which featured a surprise appearance from good friend Nellie McKay. This Summer MargOH! will be making pride appearances in San Diego, New York and Barcelona, cementing her status as a cherished gay icon.

After speaking by phone with Ms. Channing she says herself; "I'm so thrilled to be returning to the New York stage and not a moment too soon, much like everyone else, I’ve become a victim of the bad economy and have been forced to sell Avon in between extra roles so as well as entertaining the kids, I’ll be handing out catalogues for deals on Skin so soft and Lip gloss, a legends work is never done”.

“What makes a legend drink more?” takes place on May 20 at The Duplex Cabaret, 61 Christopher Street on the corner of 7th Ave south in Greenwich Village Show 9:30. Cover is $15 plus 2 drink minimum. Reservations required.

New Show

2010-03-15T18:00:00.001-07:00

Hey Kids,

MargOH!'s got a new show coming, What makes a legend drink more?. here are a few promo pictures..

Kisses, MargOH!

The Mysterious Case of Phoebe and Duncs

2009-12-15T06:15:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

Last week I had the pleasure of hosting some darling's from across the pond. Artist Phoebe Blatton and her beau Duncan, Duncs for short. Now of course I had to send some of the troops away to make room for our guests. I sent Aunt Fawn "Tastic" Channing to a Seniors figure skating retreat in Colorado and I'm happy to say she has been hired to stay on as the Social director for the rest of the season and its sponsored by Viagra, how fitting. I also sent Sully and Trudie to Alaska. It's been Sully's mission to bed Levi Johnston since his playgirl spread came out, so she's out on a hunt with a taser and tranquilizer gun.

That left Berna but she was working late nights at the Letterman show and I didn't think she'd be a problem. I was wrong, she was like an octopus with poor duncs, trying to stroke him anywhere and everywhere with her chubby little fingers.

Poor Phoebe was in a state over Berna, shooting her Mariah Carey glances with Tyra Banks attitude and I felt for the poor dear.

After all she had painted the most lovely portrait of my beloved Kim Fung and was trying to be gracious about the whole thing. Duncs was also so kind to supply me with a bottle of Hendricks Gin.

I'm sure most of you know what usually happens to MargOH! on gin, I get a bit frisky but the Hendricks didn't have the same effect, I just got drunk...very nice.

Kids, the second night they were staying with us we went out for a lovely meal in Williamsburg and they also asked us to go to a party with a western theme. Now, I thought about it and realized that neither Man-ee nor I had any western wear. I had thrown out my Annie Oakley costume many years ago and MAN-ee didn't take to the chaps I bought him and he made them into lovely leather place mats, he's so crafty. We decided not to go to the party after all and said goodbye to Phoebe and Duncs, little did I know that they would be missing for a day.

You see once they got to the party they were confronted with an angry mob of stylists who didn't like their choice of costume for the soiree and the friends that were supposed to meet them there hadn't arrived. Phoebe explained that they had just arrived from London and had little time to put anything together but she thought the plaid blouse she wore was sufficient and Duncs had on a poncho, what more could they want???

The problem was that these stylists were not only bitchy but hungry as well and had only nibbled on beer nuts and Beef Jerky so they were a bit berserk.

One of the stylists flew into a rage and told another to tie them up and put them in a room where they would have to learn the importance of western wear in America. The poor dears, for the next 24 hours they were made to watch stylist after stylist wearing western garb starting from an 1859 Indian tribal gown to a queen dressed as the cowboy from the village people. At least they were fed, maize, pit beef, extra spicy chicken wings and western fried oysters i.e. bulls balls...

Luckily we had walked them to the party before getting on the subway and after about mid morning I started to worry. I called berna and told her to gather up some of her union buddies to set out a search party for my guests. We headed over and I rang the bell with no answer so I had Berna scale the wall, which was not a pretty sight, she only had on her nightgown and uggs. She peered into the window and said she saw a bunch of wranglers laying around the floor but no Phoebe and Duncs, she shimmied over to another window and started knocking on the window. She then told me that the poor dears where hogtied back to back to a mechanical bull, OH! dear...

Berna scaled back down the wall and nearly became intimate with parking meter, "good lord don't you ever wear panties"? I asked. Thankfully Berna's union buddies arrived and we let them know the situation. My poor friends were being held captive by a gaggle of Urban Cowboy misfits. I told them to run to the hardware store for some rope and duct tape.

Luckily, this wasn't my first time at the Rodeo.

We slid into the building and made our way to the loft. I knocked on the door and we charged in. Wrong apartment, it was Ashley Olson's place, she was wearing Hobo wear not western wear. I explained what had happened and she was nice enough and lent me a safari hat and large sunglasses. Up to the next floor we went, knocked and this time charged into a hoe down. Berna rolled across the floor and knocked those stylists down like bowling pins and I lassoed about 15 of them in one try.

Berna kept rolling knocking down the door and up against the wall and she accidentally hit the mechanical bull switch. Phoebe and duncs were being tossed around like a salad. There was one more stylist trying to block the door and she threw a spur at me but I ducked it and Ashley Olson knocked her down so I could tie her up.

I managed to turn off the bull and free Phoebe and Duncs and called the po po. It was all a little bit to easy... good thing I've watched 9 to 5 so many times...I guess i'm officially a wrangler now.

We took Phoebe and Duncs back to our place and gave them tea and anything British I could find. I didn't let them out of my sight the rest of the trip, though I could never explain the reasoning to them behind why Americans take their theme parties so seriously...

The mysterious case of Phoebe and Duncs...

Kisses, MargOH!

No Turkey for MargOH!

2009-11-30T04:15:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,
Now I'm not usually one to complain but turkey day was a bit…tragic. Not that many of my Thanksgivings have been pure joy...but turkey day 2009 will go down in history as a mad mad day!

You have to understand that since I moved to Brooklyn it has become a little crowded. Just because I have 2 bedrooms, my extended family thinks that means they can crash whenever they like.

I mean I already have my mother Sully, well should I say my first mother, she's actually not my mother after all but she's been around so long I call her Mommy too –or rather Mommy 2. Then there is my real mother, Mommy Trudie, who I originally thought was my Aunt Trudie and who I believed dead but really was alive. She shares a room with Mommy 2.

I also have my Aunt Fawn "tastic" Channing coming and going and crashing (sometimes literally – more on that later) on the couch. Then there is my daughter Stoli, well she isn’t actually my daughter (that's a whole other mess of a story) but for some reason she keeps showing up, poor thing. And lastly, no news to the regular followers of my life, I am forced to bear the cross of my wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge occupying the walk in closet, stretching out my hosiery to store her disturbing collection of knick knacks and bric-a-brac. My own little Flower in the Attic. Of Course my gay fiance Man-ee Champagne is fluttering around cleaning up and doing mash ups of Dusty Springfield and Lady Gaga, now doesn't that just sing thanksgiving boys and girls..

Are you with me kids? This was the base Thanksgiving dinner guest list. My Aunt Fawn, Sully/Mommy 2, my Aunt Trudie/Mommy Trudie, my wardrobe mistress Berna, Man-ee the gay fiance and my ex-daughter Stoli.

And because obviously I am sadistic, I also invited some pals - actress Polly Holiday, you know "Kiss my grits!" from Alice, my former neighbor actress Linda Hunt, Mickey and Jan Rooney and Mickey's new BFF, Justin Beiber and his mother. Truth be told it was Stoli who invited Justin, its her new crush and she somehow managed to get a job as his personal assistant. Such a resourceful girl that one!

Any who, I wanted to order up everything from Fresh Direct but Sully insisted on cooking from scratch. “Not to worry” she said “Trudie and I will take care of everything!”

I grabbed my mimosa and headed to the boudoir to do my face. All of a sudden I hear all of these gunshots and thuds against the house. I ran to the window and saw 3 ducks on the ground, ducks in Brooklyn?! Then I ran into the living room and Sully's standing there, shotgun resting on her leg and triumphantly cackles "We're having turducken!".

I tell her she's out of her mind. I remember screaming out that I was a member of PETA and that turducken was out of the question when Trudie follows in with a live turkey. "Oh god" I howled "Give me that poor Turkey! If we have turkey it should be frozen” and he gobbled in such a forlorn fashion to that statement that I had to add “No! forget it. We'll have fish!”

I sent Stoli off to the store for some salmon and I took the turkey, which I named Tex, into my boudoir. Luckily I had some bird food left over from a nightmare relationship with a bird named Lucy.

I invited everyone over for cocktails at 2 and then dinner at 4. At 10 am Linda Hunt is knocking on the door! Well she knocked but Berna said no one was there – I’m afraid she's a bit short... well anyway she shimmied up the fire escape and scared the daylights outta me when she popped her head in the window whilst I was still getting ready so I sent her to the store to get cheese and crackers and a big pepperoni log.

Mickey and Jan came next, also early, Jan made the potatoes - some sort of casserole. Of course the potato's had a blow torched picture of Mickey and Judy on it and “Judy was my Sister” written on the bottom in paprika. Jan looked upset "I smell fish”, she said. I was so insulted I was about to slap her until she finished her thought “Are we having fish? No turkey??? I would have made a turkey!"

I told Jan that we were having fillet De salmon because I simply could not kill Tex nor the poor ducks. Polly Holiday had just walked in with more of them. "Hey ya'll is it raining ducks in Brooklyn?! Hot damn!"

Sully grabbed them and starting saying "I'm a damn good shot, c'mon Maggie let me cook em!".

"No way Mommy 2! Absolutely not! Stop waving those ducks around!”

By now my horribly behaved friends and family had me in a state – my poor delicate head was throbbing. Before I knew what hit me (probably my third vodka and tonic) I screamed out “Polly get to it and set the table, use that Alice experience and make it pretty. Jan get to work on those crescent rolls! And Mickey for god’s sake put a lid on it! I'm having a drink!".

Already I was exhausted when my Aunt Fawn arrived with her figure skating coach Dixie. But at least she brought some good news for the day – she decided to enter the over-70's nationals rather than her original goal of competing at senior nationals though I must say she can still do a hell of a double axle and triple toe loop at 73. She brought her music and started showing everyone her routine to 'Fire bird" until she tripped over poor Linda and landed right on Tex.

Jan jumped up, "Guess we are having turkey, I'll pluck it, stuff it and cook it"
I dropped to the sofa and threw my hands up and yelled "No Turkey for MargOH!". That's when Justin arrived and I said "but i wouldn't mind a little chicken"....Gotta love the holidays...
kisses,
MargOH!

Happy Holidays

2009-11-29T08:41:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I've been a horrible blogger but times have been tough. As you know I lost my beloved pooch Kim fung and it sent me into a minor and sometimes major depression but I know you gotta shake the old dust off and live on or in my case drink on...

Thats what I plan to do and kids I've got a lot of stuff coming up, new show, performances for my darlings of Sugar shack Burlesque and the fabulous Incredible Edible Akynos. MargOH! will also be blogging again on a weekly basis to get the old thoughts out for the new show "What makes a legend drink more" and kids this show is going to be a tour de MargOH!, singing, dancing, joking and tragedy...well it wouldn't be MargoH! without a little tragedy...

I'll be back tomorrow to update you on my thanksgiving crazy. Berna, my wardrobe mistress was up to no good and she nearly ruined the old bird...

Til tomorrow kids!!

XOXO, MargOH!

Fun at the US Open

2009-09-10T18:51:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I'm a huge tennis fan! Yes, a tennis fan and I even like to play, I love the way my tennis skirt ripples in the wind and makes me keep up on my bikini wax.

Any who, the other night we went to See Raaaffaaaa play and it was a celebrity fuck fest. I always dish out a little to Tony Bennett to sit in his box and honey I ain't talking about money...

Tony is a gem and he's still got it! Well about half way through the match the camera flashed on Michael Phelps and i had to say hi so I excused myself from Tony's box and made a quick step over to Michael's suite.

Well, I stopped for a Coney Island Foot long with Kraut, a girls gotta eat!

I knocked on the door and to my surprise he opened the door and opened his arms with Glee..."Auntie MargOH! I didn't know you'd be here, let's party, wanna smoke?" Michael said.

You see Michael's mother and I Debbie Sue go back a long time, she keeps this quiet but we did a few films together of the adult nature, I think they were called "Do you know the way to San Pusse' 1 and 2 or something...

They were only sold in Mexico...

I pushed my way in and couldn't believe my eyes, girls half naked, I was for sure he swung the other way..

Whatever the case there wasn't much tennis watching going on so I grabbed a drink and told Michael to keep it down about the weed so we could have it for ourselves.

We popped into his limo and smoked a little, it was good stuff!

Then things started getting crazy, he started rubbing my leg and telling me he always wanted Auntie MargOH!

Then he switched on "Buttons" by Pussycat Dolls and started undressing.

I tried to stop him but then I started feeling the effects of the weed and thought, Oh, what the hell, lets see what he's got!

Kids, what he's lacking for looks he makes up for down town, but then the vision of Debbie Sue taking it in both ends popped into my head and I snapped out of it and pushed him away and said "Auntie MargOH! don't play that".

I told him with a cock like that he should find a nice boy. I buttoned up my blouse and started getting out when he said "Auntie MargOH! I love you". I replied, "I Love you to,do you have $100 bucks?", I need a souvenir signature US open drink and they ain't cheap" and the doll handed me a few hundred...

The other part of this story is who I went with and that was with my wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge. I heard from Tony later that she went up to the ESPN booth and started hassling poor Pam Shriver.

I guess they got into quite a brawl. Berna told me when she got home the next day that she spent the night in hospital. She said she barked up the wrong tree or should I say amazon. Pam is about 6'3 and towered over poor Berna who is only 5'11 and 3 bucks...

I guess Pam punched her and sent her tumbling down onto a group of children with big autograph balls, thank goodness...

Don't go messing with Pam Shriver Kids...Tennis can be dangerous!!!

XO, MargOH!

Me and Teddy

2009-08-27T07:17:00.001-07:00

Hey Kids,

It's been too long since my last confession and I promise to start the blog up again. I've been so busy with the premieres of "Taking Woodstock" in which I played Hippie Chick # 66. We had such a blast making the movie and what a coincidence that myself and the gang moved to Brooklyn and now live in the same building as Pippa Pearthree who has a role in the film. She is lovely!

Anyway, the reason why I had to blog today was because of the death of Ted Kennedy. He will be missed by his supporters, Washington, family and Haxton's liquor store. I will miss the big bear as well and with fond memories of the night we spent together.

It was 1977 and I was a young girl trying to make it in the biz and I had auditioned for a role in the touring company of "A Chorus Line". They gave me a shot and was sent to Boston to give it a whirl. It was exhilarating, my first show! When I arrived at the theatre and put on my costume it was a bit snug (they thought i was a size 2 but I was actually a size 12). I managed to squeeze into it after throwing up six times and then it was show time! When I got in line, the music swelled and so did my ankle (they thought i was a size 6 shoe but i was a size 13). I think I lied a little during my audition, well I really didn't audition, I slept with one of the producers, a girls gotta do what she's gotta do...

I got out on that stage and starting doing those kicks and hit the floor so hard I knocked myself out. My debut was over faster than the producer who did me in his limo..what a tragedy.

So I left the theatre and did what any gal would do...got drunk! I stopped in a bar called Charlie's and was doing boiler makers when all of a sudden a dozen men in suits all piled in and surrounded me at the bar. Then I heard from behind me a man whisper in my ear, "Hiya toots, can I buy you a drink?"

Well of course I said yes and then I swung around in the stool and before my eyes was one of the biggest faces I'd ever seen! A Kennedy! Ted Kennedy. Listen, the Kennedy's may be American royalty but you have to admit they do bear a slight resemblance to a pack of Clydesdales. But I digress...

Well of course he moved in on me quickly realizing I was a little tipsy and asked what a pretty dame like me was doing all alone. I dusted the beer nut droppings off my lap and they landed on his shoes and I said "Well I'm not here to crack nuts with a Kennedy". I went to grab his balls with my hand but he grabbed my wrist and pushed it away. I must admit his forcefulness made me hot but I kept my cool.

"A firecracker, that's the way i like em".

"Listen, Teddy I'm here to drown my sorrows, not find a man", I replied.

Then one of his suits whispered in his ear and they all chuckled a bit. "You are the gal who hit the floor in Chorus Line" Teddy said.

"My shoes were too small", I said then I looked at my watch and said, "Its only intermission, shouldn't you still be at the show?"

Teddy replied, "We left Joan there, theatre's not my thing. Why'd ya leave? That was the best part of the show!"

"Do you think Joan would approve of you coming on to a gorgeous young girl?", I said batting my eyelashes

"Why? Is there a gorgeous young girl here?" Teddy quipped.

My mouth opened in disbelief and then we both started laughing. "Joan's drunk again." and with a seductive whinny he added "Hey you gorgeous little thing, you wanna come back to my suite?"

My first thought was no thanks Mr. Ed but then i realized I couldn't show my face back at the casts' hotel so I thought, eh, I don't care. What a night! Boy am I glad I decided to ride that Lippizzaner home!

What happened next is between Teddy, myself and Joan, yes Joan. Let me just say this the carpet did not match the drapes in that suite...

Thanks for the memories Teddy!!

XO, MargOH!

Its raining, its Pouring

2009-07-14T06:03:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I gotta tell you that life lately has been a chore..My darling pooch Kim Fung had been battling mouth cancer and passed away last week. It has been a terrible loss for old MargOH! and MAN-ee is torn up as well. Kim Fung was more than just a plain old dog, she was colorful and smart as a whip. She could actually help old MargOH! put on her stockings or pull her to a pillow when she had a bit too much. Kim Fung also loved a bit of the drink, she loved champagne, luckily having four legs made it easier on the old girl to navigate around, she could hold her booze.

She also loved a Golden Retriever, she'd get all sassy and sly when any of those studs passed by...and even wrangled me a few flings with the owners..we were a team I guess and I'll miss her sense of adventure and whimsy. It wasn't all fun and games and Miss Fung had a temper and tore up a few of my costumes, she disliked Judy Garland and Liza minnelli music, she much preferred Jazz or something quiet.like a lovely Eartha Kitt... Her Favorite movie was "Chicken Run"...she just loved the clucking...

She was in two of my tv shows, she had great comic timing and took direction well, a real pro..Though trying to put make-up on her was a chore, she hated eye-liner but didn't shy away from a little concealer...

I loved that gal and she was my pal. I have a huge gap in my heart and mind at the moment. We haven't had the heart to move anything, her blanket still sits on the bed, her water/champers bowl still in its place, her collar and lead still waiting for a walk.

Life will never be the same, 14.5 years of love gone in an instant, Oh..but the memories...

Memories,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were

Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?

Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...

The way we were...
The way we were...

Coney Island Dreams

2009-06-15T05:32:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

When i was a little girl my mother told me that I would one day perform at the Coney Island Freak show....of course this was meant to be a way of being mean to me. Sully always told me I was a bit hairy for a girl of my age and was on my way to being a bearded lady...

Guess what kids, I will be performing at the Coney island Freakshow and museum next week..but of course it is not as a bearded lady but as a fish goddess....It's very exciting and when I told Sully, my now aunt and ex mother she said she told me so and added in to make sure I got a waxing as not to be too hairy...what a hag.

Kids if you are in NY and want to see MargOH! strut her fish...please come to Coney Island...

XO, MargOH!

Settled in

2009-06-03T05:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

It's been a wild time the past few weeks. First we were suppose to move to the bronx but once the landlord found out Berna was Union he turned us down. I even had my former aunt, now mother Trudie to flash him her tits but he wasn't going for it, I'm gonna get a lawyer for sure...

So we had to find a place quick and settled on a lovely flat in Brooklyn, a section called Carroll gardens. it has rooms for days and a closet for Berna, just perfect. It happens that and old friend of my ex mother, now aunt Sully's from Maine Mary Crabclaws owns the building. This is the first time in a while that sully has done me a favor the panned out....amazing. Though Sully did tell me she plans on heading back to Alaska for the summer to visit her friends at the Fishmongers retirement home. This just leaves me with Aunt Fawn and Trudie to house. Aunt Fawn just got back from her consulting gig for the Ice castles remake that I landed her and then she's returning to her job at Chelsea Piers sharpening skates.

Trudie keeps telling me that we should re-open MargOH!'s on delancy street. I don't know, running a business is so much work, especially a bar with a back room for lesbians. Though the lesbians these days are not as rough and tumble as back in the 60's it still would be a challenge.....but the nostalgia of it is keeping the idea in my thoughts. Who would have thought my former Aunt trudie, now mother, would come back into my life and bring back a flood of memories so dear and tragic.

Kisses, MargOH!

Berna's Back in town and Angie

2009-05-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

I was getting ready to go see Blithe Spirit last night and just as I was leaving Berna busted through the door with bags of smokey bacon crisps. She said she cleaned London out of them. Good for her...I guess. The house smells like a smokehouse though. When i got home Berna was on the floor in a smokey bacon crisp haze.

Any who, the show was so much fun and I went to see Angie Lansbury backstage along with Christine and Rupert afterwards. They are all so fun and Angie is just crazy, she swears like a sailor.I did a few extra roles on Murder she wrote and that's when I found out that Angie was like Fuck this and Fuck that but her favorite curse phrase is "screw you, pig fucker". She often said that while driving me home from the set, what a laugh.

last night Angie said she was a little aggravated by some old turds that were eating crackers and cheese in the front row. she said she wanted to Lupone their asses but she held her tongue because they were "oldsters". That's funny coming from her because she's 84 I think but you wouldn't know it. We ended up going for a freshener at "Molly's". Angie said, c'mon old girl lets go somewhere quiet so Molly's is always a good bet. We had 2 shots of bourbon each and a bottle of wine. I can't disclose much of our conversation because she was firing on all cylinders about everybody and not all good...but I think she said "Screw that pig fucker" 20 times.

If you have a chance go see Blithe Spirit, Angie steals the show, it's a fun show, very old school!!

XO, MargOH!

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?

2009-05-11T12:38:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I know there is that term "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade"! What a crock of shit, maybe i'd make a lemonade and vodka but that isn't that great.

In my life I've been handed plenty of Lemon's, like the three worst parents in history, and ungrateful sister, a horrible marraige, a short lived career as a Russ Myer girl, hot sex with Neil Sedaka (twice), a tragic wardrobe mistress, the list goes on and on. I've overcome a lot of these hardships and usually come out on top or at least drunk...

In the past few months though I have felt a shift to not quite making it through all the bullshit, a bit overwhelmed or should I say underwhelmed by my life or those around it. I think it is because MargOH! is too nice. MAN-ee, my gay fiance has said this in a few different ways to me and its starting to stick. I think I've come to expect too much from the american people.

I have plenty of friends around the world that are much more respectful of what is "MargOH!" and what "MargOH!" is...

Do I have to become a raging lunatic bitch in order to get what I want here in New York? I think I may and I hate that prospect. I've always tried my best to be nice to others who are involved in my ventures or future one's and all MargoH! gets is a big kick in the ass most of the time...or even worse nothing. There is nothing worse than putting your work or yourself out there for others to judge or embrace and getting no reaction at all.

Over the years I have worked with so many wonderful people and have had lots of fun. I've danced with heads of state and even given a few of them head but never have I been treated so poorly as I have of late by people I have reached out to with a kind word.

I'm sorry but if you send a note after meeting someone and say "it was so lovely to meet you and thank you for taking the time to chat", I don't care how famous you think you are, you could reply even with a thank you, goodness.

If you send out calls for submissions for anything and you recieve submissions, the submitter would expect to hear something back whether it is a positive or negative response but not here in New York.

I guess that is too much to expect?

The one thing my first mother Sully told me that made any sense was. "If someone tells you no, don't ask why, just do it and worry about it later".

I've been told no a lot in my life but I always do it anyway.......kind of like Fuck you and have a nice day.

If more people would say Yes then MargOH! would be making them lemonade but alas they'll get lemons.

Kisses, MargOH!

RuPaul's Drag race

2009-05-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

My mother Sully signed me up for Rupaul's Drag Race. She's always thought I was a man trapped in a woman's body...and that I wear too much make up....

Go vote for MargOH!

http://RuPaulCasting.com/people/margohchanning

Berna's a Shop lifter

2009-05-01T11:37:00.001-07:00

Hey Kids,

I could not believe it when I got a call this morning from Susan Boyle asking me
for money to bail Berna out of a London police station for petty theft and to ship her back to the US. She can't afford the bad publicity she says...

Isn't this rich? Berna takes off on me for the new big thing and gets caught stealing
a case of face hair removal cream for Ms. Boyle...Then I'm asked to clean up the mess. I knew berna had sticky fingers over the years but honestly stealing from a pound shop is a bit sad really.

I say let her sit in the slammer for a few days, don't ya think? Susan said she thought I was terrible for paying Berna $25 a week since 1968 and because of me she is forced to steal and hung up on me.

How did I become the bad person???? I told Susan that beyond the money I give Berna she eats and drinks a lot for free. I even paid for her gastric bypass surgery....what more does a wardrobe mistress and light duster expect...look at what happened to poor Liza after paying $250k a year to a chauffer, nothing but heartache...It's not like I ask Berna to have sex too...what a revolting thought...

You know when berna gets back she is getting a pay cut...that'll teach her...

Kisses, MargOH!

Ice castles and Susan Boyle

2009-04-24T10:42:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

I'm on my way to Idaho to shoot some scenes for the remake of "Ice castles". I'm playing Zamboni Lady #1, but I do have a line "Get the fuck off the ice you twat" but I think this is what makes the poor skater hit the ice and go blind, yikes. I don't think that was in the original film, they've updated the script.....I was in the first Ice Castles and played Party Gal # 6, funny that scene also was in the context of the skater hitting the ice and going blind, you can catch me admiring the ice sculpture and drinking champagne in the first one...This is a quick shoot and I'll be back in NY Sunday.

The next thing happening right now is that wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge has left me high and dry again. We are in the midst of packing to move and she announces that she is moving to the UK and that Susan Boyle has hired her as her assistant and style coach. I'm not sure how she wrangled up this gig but she told me Simon Cowell is flipping the bill to get her into shape for the competition. To tell you the truth I think Shirley Bassey got in Cowell's ear about Berna because of all the errands she'd do for Shirley when she was living next door. The truth is Berna doesn't do crap but drink and party with her friends, once in a while she'll iron my costumes or dust a bit. She says the $25 I pay her a week isn't fair but who's paying the rent for her big ass to do nothing...I don't think she gets it...

No worries because once Susan and Simon realize that she is a slacker they'll kick her out and poor Susan will still look a mess. If you saw the new pictures of Susan's hair and jacket, that was Berna. Berna said she told her to get a "LuLu" hairdo and woody Allen glasses....good lord!

You just can't find good help any day

XO, MargOH!

MargOH!s being held by Pirates

2009-04-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

So I come home today and Berna and Linda Hunt ambushed me as I came in the door. They are dressed in Johnny depp style pirate outfits. They have informed me that they are having a pirate themed party and are demanding cash from me. They broke into the liquor cabinet at noon and have gone through 2 bottles of rum and my Swedish schnapps...

They had me tied up for about 5 minutes because I gave em my money and said a pirate party it is. i haven't dragged out my peasant skirts and Stevie Nicks lace in years. I couldn't resist Linda, she looked so cute with the eye patch. Barna has invited all of her union buddies so i called Polly Holiday, Nellie Mckay, Jimmy Fallon but he said she was staying in to watch "Grey Gardens", what a mo....I also called Mary Tyler Moore to try and come down , she's in town promoting her book,but she said she didn't have any pirate wear but then said to call Valerie Harper because she was in town and always traveled with scarves and small knives, she's coming. The cast of "Rock of ages" is coming, Berna's been working that show as a stage hand, heavy metal and pirates just go together don't ya think....

It should be a fun little quick pirate party, gotta run and rent a parrot for the night....see ya at the party kids....

XO, M

Fun Moment

2009-04-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

This is a fun moment from Britain's Got Talent. Susan Boyle rips it to a stunned crowd, this is an inspirational video for sure....good for her!!

kisses, M

MargOH!'s on Twitter now

2009-04-11T11:57:00.002-07:00

Hey Kids,

MargOH! is now on Twitter. Check it out kids

XO, MargOH!

MargOH!

2009-04-11T11:57:00.001-07:00

Kicked out

2009-04-07T16:58:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

Can you believe poor little Wanda Lee was disqualified from the "Little Miss Perfect" pageant because her "Wow" number was too sexually charged....

It was a little hectic in between interview and we were rushing and she forgot to put her panties on and when she did that running split jump she gave everyone a smiley face...

I don't know what the big deal is...you seen one clam you've seen em all plus another girl did a dance routine to "Push it" with pull away balloon pants, now that is a real crime....

i guess my pageant coaching days are over already....well maybe i could coach someone in the Miss LES pageant, thats more my speed...

kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! in Hospital

2009-04-03T07:53:00.000-07:00

hey kids,

Well being a "Little Miss Perfect" pageant coach isn't as easy as I thought. I was showing Wanda my idea's for her dance number for "Wow" wear and i got carried away and did a running split jump. I did it all the time when I was showing my girls some erotic moves back in the day but I have to remember I'm 60 now and things crack a little easier.

I'm fine, I just bruised my inner thighs and pulled quite a few muscles, nothing a martini and a pain killer can't handle. The most important thing is that little Wanda can do the running split jump, she can really move for a chunky gal. We are almost done with all of her moves and the pageant is next week.

Florida is a strange place, they serve McDonald's in the hospital i'm staying in....
Goodness!!

kisses, MargOH!

Little Miss Perfect

2009-03-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

I don't know if any of you have been watching the show "Little Miss Perfect" , a reality show that follows those little girl pageants hosted by Michael Galanes. It is a train wreck....and he is the conductor, what a hoot he is.....check it out!

Anyway, the other day I got a call out of the blue from a childhood friend Lulu Babcock. She was "Little Miss Lobster Tail" the year before I won at the Maine Lobster fest..I'm still the reigning "Little Miss Lobster tail", they never had the pageant again after the mayor was caught grabbing the tails of many of the contestants including me but I had a nut cracker in my purse for the lobster claw cracking contest so I took care of things on my own..if you get my drift.

Well Lulu called me and told me that her granddaughter Wanda Lee Sissy Jean Plumpkin was entered into one of the "Little Miss Perfect" pageants in Florida. Poor Lulu has had a rough time of it and is living in a manufactured home in Orange Blossom Florida. She asked me if I'd consider coaching little Wanda Lee, she's 13 with double d's Lulu added and mentioned that they wanted to do a Dolly parton number for the "Wow" wear portion of the show and seeing how I ran a bordello in the past thought I'd be perfect to help Wanda with her "Best little whore house in Texas" number. I was a little hesitant at first but after she told me what she was willing to pay, I said yes. I'm packing and leaving tonight.

I feel a little weird still about the money thing, Lulu is paying me 3,000 plus expenses and when I asked her how much the girls got for winning she said 1,000....but she said its not about the money but getting Wanda Lee and her knockers some airtime on WeTV. She said her dream was for Wanda Lee to follow in the footsteps of Anna Nicole Smith.....

We all have to have a goal....

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH!'s movin

2009-03-23T06:26:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

Goodness, after a long search and a few sexual acts MargOH! and the gang are moving to a luxury building in the Bronx, yes the Bronx, a nice section of the Bronx. It has 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi tub...It actually also has 2 bathrooms so the Jacuzzi tub is all MargOH!'s. MargOH!'s Manhattan lifestyle has ended and I gotta tell you what a relief it is. My one bedroom just wasn't cutting it any longer and to be honest to see my wardrobe mistress Berna sleeping in the closet was a bit sad...the poor thing. Plus, don't forget my Aunt Fawn and my two moms have been with me Trudie and Sully...I know, I know and you are right my mother Sully has tried making a few bucks off the plane landing on the Hudson and granted 3 interviews but when she started talking about how she cut herself on a tuna can the gig was up..

Anyway we are moving in May and that'll be fun, of course our neighbor Linda Hunt has offered to help us so I'll make sure I save all the heavy lifting for her, she is really strong. She pinned me down after tried to take a sip of her margarita the other night at happy hour..

One good thing was that my Aunt Fawn got a job as a practice skater for 'Stars on ice" so she will be assisting Scott Hamilton in getting that Tara Lipinski back in shape...she been off the ice for a while and Fawn's large carriage instills fear in her subjects so she'll do fine, I mean her time spent in Minnesota teaching all those pregnant teens how to skate really payed off...

I have my two moms and her bunking all in the same room because I needed one room for my costumes and make-up. Berna will be in that room as well, oh dear it really is another closet for old Berna but it will have a bed in it.....

OK, kids gotta run to pick out drapes....

kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! gets back to her roots

2009-03-21T12:01:00.000-07:00

hey kids,

The past few weeks have been a blast and I performed in some great shows. I did a Golden Girls tribute show and a gender bending burlesque show "Hypergender Burlesque"
Here are some photo's from the shows..

kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! made the Village Voice

2009-02-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

Well it took me a while but after 27 years I've made the Village Voice again but this time for being a performer, not performing sexual acts on neil sedaka. I'm part of a show presented by Victoria "A Tribute to the Golden Girls 2". It has been chosen as a Voice Choice...

This is no small feat for an artist in this city especially a gal of 61...

I don't usually toot my own horn but what the hell..break out the booze!!

XO, MargOH!

Getting away

2009-02-12T06:34:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

MargOH! is getting out of dodge..The city has me in a slump, not to mention all the hags living in my house..They are driving me crazy!!

I booked Berna and I a spa weekend in Newport..I know, I know, newport in winter...but Mamma's on a budget, the work has dried up a bit but I have been booked for 2 live shows coming up and also 2 extra jobs in the spring...

Honestly, I was a little upset after going to see "He's just not that into you" because they cut my scene. I was in one of those scenes where the real people talk about relationships, my segment was "If your new girlfriend ends up being a guy". It was unscripted and I thought my observations were hilarious, like, "Its not that big of a deal, just hold onto the shaft when you are riding the caboose" and "Sometimes you can't have a cupcake and have to settle for hard candy". I called the director and he said my statements were a little harsh but he might put them into the dvd extra's. I of course think its a no brainer, I was talking about gals that have that little something extra...

Well, I'm off. Berna is picking up the rental as we speak, I know, I know. I had to let my car service go, it's sad but like Sully said and no i'm not talking about Sully who landed in the hudson to get a book deal, I'm talking about my mother Sully who said sometimes you have to pass the shrimp cocktail and get canned salmon for a while....

XO, MargOH!

Doing time on east 23rd street

2009-01-30T09:49:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

Where do I begin...I'm going crazy with my living arrangement and fear I may have to move to the suburbs. I need more space before I kill one of my family members.

Though things have gotten a little easier because I got my ex-mother Sully who is now my Aunt, My mother Trudie and my Aunt Fawn Jobs on rotating shifts. Sully got a job at the fish market across the street and works 10-7. Trudie got a bartending job at McSwiggans working 3-11 and sometimes til 4am depending on how she is feeling and Aunt Fawn is working at chelsea peirs sharpening skates from 11-7. Linda hunt thought it was cruel that I made them all get jobs seeing their ages average 74 but please, oh boo hoo I said.

If they want to live in the big city they have to act like big girls not shriveled up versions of what they used to be. Please , Sully looks younger than me and since she started working she is back to buying and wearing mini skirts from american apparel. Aunt Fawn, has the legs of a young dancer and just strted taking hip hop dance lessons...you get my point...

So I've been having some down time but can't have any men over, if you know what i mean and I'm horny....

I started looking at houses in Yonkers....Oh dear!!

Help!!!

XO, MargOH!

Writing in the New Year

2009-01-03T10:09:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I'm going to write 3 shows this year. That is my goal anyway. I also want to do a charity show for chrsitmas this year and get some big names involved, that would be fun.."A very MargOH! Christmas".

I'm also going to write one for MAN-ee and me...Oh by the way MAN-ee had to move in next door with Linda Hunt due to all of the people staying here. Linda was so kind to take him in, she is just making him do light dusting instead of paying rent...what a good gay he is. The show I'm writing for us is called "Dazzling Duets". The other show is called "For the love of Judy", an autobiographical romp. and then I want to do another burlesque show with country music and a big opening number..

i gotta get writing!!

XO, MargOH!

Starting Over

2009-01-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I'm back but where do I begin? Who know's???? You all know so much about how crazy I am and the story gets more crazy everyday..

OK, I'll cut to the chase without going into all the details.

I found out that one, my Aunt Trudie is alive and two she is my real mother....

So now I have my ex- mother Sully, my wardrobe mistress Berna , my aunt Fawn and my new mother previously Aunt Trudie living with me at the moment. We're living our own version of the Golden Girls, less the comedy....Just to give you an idea, I live in a one bedroom apartment so there are now 3 single beds in said bedroom and Berna in the closet under the loft area...she already is seperated from her union buddy and back giving me headaches.

The only good thing is that I've been working a lot so I've been away from time to time. I did 3 movies in three months, one is a Tv film about the rise and fall of Richard simmons, I play fat lady # 6 and had to recreate a sweatin to the oldies segment....jack black is playing Richard, he was doing a good job..I'm not sure what the title is but should be in theatre's in late 2009. Jack and I hit it off and he even gave me the wig he wore...how sweet and I got invited to his new years party, that will be next post, my mom Trudie became the life of the party but really offended Cameran Diaz, poor thing.....

Anyway, my aunt trudie had me and ran off to NY because she was a lesbian and her brother Salty took me in, who I thought was my father but he's not. My father was some irish sailor that Trudie had a one night stand with trying to figure out if she liked girls or not. I was a bit miffed to find all this out but afterall Trudie was the one who took me in at 12 when I ran away, I thought she was my Aunt...There is more to this story but I'll post that later as well.

I just wanted to get started again! Happy New year Kids!!

Kisses, MargOH!

Oh! where Have I been?

2008-12-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

Many years ago I started this blog to discuss my life and all of my crazy
goings on. I've had an interesting life so I wanted to share it with you all.

Honestly, I got bored for a while, plus I've been working both as an extra and doing live shows as of late that I haven't had the time to dedicate to the blog. I was thinking of hiring a ghost writer but that wouldn't be fair to you all..

I have had so much fun talking and communicating with you all over the years and I have made so many friends from this blog that I feel I owe it to you and myself to continue it.

Yes, that's right! I will continue this blog starting on January 2, 2009. I'll need a day to recover from New Years Eve thats for sure....

I will pick up where I left off as to not leave you hanging like those british shows..LOL....

Kids, I love you all and I'll be back in the new year to fill you in on my life, the good, the bad and the ugly...

kisses,

MargOH!

Just don't know what to do

2008-10-24T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I know I stopped posting on my little blog. Things had gotten so hectic with show's and extra jobs that I lost track of my life..LOL. There is much to tell and I know I Left you all hanging about my Aunt Trudie and of course I didn't get to tell you about Aunt Fawn's little affair with a world class figure skater...

I'm going to re-tool a bit and be back to keep you updated on everything, Oh yes and Berna ,my wardrobe mistress was fired from the letterman show so she's around more...not really sure if I'm liking it..too many people ruffling my feathers.

I do love all of you and feel I owe it to you to keep you in the loop on MargoH!

Kisses, m

Photo's from Mamma MargOH!'s Burlesque Revue

2008-10-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

We had another great show and everyone just adored our crazy antics..

Here is a pic of all of the cast including Nellie McKay who did a gorgoeus rendition
of "If I had You" on her Uke.

MAN-ee Champagne was also fabulous with his "Natural Woman" boylesque number.

Fun was had by all , Now I'm working on booking a show in London for January, all of my UK peeps have been so supportive and helpful and encouraging about bring London a little of MargOH! or maybe a lot..very exciting!!

I'm also performing at the "Gay life expo" November 16th, that'll be fun

Kisses, MargOH!

Mamma MargOH!'s All Soul Burlesque Revue

2008-10-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

You can now buy your tickets on line for "Mamma MargOH!'s All Soul Burlesque Revue"

Pre-Sale Tickets are no longer available at discount rate. We'll have a lovely doorman selling tickets at the door tonight!!

See Ya at the party kids

Save the Date "Mamma MargOH!'s All Soul Burlesque Revue"

2008-08-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I know, I know , i left you hanging but I'll finish my post ASAP but getting to know my Aunt Trudie Again has been keeping me busy.

Also I'm doing my burlesque show October 16 @ Don Hills 9PM. More info to follow...but we have a mother of a line up with RunAround Sue, Della Dare, Akynos and MAN-ee Champagne...plus more surprises...

Kisses, m

Coming Home Again

2008-08-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

Wow, this has really been a wild month and my emotions are really raw....I've been drinking my tears rather than champagne as of late. I found something out this week that has changed my life forever but then not really. I just don't know....so I'll tell you..

Well , kids, you all know that I've been on the hunt for my Aunt Trudie and hired a very crafty team of PI's to search for (Blatton, Blatton and Blatton). They are fantastic, some of the smartest people I've ever met and that dog of Theirs Nobby is just an amazing dog. In one of my last posts I explained that we were just getting to the south of France, which is just gorgeous, but as soon as we got there we learned that Urilla (Aunt Trudie) had made her way to a place called "The Villages" , a 55+ community in Florida...ugh..

Jane Blatton introduced me to a man that had been in business with Aunt Trudie named Jacques Banquette and that they had been an item at one time. This was all so strange because the aunt Trudie I know was a dyke to the highest order... He also told us that Urilla had no memory of her life before 1969....Aunt Trudie had Amnesia???? He also showed us several pictures of a girl that ranged from when she was an infant up until 16 years old, that girl was me
and scribbled on the back of the pictures was the Phrase "My daughter, Haddock" and the year...of course you all know my real name is Haddock, anyway Jacques went on to explain that Urilla (Aunt Trudie) said that the girl in the picture was her daughter and she was sure of that, but she could not remember where she had come from and had no way of contacting her.

At this point I knew Aunt Trudie(Urilla) really had Amnesia because I'm not her daughter. It was sweet that she had all those pictures of me and honestly she seemed more like a mother to me than my own Sully...Jacques supplied us with Aunt Trudie's address after I showed him my boobs, don't ask... and I said goodbye to the Blatton's of Blatton, Blatton and Blatton because their job was done. They cost me a pretty penny so MargOH's gonna have cut Berna's pay again...but they were worth it!

On to Florida I went with Berna in tow, I called Sully to give her an update and she flipped out. She told me to get my ass back to NY and that I had been scammed by these "Blatton's". She said that Aunt Trudie was dead and that was that and that all this was too easy too be true. I of course told her to screw and she then demanded i buy her a ticket to Florida for her and my Aunt Fawn....I did. So we all met at the airport and got in a limo to "The Villages". I'd never seen Sully look so weird, she was nervous and white as a ghost and Aunt Fawn was feeding her cod liver oil pills like candy, she stunk...On the way I told them that it seemed Aunt Trudie had no memory of her life before 1969, only after and Sully yelled out "Thank you , jack Daniel's" and her teeth flew out of her mouth and hit the driver...poor thing.

I couldn't understand why she was so happy about that....I spent an hour in the car with Sully, Berna and Aunt Fawn and god was it hot...when we arrived at the gate they asked who were we there to see and I said Urilla Wilson and they looked shocked and walked into the booth and picked up the phone, Sully seemed to be getting nervous again as the gates to this "Pleasant ville" like place opened.

As we pulled up to the address I saw a woman come running towards us with a baseball bat, screaming, I'm not going back, I'm not going back...........I rolled down the window and yelled out "Aunt Trudie", the woman stopped dead in her tracks and said "Aunt Trudie, who in the hell is that? I'm Urilla and i'm not going back to that hospital". Then she ran to the back of the limo.

I yelled out that we weren't from any hospital and that I was her niece, then Aunt Fawn giggled and Sully kicked her in the knee. I told her to put the bat down or I'd knock her over the head with the bottle of Jack Sully had in her bag. I got out of the car and through the darkness i could see Aunt Trudie's face change and she almost had a look of recognition. Then she dropped the bat and yelled "Oh my pussy lickin stars, it's my baby girl" and she ran over and hugged me. I didn't know what to do....

Kids, I'm getting a little emotional and need a bit of a rest. Didn't mean to leave you with this "Dynasty" Cliff hanger but I need a drink....Sully hand me that Jack

Kisses, MargOH!

I'm back

2008-08-17T11:38:00.001-07:00

hey Kids,

Sorry for the delay in posting but the past week has been crazy and I have so much to type....I am working on a huge post...This update will be as big as Madonna's brothers revelations in his new book, I mean who knew Madonna was self centered and a major bitch!!....I'm Shocked...aren't you???

Anyway kids I'll be back as soon as i can type this damn post and drink 2 glasses of champagne at the same time. i think I would have mastered that by now...LOL

Kisses, M

On Trudie's Tail

2008-08-06T07:21:00.001-07:00

Hey Kids,

I'm already off to France after a short stay in London and meeting the Blattons of Blatton, Blatton and Blatton and their pooch Nobby. When I arrived they had a stack of papers to sift through and a picture they found on the beach in France. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it...it was me as a little girl gutting a cod fish....Oh! how it did bring back memories of my days as "The Fish Mongers Daughter". A tear fell from my eye but then I was snapped out of it when they showed another pic of my mother Sully and Trudie together. This was odd because they hated each other so I thought but in the pic they were klinking beer steins together and shucking oysters with cigarettes dangling out of their mouths...very Americana...

Anyway, the lead Blatton told me that we needed to go to France right away because Trudie or what she goes by now Urilla was spotted eating at a cafe on the riviera by a Blatton private eye on location. We immediately booked flights, though I took the time to sample a gluten free fish and chips the other Blatton made for me, yum , it was delicious, a girls gotta eat!! doesn't she. I of course still aren't quite sure what the Blatton's first names are but I'm wondering if they are the same as the name tags they wear while running the fish shop... Jane, Wandanita and Pablo...I doubt it, they look very British, I think it's just a cover and whenever I call out to Wandanita she squints her eyes at me....

We should be landing in a few minutes. Oh, dear i just realized we left Bianca behind...yikes, she's so small...i must have left her at the fish shop...Let me call her...goodness!!!

Kisses, MargOH!

We're off to see the Blattons

2008-08-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

We're leaving Barcelona today and what a ball i had. Making this film was fun and this being the first film I have lines in since 1969 is just wonderful. Gael was so sweet and we really had a grand time. i didn't get to spend too much time with him but he did have to take his shirt off while visiting me at my flat after I accidentally spilt wine on his shirt...yummy, even Bianca was hot for it, he's so sexy....Hopefully they won't cut my scenes but I gave the director and editor bottles of champagne and an autograph picture....

So on to more exciting news. The Blattons are hot on the trail of my Aunt Trudie. They know that Trudie is no longer using that name and goes by Urilla Wilson....mmmm very strange. They know that she is somewhere in the south of France. They also know that at one time she owned a bait and tackle shop and that sounds like old Trudie, keeping the family tradition of living off the fish....

I'm very excited to meet the Blattons. i do not know their first names yet but only they have a dag named Nobby that led them to the beach were Aunt Trudie's picture was taken after I supplied them with a pair of knickers of hers i kept but never washed...They said the dog almost passed out from Aunt Trudie's scent but quickly recovered and dashed for the beach. They also found a picture of a baby in that spot on the beach so they need me to verify who it may be...

I sent Berna home, she was getting on my nerves and wouldn't you know it with all the red wine and sangria i was drinking I've come down with "The Gout" again so MargOH! sucking on cherries and drinking Black Cherry juice cocktails. I've taken Bianca with me instead and I'm resting my foot on her now.

Okay kids, we're just taking off and Bianca has that "Mile High Club" look in her eye again.....but this flight is short so I better get on it...literally...I'll let you know whats going on in London...

Kisses, MargOH!

The Plane, The Plane

2008-07-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

The film shoot is running over...I'm still in Barcelona, not that I'm complaining, it's lovely.

I have a little time to tell you about my plane ride over...I joined the mile high club....I know, I know....I'm sure you all would think I'd done that before but I actually hadn't....

Of course I was flown over first class but thankfully Berna was in coach so I had time to relax and have a few drinkies..Well i sat across from a lovely named Bianca "Ra Ra" Benitez. She is actually a Spanish wrestler but she is a little person. i guess she had been over doing a stint for the wwf or something. She is very sexy and kind of looks like Penelope Cruz but with a large head and little legs...She also had a huge rack on her...implants i suspect..

Anyway, she was hot to trot for me as soon as I sat down. She was a bit aggressive and started demanding that the steward get me a drink right away...then she leaned over and said, "I wanna get you drunk toots" and smiled... I said " I already am" and smiled.

Bianca then leaned in and said "I know who you are". I said " I doubt it" and took off my sunglasses. she replied in a sexy Spanish accent "No, I know, you're Alaina Capri". I couldn't believe it...no one had said that to me in years, I was a bit shocked, my years as a Russ Meyer girl are just distant memories and I rarely think of it.

Russ and I had made a pact after he let me go that we'd never speak again, he made up a fake story about my life and I started out fresh, with a clean slate..Alaina never to be heard of again. Alaina is just folk lore to me really. It wasn't until after his death in 2004 that I let it out of the bag again.

I responded "Well Bianca, you must like the movies to know that....it's been years since anyone recognized me as Alaina". Bianca, replied "No, I like tits and you have the best in the business" I laughed and responded " Not anymore darling, I had a reduction, that's why Russ canned me, I threw out my back, I had no choice", then she pressed her hand to my lips and with her other hand cupped my breast, and said "Sure feels good to me"....Then she yelled to the steward.."where's the ladies drink, she's a legend".

Then we took off in more than one way...she grabbed my hand and rushed me into the bathroom and proceeded to do things I'd never even imagined. I won't go into too much detail but lets just say she had the biggest tongue I'd ever seen and boy could she use it...She really made this legend quiver....yawza!

Oh, gotta run Bianca and I are going out dancing tonight, she is bringing her friend to keep Berna occupied. I may try it again, you know lady love....Bianca is so cute and I like the way she treats me..like the star that I am. I sometimes forget how a legend should be treated and rarely expect special treatment but for once I feel the time is right, the film, embracing my inner Alaina and having an adoring little person after me is just so hot....

Kisses, MargOH!

Estelle Getty- One Funny Lady

2008-07-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I was just surfing the net after a long day of shooting. Sitting here in my old lady make-up and Berna out partying with one of the lovely spanish maids we have....I'm having a lovely Sangria and I must raise it to Estelle Getty who just passed away.

She is one of the first ladies of American Comedy..right up there with Lucille Ball I believe. I have always preferred female comedic dames over the men...Golden Girls was a fabulous show and a show I still watch religously. I never get tired of it because of the women who made it such a great all around show but to me Sophia was the best, Estelle's comic timing was perfect and the way she embodied that character was amazing. She left us with a fabulous body of work and I will keep enjoying it!!

Estelle is also a role model for grit and determination. She never gave up on her dream of being an actress and struggled for years to make it. She was in her early
60's when she landed the role in Golden Girls and became an international celebrity....wow...

Here's to you Estelle for all the Laughs

Kisses, MargOH!

Working hard, feeling old

2008-07-21T06:51:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

Well I started shooting my scenes here in Barcelona. Gael Garcia Bernal is just a dream and we've been having so much fun. The only thing is that I play the part of a old Spanish peasant woman. I was shocked by the amount of time in the make-up chair, 6 hours, Now I know what Robin Williams went through in Mrs. Doubtfire, really. I decided to keep it on until wednesday when my scenes should be completed. I'm just amazed at the amount of lines I've been given and I feel so fortunate to have met gael at the fundraiser a few years ago. He said he would get me a role and wow he really came through. Now if I could just get him to take another kind of roll with me, I'd be thrilled but in this get up, I doubt it! I wonder what Penelope Cruz would do?

Berna and I have the flat through the weekend so at least I'll have a few days to find myself a young spanish lover.... I did have a little fun on the plane on the way over but that was with a young spanish gal....You know I'm Bi but very rarely take part in love with the ladies....not that I wouldn't like it more, it's just that i'm much more picky when it comes to the ladies I do the nasty with unlike the men.....I mean really men are men but women are more of a challenge, are the boobs perky or saggy, does she bikini wax or not, does she wear rose water or white diamonds...you get my drift. Anywho I'm off to the set....I'm posting a pic of me in make-up, you won't believe the transformation...

Kisses, MargOH!

Barcelona at last

2008-07-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I just landed in Spain, it's so fabulous....I just love old things and Barcelona just has that feeling of old, the architecture, the warmth, the men.....young or old Spanish men just are so sexy.....I'm staying in a lovely flat overlooking a market, very busy and a wine shop, thank goodness. Berna is here with me, I got to bring along a plus one for the shoot. I wanted to bring Linda Hunt but she's tending to Candice Bergan after her third tummy tuck...poor thing, big as a house... I have a few days just to hang out before the filming so we're gonna paint the town red or at least get hammered and find myself a young spanish lover...

I'm posting a picture from my balcony...so you can see what I see. I'll be back later to tell you about the plane ride....it was very interesting....

Kisses, M

Aunt Trudie is Alive?

2008-07-09T16:12:00.001-07:00

Hey Kids,

It has been confirmed by my mother Sully (who just arrived from Kentucky to hopefully talk my Aunt Fawn to move back to Minnesota, god I've got a lotta aunts), that the woman in the picture basking in the sun and touching up her lipstick on the french riviera is my Aunt Trudie presumed dead in 1968 by drowning in the east river...

I found this picture by accident on the photo site flickr. I was stunned when it popped up, i contacted the photo taker and she told me she took a random photo on the riviera of France, my word..... You see I've longed for my Aunt Trudie, it was her that took me in as a young girl in search of the dream to become an actress. She took me under her wing, though more as her worker bee at her pub MargOH!'s on delancy street on the lower east side of Manhattan. It was actually Aunt Trudie who came up with my stage name and the bar was also where I was discovered by Russ Meyer.

After I'd moved to LA I got a telegram 6 months later that Aunt Trudie had a night of it with the gals at the pub and went skinny dipping in the east river and never came out. It was one of the saddest moments of my life. I also found out that day that she left me the pub. I wasn't shocked but at the time I was just getting started as a Russ Meyer girl, shooting films, attending Hollywood parties. I couldn't possibly go back to NY and run a run down pub with a backroom for lesbian's. That was Aunt Trudie's love, not mine, so I sold it and went on with my life.

Looking back now I regret the decision and wish I had gone back because in just a short few months Russ would dump me after just two films and a stick me with a pain in the ass wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge.....

Anyway, that's not important, it's finding Aunt Trudie that is what I need to focus on and I am. I immediately called Nicky Knockers to do a little PI job for me but she was too busy doing her 5,000Th porn film called "Nicky Knocker's does Broadway". She said she was rehearsing by doing the whole cast of "Spamalot"...but Clay Aiken had been giving her the runaround.....mmmm I wonder why?

So I decided I should hire someone in Europe anyway so I did some research and found a PI that is very secret and the business runs under cover of a Fish and Chip shop on
Old Compton Street in London.....I thought it fitting that they run a Fish and Chip/PI Shop......It's called Blatton, Blatton and Blatton. I've only spoken to one of the Blatton's which shall remain nameless on the blog as to not blow the cover of the business. The Blatton, Blatton and Blatton agency has assured me that they will find my Aunt Trudie and are on there way to the French Riviera as I type.

It is very exciting, well for me, my mother Sully never liked Aunt Trudie. She said "Whatta ya want to find that old dyke for? I bet she still doesn't shave her pits." Sully is just jealous because she knows i like Aunt Trudie better than her... Well I mean neither of them are perfect but at least Aunt Trudie didn't make me swab the floors with a toothbrush like sully, she bought me a mop....

Kids I'll keep you updated on this very exciting time. I'm off to Spain to shoot a film , then I'm off to meet the Blatton's of Blatton, Blatton and Blatton to provide additional information about my beloved Aunt Trudie....

Kisses, MargOH!

Well I never

2008-07-09T05:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I must say i'm a bit down in the dumps after my show...just because It is so much work putting these one nighters together, bang you do it and then it's over..somewhat like sex I guess but at least you can recharge for sex quite easily..Recharging at 60 for another show is another thing...

For the first time I actually feel old. I've actually cut back on my champers and martini's..well i never thought I'd see the day but what's a gal to do...get to work...of course. Shecky, my agent lined me up 3 voiceover commercial's, local cable crap but I'll take what I can get. My Aunt Fawn is draining me dry , i think she's stealing from me for her skating lessons, I gotta get her back to the midwest and if i have to see her do her routine to "Firebird" one more time,...I'll scream. Sully said she was coming two weeks ago to fetch her but she hasn't shown up, she called from a truckstop in nashville telling em she got a short order cook's job to make some traveling cash after they kicked her off the freight train....then she said something about hanging out with Faith Hill....oh dear....

I also go to Spain for my bit part in the film with Gael Garcia Bernal. I actually have a few lines that'll probably get cut just like "Sex in the city"...arggggh do you know how many takes and times I had to say "Would you like nuts on it" as shake shack girl # 6 to Charlotte, that was an alternate take to the restaurant scene where her water breaks in front of Mr. big.....I liked my scene better, bastards....

Well I never...catch a break....

Kisses, MargOH!

One Big Jackass Dies

2008-07-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

Though I try not to get too political on my blog but now that I've been counceling
Hillary after her defeat I must talk....

How fitting that Barack Obama comes out after he is elected that he will expand
the faith based initiatives Bush started.....is that change...I don't think so. I believe in the separation of church and state....I guess he doesn't....aaargh!

Also How fitting that one of the biggest jackasses to have ever lived kicked the same day as Bozo the clown. Jesse helms is dead!!!! I'm not usually one to say bad things about the deceased but this jackass will not be missed. I'll have to have a very long stiff dirty martini tonight as I enjoy art, music and culture, something that jackass didn't like........

Hope you have a nice ride Jesse......

I don't understand how a racist gets to be called a patriot....MargOH! just doesn't get it....

Kisses, MargOH!

Check out my friends blog

2008-07-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

Check out my darling friend BT's website. It's about being Fat and gay...You
know i love the fatties...Check it out!

Kisses, M

MargOH! sings Sex Machine

2008-06-29T11:57:00.001-07:00

Pics from Burlesque Show

2008-06-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

Here are a few Pics from burlesque show!

Berna gets Angry

2008-06-27T06:38:00.000-07:00

hey Kids,

Well my show was a smash success. I'll be posting pics and video's on youtube in the coming weeks. The band was excellent and a special thanks to the Dirty boogaloo, my daddy snuggs, Skinny Tallz and darryl!!

MargOH! really felt like a rock star in the making. I'm no longer afraid to belt it out for the masses and will continue to explore my vocal prowess... The dancers were all wonderful! Legs Malone, La john Joseph, Incedible, Edible Akynos and RunAround Sue were all fabulous. My "Gay Boy of ceremonies" MAN-ee Champagne was in rare form...LOL, too funny.

My experiment of taking lines from several different sitcoms and movies really worked well, I took quotes from such shows as Golden Girls, Sanford and Son, The Nanny, The Jeffersons, Mary Tyler moore show and the movie Steele Magnolia's. I mixed them all up with the banter between MAN-ee and I and it was so fun. We're going to the show again very soon. We had such a blast and MargOH! maniacs were very pleased!

The one sore spot in the evening however was my on again off again wardrobe mistress Berna Breckenridge turned on me after the show.....Ever since she's been the head gaffer at the Letterman show she's so touchy. She seems to forget who paid for her gastric bypass and nursed her back to health...how dare she get crazy and slap me in the face because I picked up her shorts and said "Who's are these, they're enormous". Yes, that's right kids Berna slapped me in the kisser with her big meaty hand. Luckily, I was into my 4Th bottle of champers and i didn't even feel it but of course i didn't take this lying down. We had a bit of a scuffle which ended with me trying to drown her in the bathtub. Poor Linda Hunt had to use all of her power to hoist me off of her...I hate acting inappropriate in front of an Oscar winner but how dare that Berna Hit me, after all I've done for her, really. she also has more sass lately after her engagement with her union buddy....I still think that's a farce but who knows.

Kids can you believe I had to ice my cheek the next day and was forced to have a dirty martini at 8am to ease the pain. It's bad enough getting slapped by my help but to also be forced to drink that early in the morning....is well....a treat i suppose but damn that Berna. She is officially on my shit list for sure!!!

Kids, I'll be back with photo's and video of the burlesque show!

Kisses, MargOH!

MargOH! gets Press

2008-06-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

MargOH! got a lovely notice in the NEXT Magazine. Check it out!

Mamma MargOH!'s All Soul Burlesque Revue

2008-05-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hey kids,

The rehearsals started for the show and I'm heating up, its gonna be hot so if you are in NY in June , stop by and get your ass to Lucky Chengs!!

Kisses, M

Berna's Going to the Chapel

2008-05-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I know I've been quiet lately but I just found out some news that was too good not to share with you.

My wardrobe mistress and Head Gaffer for the Letterman show is getting hitched. I can't believe it!! Her union buddy Bernie popped the question the other day and she's been running around the house all week, breaking things, tripping on her tea cup heels and waving the ring in my face..Well the ring is nice, those union peeps rake it in, I must say but unfortunately it was a bit small for her finger and it only fits up to her knuckle, poor dear...

She's been so annoying that my Aunt Fawn-Tastic threatened to cut her with her skating blade...yikes...Oh , yeah by the way Aunt Fawn is actually training with Frank Carol(Michelle Kwans former coach) and she actually has been back to doing her double toe wally's and is almost up to doing a triple toe loop. She swears he has a crush on her and told her she will take the over 60's at the US championships...goodness...

Back to Berna, anyway , she's been calling Betty Degeneres to see if Ellen will be her maid of honor...ahem...i doubt it and can you believe she told me that she wanted me to be the flower lady...my ass...if that cow is to get married I'm going to bartend...cause lord knows every one's going to need a stiff drink after seeing old berna in a wedding gown.....yikes..

Kids , I'll keep you updated on this event...good lord, help me know...

Kisses, M

Poem Series continue's

2008-04-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

This is just a new poem that has no reference to anyone....I was just feeling a little bad and a little , well you know...

Kisses, M

WHORE

Who is it that says I’m a whore?
Go on let them in, it’s about to begin
Go on ahead and open the door
I’m the whore, the tale, take a swig

Who is it that says I’m a whore?
You’re sucking up; swing the door
Is it me licking up the sweat?
If I’m the whore; let’s bet

So it’s you that says I’m a whore
This is a game to have no end
I see your sweat; shut the door
My talent to you I must defend

So it’s you that says I’m a whore
There’s no fight; it may be true
I’ve played your game; close the door
If I’m the whore; so be it to you

by MC

Inbreeding is Rampant

2008-04-21T06:01:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I know, I know...I've been terrible with this blog. I think it's because I'm turning 60 and I feel there is so much to do before may. There are things I haven't tried or done yet. I've been busy trying to catch up.

Just a few things... I never actually had sex with anyone older than me so I went out on a mission to Gramercy Tavern, not some place I'd usually go , it's stuffy and smells of burnt meat and whiskey. I didn't mind the whiskey part and actually sauntered up to the bar and had a snifter of cognac...yummy. Well wouldn't you know there were only ladies who lunch at the bar, yikes...wasn't into that... I ended up settling for a waiter named Smitty who was 66...I won't go into details but the drink was stiffer than the meat.....At least now I can get back to the young ones.

Speaking of young ones, I've made a fabulous new friend from Italy and his name is Valerio. He has many of his video's on you tube.He has a great voice and what a gorgeous young man. We've hit it off and have a lovely friendship going. We've decided to do a duet of "Somethin Stupid". This will also be a first, my first recorded duet, how fun....MAN-ee and I have done some fun stage duets and I love doing them so this will be a hoot....

Now to my topic inbreeding...It is all over the news , with that polygamist sect and those crazy gals that look exactly alike and talk like zombies. Their eyes are very close together which usually means inbreeding... I of course know a little about this because my father's side of the family were a bit , well not quite right and it was found that way back in the eighteen hundreds the family members were all doing each other... I think this explains why I have to pluck my eyebrows on a daily basis...they're so thick and bushy....

The other inbreeding that goes on is in the entertainment industry and especially new york cabaret....It's not really like that type of inbreeding...but it is very similar to a cult. I mean this of course in the nicest possible way but I hate the fact that in order to be part of the mix one must get the stamp of approval by an established name....it's like whoring yourself out for a piece of the pie...truthfully I'd rather sleep my way to the top(like in Hollywood, you know like Catherine Zeta Jones) than have to suck up to people just to get attention and believe me I've never seen so much sucking up in my life....

I never realized when I was on the outside what a sham associations are and what obstacles they cause for some people. Now that I've gotten a glimpse of the inside and how things really work, I find it a bit sad and honestly all of the mystique that surrounds the entity have diminished for me...I've always been one who is accepting of all people and I treat people with talent the same as anyone else....but I find that getting the same in return isn't as easy.

Talent is not limited to what one, two or three people think because if that were so then there would never have been a Jackie Mason. I wish people would understand that Talent is not limited to a perception but is unlimited in spectrum....Oh god did that make sense or did that Cognac knock me for a loop....

I'll be back kids

Kisses, MargOH!

Poem Series continue's

2008-04-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

My next poem is for a very special woman...MAN-ee Champagne's wonderful and lovely grandmother, Isabel Ashton. She is a beacon of strength and most of all kindness.

Letters from Isabel
For
Isabel Ashton

Is anything in life guaranteed?
Beauty in nature, a wishing well
Indeed a grandmother’s love
Our guarantee, letters from Isabel

Writing a life’s worth of memories
Pen, Paper, Drawings, longing to tell
Kind, gentle, strong words float on air
Our guarantee, letters from Isabel

Endlessly optimistic, A special life
Goodness unwrapped, no expectation
Indeed a grandmother’s love
Run to the mailbox, it’s there above

Is anything in life guaranteed?
Oh, but how lucky are we
To have shared in life, so sweet
We’re here, we know it to be

Nothing in life is guaranteed
Toss the coin, the wishing well
Oh, but how lucky are we
Our guarantee, letters from Isabel

Eternal written words to share, please no tears
Pen, Paper, Drawings, longing to tell
Run to the mailbox, smile it’s there
Our guarantee, letters from Isabel

Kisses, MargOH!

New Show Promo

2008-04-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

Here's a new show promo I worked on. I'm sure its not the final one...

Kisses, M

My Tryst with David Patterson

2008-04-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

There has been something I've been blindly carrying around with me for the past few weeks...well maybe that's not the best word for it. Let's just say I've been burdened by the fact that I to have slept with the new governor David Patterson.

Of course I didn't know at the time that he was a public official , it was a few years ago . I had just gotten off the bus on 6Th ave and 23rd street on my way to meet my agent Shecky. This was the same day he was to give me the bad news that I lost the "smuckers" voice over commercial to that pesky Willard Scott.

Anyway, I got off the bus and was making my way down the street and this guy banged right into me and I dropped my purse, which of course was filled with Nips of vodka..as I started picking them up he grabbed one and guzzled it down so I followed suit...

Then he told me he'd never smelt a more beautiful woman...I was wearing my "white Diamonds" that day. He then gestured to the Chelsea hotel and said, wanna romp sweetie? I thought, Shecky can wait and said sure as long as he was paying. He pulled out a wad of cash and we were off. I must say he was a bit clumsy and had a bit of trouble paying for the room, I think the room was 200 but he gave the guy
500.I felt a bit pressured and thought, hell I better be good....

I was of course and so was he. He was like an animal, sniffing and probing me like a snake blinded by lust...Oh, there I go again. Honestly I didn't know he was blind, though now when I look back I should have seen the signs especially when he told me he accidentally put on his wife's panties cause the room was too dark, I was like, yeah , right.

Knowing what I know now it's all a bit funny. I do feel silly that I didn't realize he was blind but he covered it up so well and I didn't mind the whole pantie thing. He was a charmer and he did say he thought I was 25-26....I even said I thought he needed glasses and he just laughed...yikes....

Well kids, I feel much better getting that off the old chest. You know I'm going to be 60 next month. This is crazy times.....I figure I've only got 40 more years so no time for regrets....but if you listen to Barbara Walters I could possibly squeak out another 90 years.....I don't know...I couldn't imagine living that long...please I'd have to freeze Berna....

Kisses,

MargOH!

I'll be back

2008-04-01T16:38:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I know I've been slacking on me old blog. I have way too much stuff going on!! but I promise I will be back with new posts asap.....

Love ya kids!!

Kisses, M

Poem Series continue's

2008-03-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

Here is my poem for the lovely and Leggy Legs Malone

34 ½
For
Legs Malone

34 ½

Limbs cutting through sky
Dancing cutting through wind
Legs that seem to defy
Glorious perfection, don’t ask why

Floating pictures of perfection
Dancing cutting through wind
Long supple singular sensation
Legs that seem to defy

Beauty is not always easy
Dancing cutting through wind
Legs dancing c’mon tease me
Thirty Four and a Half for us to see

Glorious perfection, don’t ask why
Just gaze stretching to the sky
Amaze me; set the tone
Thirty four and a half, that’s Legs Malone

by MargOH! Channing

Save the Date " All New Show"

2008-03-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I'm launching a new show in June "Mamma MargoH!'s All Soul Burlesque Review". It will feature some of the hottest NY Burlesque performers including Legs Malone, La John Joseph , Akynos and newcomer MAN-ee Champagne. All the performances will be backed by a fabulous band "The Dirty Boogaloo".

More information to follow!!

Kisses, M

MargOH!'s Promo Video

2008-03-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

I'm cookin

2008-03-12T05:56:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids,

I've been so busy writing shows and now beginning the planning stages plus i shot one of my films last month. I haven't been updating you on my life. I'll be back with some updates on poor Aunt Fawn and Sully's operation...yikes... and guess what I just found out I have a long lost relative from London. Yes, its true, her name is Agnes Channing Blatton-Grabowski....I'll fill you in very soon.

Kisses, MargOH!

Poem Series continue's

2008-03-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I'm getting even more poetic as the glasses of champagne go by....
Here is another in my Poem Series for my darling dandy Dan from the UK....
he's like Spice and everything nice...

Mini Coopey
For
My Danny

Mini Coopey

Slight, slim gleaming sophistication
Touch, feel the heart and love
Gentle soul, bleeds expectation
Raise your glass, beating heart and love

Floppy haired sense of humor
Touch, feel the heart and love
An ocean apart, Sullied with Glamour
Raise your glass, beating heart and love

Slight, slim gleaming sophistication
Dancing on stage, for all to see
Gentle soul, bleeds expectation
Raise your glass for what will be

Floppy haired sense of humor
Life, a gallery of pictures
Dancing on stage, for all to see
Raise your glass to ecstasy

By MargOH! Channing

Poem Series continue's

2008-02-28T13:23:00.000-08:00

hey kids,

Here is a poem for my darling Alice.....she sparkles....

Sparkle
for Alice Skidmore

Sparkle

Fashion sense reigns supreme
Shades, green sparkle in the crowd
Glorious, guiding the way
Blonde bombshell suits the day

Old school charm and grace
Shades, green sparkle in the crowd
Deep red lips, porcelain is skin
A figure eight, no stop to begin

Fashion sense reigns supreme
Glorious, guiding the way
Young Crawford she beams
Picture perfect takes the day

Old school charm and grace
Dressing it up for the stars
Shades, green sparkle in the crowd
Dressing the world, a better place

By MargOH! Channing

MargOH!'s Theme

2008-02-26T13:35:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

A clip from my last show singing "Fishmongers Daughter".

Kisses, MargOH!

Poem Series Continued

2008-02-24T11:17:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

Here is another poem for my kids

MAN-ee Champagne

It’s so fun, a gay fiancé
Fresh, bubbly, dash of style
Blurred pictures, a life so gay
A whirlwind to share for all while

It’s so fun, a gay fiancé
My MAN-ee, to love him so
Sensitive, caring, doesn’t he know
Blurred pictures, loving us every day

It’s so fun, a gay fiancé
Opening my eyes to see the world
Champagne bubbles, drink the day
Scattered, scampering like a squirrel

It’s so fun, a gay fiancé
Champagne bubbles, lights dancing
Always knowing me in every way
Blurred pictures, loving him every day

By MargOH! Channing

Poem Series continue's

2008-02-22T09:20:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

Here's another poem. More to come. Sam is also known in some circles as Princess McCool......

Homespun
For
Sam Rowan

Homespun

Some may think it’s crazy
Patchwork, thread and love
Intricate, not for the lazy
Amazing, all talent above

An aptitude that’s homespun
Heart is where the home is
Sewing, healing until it’s done
A quilting class for everyone

Like Biking in the cold
Some may think it’s crazy
Like a school girl, bold
Intricate, not for the lazy

Wrap me in your quilt
Sewing, healing until it’s done
Sam’s where the heart is
Quilts, love, cookies for everyone

By MargOH! Channing

Poem Series

2008-02-21T10:06:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I've been inspired by people in my life so a series of poems is a must.

Here is the first

Phoebe

A light at the end of the tunnel
Most do not get to see
Some only get the vision of funnel
I’m lucky to get to see

Quirky, fun and inquisitive
Most do not get to see
Gentle, sweet, wanting to give
I’m lucky to get to see

Is there anything more fun?
Searching through a charity shop
Some only get the vision of funnel
I’m lucky to get to see

Is there a needle in the haystack?
I’m lucky to get to see
A light at the end of the tunnel
That is our girl Phoebe

by MargOH! Channing

MargOH!'s Cocktail Caucus

2008-02-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I've been so busy....drinking that I haven't put a post up in a bit, sorry dolls. We had our UK pals over for a cocktail, it was all very last minute for we just flung it together after meeting up the night before at Sean's gallery opening. Things move fast in my world kids...though the bottles seem to fly a little faster at times. I'm still a little hung today ...yawza.

Here are some pics from the little party and I do not think Hillary or Barack would approve the message....

We did have fun though!!

Kisses, M

MargOH! Invests

2008-02-12T07:02:00.001-08:00

Hey Kids,

Well you know I'm not getting any younger, I will be turning 60 in a few months but thanks to cod liver oil, various other fish oils and champagne I look 40.

I've never been that concerned with age but I have come to realize the extra roles won't come in forever and I will need income. It's obvious I'll be here another 20 years at least so I have been looking into various investments. If you all recall I came into a little "Stumpy Jones" money after my little "almost had a daughter" saga. I tucked that away and was waiting for the right thing and kids I found it.

A Haddock farm in Jackson, New Hampshire. Thats right, MargOH! is the proud owner of "Haddie's Haddock Farm and Fishery". It was actually Stoli who contacted me about a few schemes she thought of but this one seemed to be the best. I mean it really keeps the "fish" in the family so to speak. It is also a solid investment sure to keep me in champagne and fish oil for my lifetime. I mean with the way the environment is headed they'll be no fish in the ocean so they'll have to get their haddock from my pools...

More importantly it will eventually keep Berna busy because I'll be sending her up there to check on things from time to time. It really isn't anything that I have to be invloved in. I have two men named Fergie and Fred Fishstein running the joint, they're a lovely couple who recently made a civil union in New Hampshire. I really didn't know that gays were interested or knew anything about fish but these two were both married to women in the past so it all made sense to me after meeting them. I feel my fish are in good hands with these two boys.

We had a fabulous time hanging out in New Hampshire and of course we hit the slopes and i also hit a lovely ski instructor named Roscoe, he had a liking for the older gals and jacuzzi's. I really hadn't had any in a while but I was all fish oiled up so things went very smoothly....yummy...MAN-ee kept himself busy with the other ski instructor Ashton, he was a Utah boy gone wild and poor MAN-ee was so exhausted upon our return home from all of his snowplowing or should I say Ashton's plowing...Oh it's so fun having a gay fiance...it really is...

I'll keep you posted on my fish farm....My daddy salty would be so proud!!

Kisses, M

PS. My Aunt Fawn came with me to compete in the over 70's Figure skating sectionals. This is a story in itself so I'll post about that in the next one...yikes..Let me just put it this way we spent 6 hours in the emergency room having them remove a tree branch from her ass.....

Go Vote and Judge MargOH!

2008-02-06T08:39:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

MargoH! is in the hunt to be judged and voted for on Ourstage.com . My song "Fat Girl" which I loaded up yesterday has jumped from #276 to #96 in just one day, the the best thing is I haven't even asked anyone to go vote for me until now. If I win on this channel I can perform at an awards show here in NYC.

Please click on the above link and help an old gal out and rate my song "Fat Girl" against some of the best indie music out there.

How it works is you register for free, then go to channel plugawards 2008 and listen to 2 songs for 15 seconds and rate which one you like best. When my song pops up vs. another song rate it. Now you know I love this song and I know you will too!

Thanks kids!!!

MargOH!

GO Hillary GO!

2008-02-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

Well it's true. I've decided to vote for Hillary Clinton. I of course was a Kucinich gal from the very beginning but we all know that this Democracy only allows the very, very, very, very, very , very rich to run for President. This left me with either Barack or Hillary. Now, I of course would never vote for Hillary if this was a fashion election..I mean really her suits are just so stiff and unappealing. I would vote for Barack if it were a fashion contest for sure.

I made my decision on the final debate. Hillary is a smart woman and he an intelligent man but what swayed me was not what they said but to me it was all in the body language. The final thing was when the debate was over and everyone was wrapping up and Hillary got up and took off her own microphone pack but Barack didn't attempt to remove his, instead he had a stagehand come out and remove it for him.

In my eyes there was a sence of arrogance on his part in the way he handled that situation but Hillary was just no- nonsence and took the thing off. This shows me that Hillary is a doer and Barack is more a sit back and have everyone else do it kind of guy.

I know, I know but it's hard to choose when you know politician's are never 100% truthful and will say anything to get a vote. It is these small things that make me lean towards one or the other.

I just think we need a Hillary right now because she's a tough broad that won't take crap from conservatives.

Go Hillary Go!

MargOH!'s Lovers

2008-01-30T12:08:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

Many people have asked me about my trysts. I've never been one to kiss and tell but what the hell and these are just a few and yes i tend to like short men.... Now one of these people I only spooned with, no sex. Can you guess which one?

Kisses, MargOH!

New Blog in the works

2008-01-28T13:35:00.000-08:00

Hey Kids,

I'm constructing a new blog that I hope will become interactive and fun for all. It is a Pop Culture blog and I will be searching and spanning the globe to find all thing's celebrity to talk about. There will be fun things like "I could have done that" and the "Sleaze-O-Meter". I've also got a co-host that really doesn't say much but his name is "Duckworth" and people who choose to get involved and chat with MargoH! will become ducklings....

It's all new and in the works so stay tuned. I've put the link in my "Martini Club" section.

Check it out Kids!!

Kisses, MargOH!